I feel so Dull

[Richey]

at work i try very hard to keep interested in people, but i find the more i get to know someone i find out they have all these stories and can talk all the time and i fall into these phases of not knowing what to say, literally, having no response at all, or i'll hide my naiveness by just asking questions or talking about tasks to do with work.

there are times where i work with another person regularly and i say barely a few sentences for hours because i try so hard to think, but nothing comes out. other times i work up a little confidence and i can converse more freely.

really the only time i dont feel dull is if ive been drinking, ......so this whole being tongue-tied thing is just no good at parties either, i mean its pointless showing up if you dont have much of a striking personality, and maybe its because most of my family are such characters that i always feel inferior ....

its a real challenge to loosen up around people sometimes i feel.

I just think while in the SA trance it literally effects my memory while around groups, i focus on "what if i say something horrible"

 

[Fighter86]

Asking questions about other people is good. The problem with most people, even as noted by the experts, is that people enjoy talking about themselves too much, never stopping to give others a chance to talk, or even worse, keeps talking although the other person has already stopped listening. So really, asking questions isn't a bad thing at all.


If anything, it gives u added points in the person's perception of you. Firstly, it shows you are interested in what the person has to say, therefore u ask questions. Secondly, people love to talk about themselves, so while u keep them busy talking about themselves, your mind has time to work out what you could say next. Thirdly, I believe people actually like befriending others who are good listeners than people who talk non stop, because you see, if a person wants to talk about himself all the time, how can he find another person who likes to do the same? If the other person talks too much, that person is cutting into his own talk time.


I wish I could give more advice, but this is all I can give so far, I'm not too great with conversations either.