Hi, I was curious if I have SP. I have always been shy growing up. I hated finding a seat on the bus going to school in the morning. I was very nervous about it, it was torture. Sometimes I stood there for awhile until someone made room for me. I moved around a lot growing up. As long as I was at a school for awhile and saw the same people every day I had friends. When we moved it was very hard to make new friends. When I graduated I lost all my friends because I quit seeing them everyday. I no longer felt comfortable around them.
I got married at 17. I am now 32 with two young children. I only go places with my husband or my mom. I am too uncomfortable to go anywhere by myself. I hate answering phones and avoid it by running the phone to my husband. I hate having to talk one on one on a phone and the awkward silence. The only people I talk to on the phone are my mom or husband.
I can talk to people if my husband is with me. I am sort of friends with his sister. I have been out with her a couple of times by myself. I always feel uncomfortable the whole time. I feel like I need to talk the whole time to avoid awkward silence. I have trouble deciding where to place my eyes. Usually I make eye contact the whole time while they are talking. I can't just be friends and talk freely without thinking about these things. When I come back I feel so relieved and exhuasted.
I was going to try and force myself to make friends. So I joined a mom meetup group. I felt nervous both times I went. The first time two moms came to the park. One mom was friendly and talkative to me the other was stand offish. So the next time the stand offish one was the group leader and we had a picnic with our familys. I couldn't talk for thirty minutes. Finally someone talked to me and I tried to join in the conversation and sat at the mother table. I probably looked like I pounced on them. Then I just sat there and said nothing. Finally everyone left and my husband and I found our dessert in the trash. I figured they must have hated us. Later I thought maybe there were flys on it. I am always afraid everyone is going to hate me.
So my husband and I went to his friends house the other day. I talked to his friends wife and we have kids the same age. She wanted to come over to our house the next day while our husbands were at work. I was instantly totally nervous about her coming. She texted me that she could not make it and I was relieved. I would love to be friends with her but I just wish I could be normal. Why can't I be normal and have firends that I can talk to freely without feeling uncomfortable. Usually I just sit at home because it is easier than feeling this way. I envy people who have friends and do stuff with them. Why do I have to constantly feel uncormfortable and nervous? Is there any way to get over these feelings?
Thanks,
Julia
I got married at 17. I am now 32 with two young children. I only go places with my husband or my mom. I am too uncomfortable to go anywhere by myself. I hate answering phones and avoid it by running the phone to my husband. I hate having to talk one on one on a phone and the awkward silence. The only people I talk to on the phone are my mom or husband.
I can talk to people if my husband is with me. I am sort of friends with his sister. I have been out with her a couple of times by myself. I always feel uncomfortable the whole time. I feel like I need to talk the whole time to avoid awkward silence. I have trouble deciding where to place my eyes. Usually I make eye contact the whole time while they are talking. I can't just be friends and talk freely without thinking about these things. When I come back I feel so relieved and exhuasted.
I was going to try and force myself to make friends. So I joined a mom meetup group. I felt nervous both times I went. The first time two moms came to the park. One mom was friendly and talkative to me the other was stand offish. So the next time the stand offish one was the group leader and we had a picnic with our familys. I couldn't talk for thirty minutes. Finally someone talked to me and I tried to join in the conversation and sat at the mother table. I probably looked like I pounced on them. Then I just sat there and said nothing. Finally everyone left and my husband and I found our dessert in the trash. I figured they must have hated us. Later I thought maybe there were flys on it. I am always afraid everyone is going to hate me.
So my husband and I went to his friends house the other day. I talked to his friends wife and we have kids the same age. She wanted to come over to our house the next day while our husbands were at work. I was instantly totally nervous about her coming. She texted me that she could not make it and I was relieved. I would love to be friends with her but I just wish I could be normal. Why can't I be normal and have firends that I can talk to freely without feeling uncomfortable. Usually I just sit at home because it is easier than feeling this way. I envy people who have friends and do stuff with them. Why do I have to constantly feel uncormfortable and nervous? Is there any way to get over these feelings?
Thanks,
Julia
welcome to the site. 
