I Felt Completely Humiliated

[Splinter]

Hi,

I used to come here occasionally a couple years ago....

Anyway, what happened today brought me back to this website....I froze in class. The professor asked me a question.....he put so much pressure on me by saying I was about to graduate (implying that I should be able to answer the question in my sleep) and here comes my paralyzing anxiety.

I answered saying I DONT KNOW. He wouldn't accept it...he wanted me to answer saying either yes or no and explain which answer I gave. I couldnt think, all my energy was going toward making sure my mind doesnt break because of all this anxiety.

I simply said 'yes'... he asked me 'why?' and I said 'I don't know' another time to make him stop picking on me.

Naturally, I wondered if people thought I was a joke....they might be thinking I dont deserve to graduate, but I do. It's screwed up because the professor said, in that same class today, that stupid people should not breed...I think that is a very horrible, disgusting statement. Everyone has value, no one is unworthy of breeding!

I have nothing to prove...but I feel humiliated. What it all comes down to is this: I had a depressing moment and I need to share it to people who might understand.

Does anyone else have a story about their minds being blank that they want to share?

 

[Argamemnon]

I couldnt think, all my energy was going toward making sure my mind doesnt break because of all this anxiety.

I'm sorry to hear that. On the other hand, at least you only feel like that under particular circumstances. I always feel like the way you feel even in 'normal' daily situations.

 

[alwmt]

Where to start? I have like a million of them from this semester alone. I swear everyday is filled with embarrassment.

Here's one. I was in class one day two weeks ago and I was having one of those days where I wasn't completely there, mind wise. Well the teacher called on me and I don't know what happened I just got really discombobulated and I couldn't do what he wanted me to do. Everyone turned around to look at me and people were whispering things about me, it was awful. I probably could have figured it out if they hadn't fueled my anxiety by watching me. Ever since then I have tried even harder to hide and keep from getting called on. I really hate that class and I can not wait until I'm through with it. I get terrible anxiety just from thinking about that class.

I definitely sympathize with you. That teacher is a worthless excuse for a human being. He has no just cause for treating you that way. Everyone is important.

 

[Not_a_freak_2008]

Hi...

I so get your story and similar things have happened to me in highschool, uni and at work. But I've been very fortunate that people never pushed me too far. My instant reaction to embarassing situations is for me to go bright red, shake and sweat. I think that generally a pretty big cue for people to stop persuing further questioning. And I've been very lucky where generally, people have not gone any further to make me feel completely humuliated. But having said that... it doesn't stop me from feeling anxious about it and thinking that I have just been completely humuliated.


I can't remember specific situations because there are so many, but I can remember the feelings. When I'm in class, or in a group meeting, I spend most of time thinking about what other people are thinking of me... am I standing the right way, am I sitting funny..or I'll be thinking about a question I want to ask and thinking about all the different ways I could ask it and all the different responses I could get and which way would prevent any embarassment.

If I get to talk on my terms, ie... I am the one putting up my hand to answer the question... I'm Ok- because I've thought about how I'm going to answer it. If i'm asked a question in the middle of thinking about all the things I was just talking about, I have a tendancy to freak out. Firstly because I haven't actually been listening to anything that has been said for about 15mins as I've been off in my own little world. And secondly, because I've already made myself vulnerable already by thinking " i don't want to embarass myself, how do i not embarass myself"


I'm 27 years old and I can pin point the exact moment that started my SA. it happened when I was 7. And it has taken me 20 years to find out that I need to focus more in the now. In meetings and training sessions at work, I force myself to focus on what is being said and really listen and try to understand. And then I find when I'm asked a question, instinct kicks in to give an Ok answer because I haven't over thought it and stress myself out.

Too much info here probably for anyone to really care...hehehe... but it feels good just to get it out there amongst people who understand.

 

[x000x]

Hi,

I used to come here occasionally a couple years ago....

Anyway, what happened today brought me back to this website....I froze in class. The professor asked me a question.....he put so much pressure on me by saying I was about to graduate (implying that I should be able to answer the question in my sleep) and here comes my paralyzing anxiety.

I answered saying I DONT KNOW. He wouldn't accept it...he wanted me to answer saying either yes or no and explain which answer I gave. I couldnt think, all my energy was going toward making sure my mind doesnt break because of all this anxiety.

I simply said 'yes'... he asked me 'why?' and I said 'I don't know' another time to make him stop picking on me.

Naturally, I wondered if people thought I was a joke....they might be thinking I dont deserve to graduate, but I do. It's screwed up because the professor said, in that same class today, that stupid people should not breed...I think that is a very horrible, disgusting statement. Everyone has value, no one is unworthy of breeding!

I have nothing to prove...but I feel humiliated. What it all comes down to is this: I had a depressing moment and I need to share it to people who might understand.

Does anyone else have a story about their minds being blank that they want to share?

wow! That professor sounds like he's a real jerk. Don't feel embarrassed, that stuff happens to me a lot. I'll post about one of my times later.