I hate to have this fear

[Falkor]

I feel very depressed.. because I always hide from people at school.. I hide always in the corner because of Social phobia. I'm sick of it.. I can't sit in the canteen because it's so crowded .. It terrifies me.. How can I ever not hide in the bushes (toilets) I hate it.. I just want to be different.. I just won a meet n greet tonight and I feel low, I feel like I don't deserve it.. I mean, at school I'm a wall flower, a weird social inept person.. I hate how Insecure I am..

I really wanna become different. But HOW? I just don't have the damn gutts to sit in the canteen, I feel terrible by it. Everyone is having ppl to talk to I'm just social inept. staring at everyone whose happy and i'm just low.

 

[theslowesthand]

I had Social Phobia all thru my schooling days. Was always hiding behind others when walking to/from classes. "Painfully shy" i guess is another name for it. Occasionally i would hide in the library, toilet or home room, so that i could avoid going to assembly (as that was like "hell" for me, especially as my bus was always late to arrive & so i and a few others had to enter with everybody already there, and ATTEMPT to find a seat without "freaking out" with embarassment). For some reason they arranging things so that the ABSOLUTE EXACT NUMBER of seats were available, and so if nobody in my year was wagging or sick, then there woul be EXACTLY ONE SEAT LEFT, no more & no less, & if i didn't LOCATE that ONE seat, i was "scr***d". Having to do that every day was "TOTURE" for me, so it's NO WONDER i started to skipping them, which meant i sometimes missed important information. Can't recall how many i missed, was at least a few.

Although it's "handy" knowing the disorder (eg Social Phobia) one has, i think it's even more useful to get "beyond" the label, so at try to target the deeper/causative issues behind it (you know, is more "practical" imho)

Here's a basic definition of Social Phobia that i have...
"Social Phobia (previously called social anxiety disorder) is an excessive fear of public performance, or social situations, where a person fears public embarrassment, or is fearful of appearing foolish, weak, or otherwise inadequate. Like Specific Phobias, situationally-bound (cued) panic attacks are a common symptom, and phobic situations are avoided. Blushing, trembling, or difficulty speaking are frequently evident during situationally-bound panic attacks. Social Phobia typically includes fear of: 1) public performance, and/or 2) social gatherings. Examples of public performance anxiety include situations involving public speaking such as being called upon by a teacher in class, or making a sales presentation at work. People with public performance anxiety are typically worried that others will notice their shaking hands and trembling voice, and that they will be embarrassed and negatively judged by others. Examples of social gathering anxiety include social events such as a birthday parties, office parties, wedding receptions, or any gathering of people such as a night club. People with this type of anxiety have excessive concerns about being negatively judged, ridiculed, or embarrassed. They may be afraid to eat or drink in front of others because they fear others will notice their shaking hands, or that they will do something embarrassing (such as spill their drink)"

So it is a phobia, and therefore caused by irrational thoughts/beliefs (neuroses). So that's where i would start, "nipping in the bud" these irrational thoughts. Recently i've started using a "mantra" i made up: "THINK before you ACT .. THINK before you REACT .. THINK before you THINK". So you have to try teach yourself to STOP that troublesome train of thought RIGHT WHEN IT STARTS .. and immediately attempt to RATIONALISE it (by replacing with rational & positive thoughts)

The power of your thoughts ! .... You can do it !! .... Hang in there Sas !!!

 

[muxmux]

The only way to conquer your fears, is to face them.. sad, BUT TRUTH.
Keep pushing your comfort zone a little bit everyday, i ain't gonna lie, it ain't no sunshine and rainbows, its gonna be hard... but you will get better, just don't give up, and face your fear.

 

[Falkor]

I had Social Phobia all thru my schooling days. Was always hiding behind others when walking to/from classes. "Painfully shy" i guess is another name for it. Occasionally i would hide in the library, toilet or home room, so that i could avoid going to assembly (as that was like "hell" for me, especially as my bus was always late to arrive & so i and a few others had to enter with everybody already there, and ATTEMPT to find a seat without "freaking out" with embarassment). For some reason they arranging things so that the ABSOLUTE EXACT NUMBER of seats were available, and so if nobody in my year was wagging or sick, then there woul be EXACTLY ONE SEAT LEFT, no more & no less, & if i didn't LOCATE that ONE seat, i was "scr***d". Having to do that every day was "TOTURE" for me, so it's NO WONDER i started to skipping them, which meant i sometimes missed important information. Can't recall how many i missed, was at least a few.

Although it's "handy" knowing the disorder (eg Social Phobia) one has, i think it's even more useful to get "beyond" the label, so at try to target the deeper/causative issues behind it (you know, is more "practical" imho)

Here's a basic definition of Social Phobia that i have...
"Social Phobia (previously called social anxiety disorder) is an excessive fear of public performance, or social situations, where a person fears public embarrassment, or is fearful of appearing foolish, weak, or otherwise inadequate. Like Specific Phobias, situationally-bound (cued) panic attacks are a common symptom, and phobic situations are avoided. Blushing, trembling, or difficulty speaking are frequently evident during situationally-bound panic attacks. Social Phobia typically includes fear of: 1) public performance, and/or 2) social gatherings. Examples of public performance anxiety include situations involving public speaking such as being called upon by a teacher in class, or making a sales presentation at work. People with public performance anxiety are typically worried that others will notice their shaking hands and trembling voice, and that they will be embarrassed and negatively judged by others. Examples of social gathering anxiety include social events such as a birthday parties, office parties, wedding receptions, or any gathering of people such as a night club. People with this type of anxiety have excessive concerns about being negatively judged, ridiculed, or embarrassed. They may be afraid to eat or drink in front of others because they fear others will notice their shaking hands, or that they will do something embarrassing (such as spill their drink)"

So it is a phobia, and therefore caused by irrational thoughts/beliefs (neuroses). So that's where i would start, "nipping in the bud" these irrational thoughts. Recently i've started using a "mantra" i made up: "THINK before you ACT .. THINK before you REACT .. THINK before you THINK". So you have to try teach yourself to STOP that troublesome train of thought RIGHT WHEN IT STARTS .. and immediately attempt to RATIONALISE it (by replacing with rational & positive thoughts)

The power of your thoughts ! .... You can do it !! .... Hang in there Sas !!!

Hi,

Thank you so much for your reply, it means so much to me, I think you hit the nail there. Think before i act and think before i react, and think before I think. I will defenitely try doing that, though it will be a hard mission but maybe it helps to project everything i do before doing it, so I wont do it clumsy, though it will be hard..

Thank you, you are having the same severity of SA, It's so hard to be like this, it's like the world is tumbling down.. I feel like that, I still recognize myself in this picture and ofc I found school and got at the roads again, but right now it's getting close, I'm still feared of many stuff, social humiliated all time, I have to let go of that painfully shy problem... I wanna cope with that problem.

I'm trying to find a CBT coach...