I hate being shy!!

[recluse]

I've recently joined a clay shooting club and i went to my third meeting today. I would never have dreamed of joining any club if it wasn't for a family friend who invited me along. Anyway the shooting is going great and i feel that i am doing well considering it's only my third time shooting clays and my fourth time shooting a shotgun. My problem is my painful shyness, i wish i could just go there and do my shooting without having to be social. It's not that i don't want to be social it's the fact that i have no clue how to start conversations, and sometimes i can think of something but am too afraid to say it.

On the inside i am a warm, friendly guy but my shyness forms a impenatrable bubble around me. What i am afraid of is people wrongly judging me as being snobby o'r boring. The guys at the club have a laugh and joke with each other but i just sort of stand there pretending to laugh just so i don't appear aloof.

I'm just so sick of being so shy and being unable to express myself. I try to accept my shyness as being who i am but at times it's impossible not to feel alienated due to it.

 

[ForeverBlue2]

I am the same. It gets frustrating. I used to go to a small gym and the maximum in the class was about 6-8 so it wasn't too bad. Everyone else in the class were quite chatty and outgoing and I was fairly quiet. I would just laugh along aswell to funny things that were said. What used to annoy me the most was that because I was quiet, whenever people were talking in the group, they never looked at me. They looked at all the others and I was just as near to them as the others. It was like I wasn't even there. And then later on when I did try and say something there wasn't much interest or it got brushed over. I think if I had been louder and talkative from the start I would have received a better reception. First impressions do count alot of the time and because I hadn't been talking much previously, they must have judged me in a certain way and didn't bother including me in the conversation. Some days I would walk home and be fuming about how I had been treated because of my social phobia.

 

[newbie]

I am the same. It gets frustrating. I used to go to a small gym and the maximum in the class was about 6-8 so it wasn't too bad. Everyone else in the class were quite chatty and outgoing and I was fairly quiet. I would just laugh along aswell to funny things that were said. What used to annoy me the most was that because I was quiet, whenever people were talking in the group, they never looked at me. They looked at all the others and I was just as near to them as the others. It was like I wasn't even there. And then later on when I did try and say something there wasn't much interest or it got brushed over. I think if I had been louder and talkative from the start I would have received a better reception. First impressions do count alot of the time and because I hadn't been talking much previously, they must have judged me in a certain way and didn't bother including me in the conversation. Some days I would walk home and be fuming about how I had been treated because of my social phobia.

i have been in the exact same situation as you many times, joining the group, everyone is cool about it and you laugh at there jokes but you just seem like an outsider, not fitting it
glad i'm not the only one

 

[aboobooboobooo]

Same here...

 

[licorice]

i have been in the exact same situation as you many times, joining the group, everyone is cool about it and you laugh at there jokes but you just seem like an outsider, not fitting it
glad i'm not the only one

I used to be just like that,the quiet one especially during family gatherings(people youre supposed to feel comfortable around)because I felt inferior,and like I was being judged by some of my arrogant,pompous relatives..The thing is that I didnt see them too often and I wasnt able to open up and feel comfy with them but I noticed if I was around the same people day in and day out my personality was able to come out and I talked and joked around more..I always knew my personality was there lurking underneath just waiting to be unleashed,and now people cant get me to shut up!hah...Do you guys/gals think that its just a question of spending more time around certain people/groups that may facilitate things?

 

[newbie]

yep, staying out, getting to know new people will all boost you in every way, emotionally and personality