I know you guys are probably sick of these, but please help?

[kry6808]

I have not been professionally diagnosed with OCD, but am begining to think it is time to go get some help. Before I waste my time could you tell me if this is OCD or not, and if it is how do I tell my parents that I want to go get help (because they will not believe me and will only mock and ridicule me) I am 18 so if I really wanted to I go could go by myself. If that would be my option would they somehow be sent a thing from the insurance company saying I went to see a therapist or what is the deal there? I really appreciate anyone who replies.

For a period of time I have been exhibiting the following
behavior...
1).When I pull into a parking spot I have to first touch the gears shift to make sure it is in park and have to say park, then I have to touch the heater and say off, followed by touching my lights button and say off then I have to touch the gas pedal and say there and same with the brake and say there. I have to turn off the car and turn it back on and do the same thing over again. Then when I get out I have to lock it make
sure its locked, unlock it open the door make sure everything is off
walk around the car, and I will do that at least 5 times and then when I
get to the door of a building I have to go back and redo everything, even when it is freezing outside. - People do actually look at me, its very embarassing, but I have to do it or I will not be able to get through my day because my head will be flooded with thoughts that the car may roll back and kill someone or my battery will die because everything is on and then I will have to call home and disturb someone.

2). Before going to bed I have to first turn of my TV it cant be last it has to be first. Then I have to take my glasses off and put them back on 5
times in a row and it has to be done before an odd minute, then I have to
turn my alarm clock off ,turn off the volume ,turn back on the alarm
clock and the volume. Then I have to turn off my light. Then get in bed.
Get out of bed and touch the light to make sure its off, redo the whole
alarm clock and glasses thing and then make sure everything is off in
the house and everything is locked and everything is ok outside.- This can take me up til 90 minutes to do. If everthing is not done in a precise order I have to start over from the very begining. Theres also been times when I woke up from a deep sleep and realized my room is a mess (when in reality it isnt) and have to clean it or other wise I can't go back to sleep.

3). During the day I count letters of words until they reacg the number ten on my finger. People watch me and look but I have to do it, if I don't something bad will happen.

4).I love touching things and even thought what I told you may sound
stupid, come one touching the lights just to make sure they are off, I HAVE TO DO IT even though I know it is stupid I can't stop. I
have to leave early because I know what I will have to do, and if I don't
something horrible will go wrong and it will be my fault. What I do at
night is pretty stupid to and all last week I tried just going to bed
and it didn't work, I couldn't go to sleep and just started crying so I
just went ahead with everything and did it for 90 min. straight. People tell me I have OCD all the time...if I make a mistake I rip out a new piece of paper and start over, thing have to be in a certain order and done in a particualr manner. I told my one friend about my touching the light switch thing to make sure it is off and she laughed at me and I told her that if it isn't off something may catch on fire.

I really need help....it's ruining my life...I am so emotional and cry all the time because I can't help what I am doing even though it is silly. I have all these horrible thoughts and vivid day dreams, and they are disturing. Can someone please help me, I am so desperate.

 

[pinkputter]

hey I skimmed over your post. And for one, HOPE is so important. HOPE for a better future, and your attitude must display that. You can't think you are stuck here forever. You can be helped if you admit that you NEED help and are WILLING...

First off an internet forum is helpful, and from personal experience i will say it has been a great resource (and a resource ONLY), but it definitely will not cure anything.
I just wanted to remind you of that even tho I am sure youre aware. The things that I think are key to recovery is 1. understanding 2. practice 3. patience/resilliance

It's easy to sit here and type out feelings, and browse and look at what other people are going through, but recovery will start when you face your fears.

I would start buy getting some books, and read up on your condition. Amazon has some good books over all these subjects.
"Fear is no longer my reality" by jamie blythe or "The Feel Good handbook", just examples

If you feel comfortable, go see a professional. Yeah there are people who've said they were absolutely unhelpful. I've heard bad stories. But if the worst thing they can do in not understand, their job is to find some one who can, and they should recomend you to another therapist. Thats their job and usually its just a compatibility issue, nothing about you or them as a person...
I admit i was shaky about seeing a therapist. It took me a lot of time to work up the nerve to see one. But when I did it was extremely helpful ... and necessary to my recovery. If you think you can go now, like this week, do it.

Thats about all i got... hope that helps.

 

[sweetpea6656]

I do not suffer from OCD but I have a boyfriend who has been battling it for over 5 years now. What stood out particularly to me in your post is how you told your friend about your light switch dilemma and she reacted in ..well, not the greatest way.

No one will understand how you el until you let them.

I just found out my boyfriend actually had OCD a little while ago. The rest of our relationship I have been in the dark. He would always do "wierd" things that I never understood and of course people start making judgements. He would wash his hands continuously, he would always think he hit someone when driving, we would have to drive 30 miles home from school just to check if somethign was turned off, and I never understood why or what was going on, until now.

I have learned that a lot of people are afraid to talk about OCD with their friends and family and in my opinion it just hurts the person more. That is the best way to help yourself by letting people know whats going on. Although I am not a sufferer I live with someone who is and I see first hand what can happen. The only way your friends will understand better is if you educate them on what you actually have, maybe send them a webpage explaining what OCD is, and let them see it is something serious and it really isn't something you can control.

When I first found out about my boyfriend the first thing I did was look online for what OCD was. It was astonishing to me and it made a world of difference to actually see things written in a medical journal that are exactly what my boyfriend does. The things that seemed so "wierd" to me were totally normal! When people realize you can not control why you do your rituals or why you have certain thinking patterns they become more understanding such as myself. Friends and family will never have the chance to understand you unless you educate them.

My boyfriend has never taken medication or seen a therapist and he has managed to correct or help his situation a great deal. By facing your problems head on and showing you are not afraid and that you control your thoughts, and your thoughts don't control you, you will feel as if you really are in control and manage your OCD. I'm sorry I don't understand exactly how you feel but I do hope things look up for you and you find a way to manage your OCD. Best of luck...