DaDahhhhDaDaDa
Active member
This is really, really bad for a straight guy but I'm honestly a misogynist towards girls my own age (17).
This kind of haterd pretty much came from an incident that happened before I had even gotten SA and Depression, thing about it is, it didn't even happen to me.
I often went to the movies with my old 'group' (the guys who I don't even speak to now) in year eight, and we'd get together with girls from other schools for a few laughs. I was really different then, and I actually became really good friends with this girl who lived in the countryside and was staying in the city with her grandparents for the month. We talked and joked around alot. I spoke with her two friends she met in my area and I found that I could actually relate better to girls than the tough, hardass males common in this town. Come to think of it now I don't even remember her name.
My 'group' and hers met together to go to the cinemas, and while we were walking down one of her friends told us about a prank they were playing on this guy called Michael from my school. He was waiting at the movies for her friend, and when we got there, her friend actually told him he was ugly and to go home in front of a whole line of people waiting to get into the theater. In my past a**holish self, I laughed aloud with the group at him as his head literally sagged and he walked out.
Now, most of us would get extremely angry or at the very least try to keep some 'dignity' in such an embarassment by holding their head high in front of others. But this guy really took it bad and I certainly don't blame him, they were taking pictures of him with camera phones just to add to the crap.
I really didn't think how bad it was until later that day. This was the worst possible embarassment that could happen to someone at such an early age, and I thought, they could do the same to me. I didn't go to the movies anymore, and certainly didn't speak to the girl or her friends again. Michael left my school after he was punched in the face during one of his regular bus trips home - great farewell. :?
This mentality seems to remain in my mind subconciously, everytime I'm talking to a girl my age I tend to ignore her, and I make it obvious too, not even turning my head in her direction. I sometimes even narrow my eyes when a girl offers her hand. In the rare occasion that I do get into a conversation it often ends very quickly as I get very nervous thinking that she might just be mocking me.
Can anyone suggest anything to help? I can talk to older women just fine, I like talking to them more than men. I think the fact that this didn't happen to me has made it more of a great fear, watching it happen just makes me incrediblely anxious, I know if it happened to me I wouldn't be able to handle it.
This kind of haterd pretty much came from an incident that happened before I had even gotten SA and Depression, thing about it is, it didn't even happen to me.
I often went to the movies with my old 'group' (the guys who I don't even speak to now) in year eight, and we'd get together with girls from other schools for a few laughs. I was really different then, and I actually became really good friends with this girl who lived in the countryside and was staying in the city with her grandparents for the month. We talked and joked around alot. I spoke with her two friends she met in my area and I found that I could actually relate better to girls than the tough, hardass males common in this town. Come to think of it now I don't even remember her name.
My 'group' and hers met together to go to the cinemas, and while we were walking down one of her friends told us about a prank they were playing on this guy called Michael from my school. He was waiting at the movies for her friend, and when we got there, her friend actually told him he was ugly and to go home in front of a whole line of people waiting to get into the theater. In my past a**holish self, I laughed aloud with the group at him as his head literally sagged and he walked out.
Now, most of us would get extremely angry or at the very least try to keep some 'dignity' in such an embarassment by holding their head high in front of others. But this guy really took it bad and I certainly don't blame him, they were taking pictures of him with camera phones just to add to the crap.
I really didn't think how bad it was until later that day. This was the worst possible embarassment that could happen to someone at such an early age, and I thought, they could do the same to me. I didn't go to the movies anymore, and certainly didn't speak to the girl or her friends again. Michael left my school after he was punched in the face during one of his regular bus trips home - great farewell. :?
This mentality seems to remain in my mind subconciously, everytime I'm talking to a girl my age I tend to ignore her, and I make it obvious too, not even turning my head in her direction. I sometimes even narrow my eyes when a girl offers her hand. In the rare occasion that I do get into a conversation it often ends very quickly as I get very nervous thinking that she might just be mocking me.
Can anyone suggest anything to help? I can talk to older women just fine, I like talking to them more than men. I think the fact that this didn't happen to me has made it more of a great fear, watching it happen just makes me incrediblely anxious, I know if it happened to me I wouldn't be able to handle it.