I lost a lot of thinf because of sa

desperatehousewife

Well-known member
I am a woman at at 30 and suffer from SA since 21 years!I lost a lot of thing because of this ilness...Firstly ı was always alone and people were bullying a lot...School life was horrible...

I changed a lot of jobs due to this ilness...People said that ı was abnormal.

The most painful one is father said that he can not live with me in the samöe house...he shouted at me because ı had no job and had not get married...when ı wa working, he wanted half of my money as expenses of house as electriciy water bills.he said if ı did not give this money to him, ı can not use stove to make my cofee, and poured my cofee to the sink.when ı was at home, he was walwayd shouating at me and ı always wanted to run away from home.he was always saying" this is my home, not yours, you are staying here without giving any money.

he was a religious man and always thinking about money...I decided to quit from th religion and said him ı have not a religion any more, ı got crazy, ı can not tell what ı lived actually. but the truth is ı hate him

he always says me what ı have to do or not and try to manage my life.

ı have understood that nobody s your friend even your family.money is a great power even they are religious people
 

mikebird

Banned
I lost a lot of things because of sa

Every word here describes me just the same

I'm in a hole I've dug for myself

Childhood was socially difficult but because of all the fake smiles and pleasantries were ignored

It took me to get to 30 to realise the mistakes I'd made.

Nobody wants to get to this state. I didn't expect it. My family have made me very envious. A lot of my school and family mockery was what I tried to.. giggle at and pretend it was OK

Dad now lives alone. I've moved across the country, and the family might see this as careless. I followed my Dad's basic principles of making money. I reached a peak, and couldn't understand why it's dwindled. Not my fault. I do what I can to please others. Life has incurred total rejection over time. Every acquaintance has been lost, and I did see this starting in my mid-twenties.

Being a geek doesn't appeal to my family. It's OK to pursue anything you want to.

I have occasionally made spills and been cumbersome at home alone which shows through. I've been to people's homes in a terrible state then I was a teenager, and thought I'll never get like that.

Every day's different

It gradually took a while to embed in me that breaking links with nobody to live with was the worst moment. Most people see life as simple: oh.. don't worry. Just keep going and find a new partner. But being fired after asking me "how's she?" was a plain tool of poking to reveal my status at work. I was sure being alone was a certain advantage - being free of arguments! :)

The creep sets in... loneliness, gaps between jobs. Interviewers poking with "what did you do here? Why did you leave?" I did expect this might happen from the first day of being alone forever... age 25. Striking out at new work opportunities and finding a new relationship... life's pure reality casino, gambling, getting short successes, and the length of each and the time between the next one and on & on... gets tempting, but eventually disappointing
 
Hun, I'm so sorry that you have been dealing with SA for 21 years. Your school life must have been important to you, It has been a rough time for me too, Social Phobia is very hard to be in social situations, so school is friggin' big for people like you and me, I hope your SA has reduced during those years a bit (?) and hopefully you become more stronger, and less anxious

You need support, you don't process these things what are on your mind, you are dealing with some serious issues, you are sad because of jobs, school, and you have been SA for 21 years, so you want to see changes

Have you been growing confidence, or been booking any succes or goals that have been easier through time, when you had SA?

I work my ass off to get these anxiety feelings away, they are always there, but I just do not want to give into it, but it's so hard, to not avoid, life is so hard with SA, but yet I do want to work, I do want to be social, I do want to do something in my life, So I can totally understand that you lost things, I never got any diploma and I never worked, I hope just like you I'd be able to work someday.

I hope things are easier now you live somewhere else, Hopefully it brings some relief, and that you can start over or something.

I am sorry about my not proper english, It is not my first language, I hope I can say that you got my sympathy and I am always here to support you through this time~!
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I am a woman at at 30 and suffer from SA since 21 years!I lost a lot of thing because of this ilness...Firstly ı was always alone and people were bullying a lot...School life was horrible...

I changed a lot of jobs due to this ilness...People said that ı was abnormal.

The most painful one is father said that he can not live with me in the samöe house...he shouted at me because ı had no job and had not get married...when ı wa working, he wanted half of my money as expenses of house as electriciy water bills.he said if ı did not give this money to him, ı can not use stove to make my cofee, and poured my cofee to the sink.when ı was at home, he was walwayd shouating at me and ı always wanted to run away from home.he was always saying" this is my home, not yours, you are staying here without giving any money.

he was a religious man and always thinking about money...I decided to quit from th religion and said him ı have not a religion any more, ı got crazy, ı can not tell what ı lived actually. but the truth is ı hate him

he always says me what ı have to do or not and try to manage my life.

ı have understood that nobody s your friend even your family.money is a great power even they are religious people

Sorry to hear that! ::(:
 
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