I Need Help

[Toben]

My names Toben, I'm from Queensland, Australia. I have what I think might be a slight case of social phobia and I need help with getting over it. I'm 18 and I've had it all my life, I've never been to see a doctor about it because, well, I'm honestly to embarrassed. I live by my self, have done for about 4 years now, I use to live with my nana, who was pretty protective, but after she died, unlike I thought it would, nothing changed about my attitude, if anything I've become shyer since then. I've never had a girlfriend, due to the fact that every time I go to talk to chicks I stutter, my voice cracks, I get hives etc. I have a pretty big group of friends though, but most of them are ego obsessed over achievers, who bitch about everyone and have to make a standing point whenever they enter a room, I don't why I'am friends with them. There was a time that spanned about 3 years of my teenage life in which I used lots of drugs and drank allot, I gained allot of my life experience from those times, because partying excessively helped me communicate with people a little more comfortably, I don't do it so much any more, well I do, but with less social interaction, which is probably worse, but I've gotten professional help for that.

I don't know if anything as obvious as a site like this could give me the help I need, but its worth a shot. I just need, I need to know what it is that makes me so different. I have uncontrollable impulsive emotions and sometimes get so shy I can't speak without having the feeling of choking back tears, its so ****ed. I'm smart enough to realize everything that's wrong with me, just not smart enough to fix it, what can I do? Where have I gone wrong? Its so hard for me to maintain a normal relationship with people that I get so lonely, its weird. Even when writing this I have butterflies in my stomach, my hands are shaking and my skin is hot and crawling, I know thats not normal, that everything doesn't have to be this stressful, but its like... I don't know how to fix it, so I'm asking you all.

Thank You.

 

[hangbi92]

We all feel the same as you. People with social anxiety often know that their fear is excessive and unreasonable but they dont know how to fix it. Through what u describe I think u have a slight disorder (about the part u say u r worrying when typing this). But u can still go to parties so it is probably not severe, and I think u have many chances to recover from it. I have severe SAD so most of the time I isolate myself in my room. I have never gone to any parties. I know how I shouldnt be anxious unreasonably around people, I feel very lonely but whenever I get around people my brain seem to stop working properly.
And most people here have SA like you, they r in the same situation as you so I think they can not help u much. What I think u should do is to get help a therapist. They will help u with psychotherapy, or with medicine in severe case. Hope u get better soon

 

[Toben]

Its nice to meet you all by the way, I don't know anyone else who feels the same way, and even just taking the time to write that, and know that some one read it, and related to it, is a huge relief of sorts.

Yes, I have been thinking about going to a doctor for about a year now, I went to a therapist when I was 16, but I haven't gone for about 6 month's now, the place is a long way out of my comfort zone and I don't like the judgment he passes. I suppose I was hoping to find some timely words of wisdom that would give me a quick solution, that's really the only reason I signed up, and in retrospect, that was an incredibly irrational thought... But I get what your saying, and that's what I always tell my self, that there is no quick fix, and that I need to see a doctor, Christ, its been like 10 years since I've been to a doctor. I think I'll book an appointment tomorrow, I dunno, I mean how can a doctor even help me?

 

[Toben]

Yeah, I understand that, but how can a doctor help?

 

[Toben]

Defiantly is man.

 

[hangbi92]

the place is a long way out of my comfort zone and I don't like the judgment he passes

U have to find a therapist that u find comfortable with. A therapist that truly understand about SAD will not make u feel annoyed by his judgement

Yeah, I understand that, but how can a doctor help?

U mean a therapist?
He will help u with something called CBT or medication if necessary.
U can find out more about CBT here:
Cognitive behavioral therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Toben]

Yeah, my therapist was never very good, very concerned with my living habits, very judgmental. I was never actually diagnosed with anything but schizophrenia, I've just been researching disorders like SA, and they fit what I believe is wrong with me to a tee. That's how I found the site, by goggling information on anxiety and anxiety treatment. I'm already on a few prescription drugs, such as Valium, but it does nothing for me. The only times I can ever have a comfortable, long conversation with anyone is well, honestly... When I smoke pot, so I smoke lots and lots of it, but the more I do it, the less it seems to relax me, at the moment I haven't smoked any pot for 3 weeks, and these have been 3 long, lonely, stressful weeks. But, yes, doctor, will do.

