I Manage To Turn People Off Everywhere I Go

[paindrivenlife]

It's a recurring theme. I'm 28 and no matter where I work or where I go, be it the store or the mall, I manage to cause people to think I'm odd or look at me funny. They spread the idea that I"m creepy or I'm weird and it sticks. It's been a problem since I was a child.

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

You think it's because of specific habits you have or maybe you're being paranoid? People with bad social skills, like myself, have weird ticks that cause people to be wary of us. For example, staring too long, no eye contact, pausing when someone addresses us instead of giving an answer right away. I think sometimes I'm just being paranoid when I think I turn people off, though. Probably just over-analyzing. That's common among shy people.

 

[dan_e]

pausing when someone addresses us instead of giving an answer right away

Yeah, that's a fun one......and the awkward silence that follows is even better.

 

[creep_x]

yeah i feel the same way .. i always have a look of fear on my face when i am in a public place which makes me look like a freak .. also the eye contact thing & pausing too much for answering back

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

A lot of those habits can be fixed with practice I've learned. When I was in college, I realized that I never kept eye-contact when I was talking to someone, so I forced myself to keep eye-contact and just after few days the problem was fixed. Another thing is, have answers ready for questions you know you're going to be asked at social events. You know someone is going to ask about your job, so practice a 30-second response and then say "What about you? What do you do?".

 

[princess_haru]

I have this problem too, and it seems to be self-perpetuating. My lack of confidence leads me to act uncomfortable and strange in certain situations, which means people look at me oddly and treat me differently to other people, which makes me paranoid and lowers my confidence further... etc etc... it's a hellish vicious circle.

A lot of those habits can be fixed with practice I've learned. When I was in college, I realized that I never kept eye-contact when I was talking to someone, so I forced myself to keep eye-contact and just after few days the problem was fixed. Another thing is, have answers ready for questions you know you're going to be asked at social events. You know someone is going to ask about your job, so practice a 30-second response and then say "What about you? What do you do?".

Yeah, I sometimes think that the reason we're awkward and nervous is lack of experience in social situations, so maybe the only answer is to get out there and practice. *Gulp* wish it didn't have to be so fucking scary though :?

 

[Infected_Malignity]

That's like when I try to suppress looking anxious or awkward: I just make it worse! If I'm anxious and I bottle it, people start to notice me fidgeting and shit. But oddly enough, whenever I admit to being nervous or panicky, people just look at me and go "You? Nervous? You're so layback!"

I guess that's why being emotionally open is the way to go. It totally keeps you at ease to let your flaws show, because of how much energy it seems to take in order to keep yourself all bottled up.

So now I'm just the anxiously awkward guy... and damn proud of it!

 

[princess_haru]

But oddly enough, whenever I admit to being nervous or panicky, people just look at me and go "You? Nervous? You're so layback!"

Heh, yeah someone once told me I come across as really laidback which totally shocked me, as I've always felt my insecurities were horribly obvious to the world! Well, sometimes they are... but it's good to know I can fake a relaxed, chilled attitude now and then :wink: