I feel so ashamed from what happened

[Clown]

yesterday I had a few glasses and some cannabis and had bad day
so I was not that stable , then we hung out with friends
and that made point : do you have already work / school
I; im gonna start in few months school again
they: hahaha sure you do

Like I said I was already not a good mood , and couldn't prevent from
crying and all these difficulties I had to go through came suddenly to the surface at that moment.

now my friends think I have some serious trouble , im so ashamed of what happenend ( if I don''t took the alcholol+ cannabis everything would probably be fine)
and then when everyone left, except of 1 friend I told him crying about my difficulties about my anxiety disorder ( not the socialphobia ) just anxiety disorder and thats why I was doing nothing for the last past 3 years.

He was supportive....( his sister has also anxiety disorder) but I feel so ashamed I didn''t want everyone to tell about it and regret it ..... now everyone probably thinks im stuck up with some serious issues

I haven't slept the whole night and just vomitted a hour ago .
It feels my like my life is over now even my friends think im ****ed up

I just don''t want people percieve me different

 

[SilentBird]

Well done for opening up. Even if it took some Dutch-courage. Courage nonetheless. I hope your friends stick by you for being you.

 

[Clown]

I had not the courage for opening up to the 1 friend left, everyone else was already left.
I just was to emotional couldn''t think clearly, so its just popped it out
I regret it

 

[Kinetik]

Sadly, we still live in a world where showing emotion in that sort of context is often laughed at. I learned that the hard way back in my teens, so as of the last decade I keep my own counsel. If I absolutely have to tell someone what I'm feeling, I keep it within my family, because at least I know they'll be unconditionally supportive.

I think people are often caught between wanting to let their guard down completely and maintaining an act whereby they come off as cool, calm and in full control. It's a delicate balance, and sometimes we upset that balance and feel embarrassed. That's very common, and not just among people with anxiety. I think you should try to find someone to talk to, so that you can process your feelings in a healthy way while keeping enough dignity during the times you have to be sociable. By budgeting in some mental health time, you can avoid it spilling out into all other areas of your life.

 

[Clown]

but this cringe moment was to personal.
Like I said the friends there had no clue , they just think it was there fault.
but just 1 friend I told about the anxiety problem .. I can''t stop
think about how I can be such a fool to tell him ... this will probably hunt me
for a couple of weeks I hope not longer

 

[sullyS25]

I dont know man I recall trying to warn you that alcohol and drugs lead to shame and feeling worse than you would without them. Im sorry to hear what happened and I know how bad these things feel. I can guarantee this will continue drinking and drugging in excess

 

[Clown]

sullyS25 thnx you were right after all lol
I will never use alcholol again when there is not a party..
the shame and guilt you feel after saying stupid things from being half drunk is the worst.

 

[sullyS25]

hahaha alright man well good luck with that. I hope you feel better

 

[coyote]

i've done some very stupid things while i was really drunk

that alone is good enough reason for me not to get that intoxicated

i still drink in moderation, but i don't over do it anymore

the aftermath is just not worth it