I have a lot to say, intellegent people come test themselves

[Scotty423]

Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Scott. I am 15 and I love 70's and 80's rock music, I even got the hair, but that is enough about me. I have had a problem for the longest time but I have no idea what it is... Let me explain my situation. If you plan on reading go to the bathroom now cause it's gonna be long.

From when I was born 15 years ago, I have moved 14 times, that is almost once a year since I have been born. (My mom likes to move in with the guys she sleeps with.) From moving so much I am guessing you probably already know that my self esteem is low, and that I am very shy. I have so many things constantly going on in my head it's not funny.

One of my problems is that Social awkwardness. I know that people like me and that they wouldn't mind talking to me, but it's come to that point where I just want to give up on making friends cause we have moved so much. That and I am in my awkward teenage phase. Right now I am currently going to my 8th school. I really don't like this one because there are so many people, I get really uncomfortable in these situations. I guess you could say I am depressed about leaving my old school because I did good there. I had plenty of friends, because I was noticed because I was the only guy there with long hair, that changed here. I have been crying myself to sleep a lot lately... This has never happened before. I am constantly thinking of all the people that are having fun on the weekends while I loaf at home in the country everday bored. I don't even play games anymore, it's just come to the point where I want to do nothing but sit around, and think how bad this sucks. It does help that I have a little brother, going through the same things as me, but we really need somebody to talk to... My mom doesn't work because she ends up usually yelling at me. My grandma tries her hardest, but she has never been through it. I tell her she helps though, because she is so sweet.

Another one of my problems is of course the infamous girl problems. Since you know that I was moving a lot I am very nervous around girls... I have had three girlfriends but that was because I had a stepbrother when I was living in Illinois. He always took me to dances and things like that so I was actually doing well there, but that was years ago. The third one I really liked, we did everything together, but we never actually kissed which upsets me. This was because I was supposed to be visiting my hometown of ohio for the summer, but while we were there, our mom was in Illinois, she decides to move back to Ohio all of a sudden! So we move back and start going to school, because this decision was at the end of the summer. I started getting shy and all that stuff again since I was switching schools, and for some reason I was too nervous to call her. So one whole year went by at that new school. That summer I was excercising one day, and that really boosted my self esteem, I got the courage to call her. When she picked up and realized it was me... She hung up, I still wish to this day I could go back and just keep calling til I could of said sorry. I have one more story if you can put yourself through it. Last year, I was at my favorite school of all time in Rockford, Ohio. During the course of that year I started noticing the foreign exchange student name Nikola, I really liked her, she was pretty, she had a great sense of humor, and that accent, gotta love that. Well some kid convinced me to go to a dance to ask her and I'm thinking, yeah I'll do it yeah. I then got there and thought, what the heck am I doing. So I tried sitting on one of the chairs the whole time wanting it to be over. Well I didn't know it but somebody asked her to dance with me and SHE AGREED!!! I was just sitting there unaware that she was coming. One minute she wasn't there, then she popped up out of nowhere! I freaked out and left... Then I fell into the snow thinking why for the next five minutes before I got to cold. This is something I wish I could change, but I can't. She already left back to her home country and I am starting a new school year somewhere else.

MY LAST PROBLEM!!! I really don't know what to do about my mom. What would anyone else do in a situation like this? She has moved me many times and she has always worked second shift, it's hard for me to like her. I by no means hate her, she provides for me, food, shelter, clother, water, etc. But that's the only reason I love her, and I feel that is wrong...

Oh man, that's the first time I ever got all my feelings out... and It feels good. For any of you that actually read it, thank you.

 

[SilentType]

You need to stop focusing on the negative aspects of your childhood so much. Think about the good things in life and focus on them and everything else will build around it.

Peace

 

[Starry]

Hello Scott.

Well, firstly I think you sound like a very intelligent, interesting person.

But I am sorry about all the problems that have been caused by moving so much throughout your childhood. I've never experienced that, I've only moved three times in my life, but I know how important it is to feel settled and secure during the developmental stages that make up childhood. Moving so much doesn't provide the sense of security required, so, in all cases but those where the familial bond is particularly strong, it's going to lead to problems. Not least because of the constant changes in your personal local society. It's hard enough being comforatble with a society you've been part of your whole life, (For me anyway) but when you have to constantly join new ones (i.e. the new schools, having new neighbours etc...) it must bring a whole new level of stress and anxiety.

However, there's nothing you can do to change the past. You have to look forward. Accept the negatives that have affected you, but refuse to let them trouble you now, just let them be. You can't alter the past but the future isn't here yet, that can be changed into whatever you want it to be, but only by working in the present...

I realise it must be hard to talk to your mom if she ends up shouting at you most of the time. But I recommend that you do try to talk to her some more. I have no idea how you react to her reactions, but you seem intelligent enough to be able to reason well. So persistence may be the key. Just try not to react negatively to any negative reactions of hers, try to be reasonable and calm.

Lastly, don't feel bad about thinking the only reasons you love your mom are the fact she provides you with the things you need. You may think that, and it may be true, but the fact you think that's wrong, perhaps means that you wouldn't only love her for those reasons... So, perhaps you do genuinely love her, if only for the fact she's your mom... Try not to worry about it though.

 

[virtue]

yo man,slog it out a year or 2 more and then try to get youre own place
youll probaly need a job but