I just can't let it go

[Weakminded]

My thoughts are still the same I forget about them but they still return and it puts me in a mental hell. My problem is when someone speaks I'm alwAys on the lookout for someone trying to talk negative about me and I always think people Are doing it through Inside jokes with one another. It's crazy but Im convinced I'm talking with different accents because of certain situations Ive been in where I felt like people were making fun of me. So everytime I hear certain accents come from someone I automatically think they are talking about me. I have a bad image of myself I know I suck at being social and I thi k Im dwelling on it way to much. When someone starts picking on me as a joke I don't know how to handle it without saying something that will make it awkward as far as threAtning someone goes so I end up not saying anything. Honestly I just don't know what to say and so I let it go and I feel like I look like a complete wuss and I feel like everyone already knows Im lacking something like he's weird or he doesnt know how to talk to people basically he's a loser. My name is Matt and when someone calls me Matthew I automatically think their talking down on me it's sooo crazy but yeah that's how I think and it's the way they say it like I'm a little kid or something. But back to the accent thing I honestly don't think I will over get over it even though people try go convince me that I don't do it I just can't stop thinking that I am still doing it. I feel like if you put me in a group of people and they All start talking that I will most definitely be noticed as weird even if I talk because I know they will think I talk weird or the accent thing will hAppen or they will catch on that this guy is 23 and he seems so inexperienced like he still acts like the awkward kid in high school. I focus so much on these thoughts everyday and I feel like there's soo much more to life than this but I don't allow myself to get past it. I deserve better. I don't know what to do..

 

[thomas90]

I think that your being very hard on yourself. Your at the stage where forcing yourself into unpleasant social situations will get you through the tough part, and its hard, i know but its a baby-step forward every time you do it.

You seem like your very up-tight in these social situations, try to relax! Take deep breaths, go for breaks to the toilet to calm your anxieties, and try to stay away from alcohol if you can help it, this isnt good for your anxiety.

Also CBT is a good way to change your unhelpful ways of thinking, say things like 'i can do this' when your in these situations. Even if it seems useless at the time, this will change your self talk over time.

Hope this helps

 

[reslo]

^ i like your post thomas90

as far as the "matt" thing- i know a matt who prefers the opposite!

you should correct people when they call you matthew (and if you have a nametag at like work or something, see if you can change it)

what helps me when i get paranoid that others are talking about me is to think "Am I that important that EVERYONE is talking about me?" the answer is generally no. and what gets rid of fear is facing fear- you can ask if they were talking about you.

"I'm alwAys on the lookout for someone trying to talk negative about me" why are you looking for negativity???? why not look for nice people?

 

[TorontoListener]

I can relate to your post because I used to feel the same way. But later I realized that while small children are apt to make fun of others, thankfully adults seldom do. Most well-adjusted people are too preoccupied with their own lives and are not interested in pointing out the flaws in others.

There are exceptions of course - there will always be office gossip from insecure or jealous people for instance. But on the whole people don't go out of their way to study you and point out your flaws.

In fact, if you are extremely self-conscious you can't help but appear awkward, so you make yourself stand out more than you would otherwise.