And yes, I've done CBT before, but only for a few weeks.

 

[NinjaLikesToast]

Welcome to the site.

Maybe it would be a good idea to get away from those friends, if only for a short time? You also need to decide if medication is the way you want to try and get through this. Some people like it, and it works, but others not so much. It is very easy to get addicted and/or become dependent on drugs to help you cope. I used to be on medication, and yes it helped so long as I took it, but it really didn't help solve the problem..
Hope you find some help on this site, it's a nice place to feel accepted

 

[hangbi92]

This therapist might know nothing about SAD, provided that u had told him exactly what your symptoms are. Actually u are the person who understand most whats going on with yourself.
And the recovery rate from SAD partly depend on u too. U have to have the willing to overcome it, and strictly follow the guidance from ur therapist.
In the worst situation, when no matter how hard u try u still cannot get rid of it, then u have to learn to live with it I think

 

[Toben]

Was on 2mg tablets from about 13-15, then 5mg tablets, but I stopped taking them, in Australia its harder to get prescription drugs than in the states. I'm not even sure if we can legally get a prescription for over 5mg. Its hard to get away from my friends, they generally do enjoy my company, I think, but I'm not sure if enjoy theirs. See, and I know it sounds a bit strange, but for work I'am an audio engineer, I mix and master local and international musicians music, either via internet or person, allot of the people who I do business like that with in person, are these terribly intimidating, egotistical musicians (rappers mainly). And some how, because we have done allot of work together, they have just adopted me into their circle of friends, but it just, makes me feel so uncomfortable, I can't hold conversation with them for very long without feeling really intimated, but other than that my friends, though aggravating my situation sometimes, usually don't worry me that much. Sometimes I think I could be happily alone like this for the rest of my life, it doesn't stress me that much, since I was very young I've never needed things like family, besides my nana, or friends. But then other times, I get real depressed or whatever. See today I'm feeling pretty good, probably cause one I had this chat, and two a chick I usta know rang me up simply to find out how I was doing, probably the best feeling I've had in weeks, I had a chat, then I got nervous and, it got quite, so we stopped talking and just sat there in silence, fail, I wish that **** didnt happen to me.

 

[Island_chic]

Its nice to meet you all by the way, I don't know anyone else who feels the same way, and even just taking the time to write that, and know that some one read it, and related to it, is a huge relief of sorts.

Yes, I have been thinking about going to a doctor for about a year now, I went to a therapist when I was 16, but I haven't gone for about 6 month's now, the place is a long way out of my comfort zone and I don't like the judgment he passes. I suppose I was hoping to find some timely words of wisdom that would give me a quick solution, that's really the only reason I signed up, and in retrospect, that was an incredibly irrational thought... But I get what your saying, and that's what I always tell my self, that there is no quick fix, and that I need to see a doctor, Christ, its been like 10 years since I've been to a doctor. I think I'll book an appointment tomorrow, I dunno, I mean how can a doctor even help me?

Therapy and meds worked very well for me. They do work!!! REALLY!!!! I know your embarassed to go just like I was but the longer you put if off ...the longer you'll suffer. It's better to be strong and make an appoinment. Hey I could barely talk when I went and I fought not to leave my first appointment but that's what it takes. That's just goes to show how much anxiety I had. The doctor will be aware that your very scared and can't talk. Just tell the doctor or therapist you have social phobia and need help even if that is the only line you can get out of your mouth. They will help you! Make a plan to do this and stick with the appointment or possibly see if you can get a house call (the therapist/doctor comes to your place).

I had a chemical imbalance and it was "corrected". I've improved so much. I've never been addicted to drugs. I take Lexapro and it works well. I hear xanex is addicting but again that is certain meds not all. Antidepressants/SSRI usually work best.

 

[Toben]

Going to see the doctor at the top end of town tomorrow, so so nervous.