BreakingFree
Well-known member
I have always avoided going to family weddings, baptisms, get togethers, parties etc, until a death in my family. Suddenly I realised how much I have missed of their lives. The family expended with second cousins, whose names I always forget and who I will have difficulty recognising in public places. My uncles, aunts have grown old, cannot climb stairs comfortably anymore and it saddens me to know I never ever had a conversation with them, just to enquire about their health or what is happening in their lives, etc (and I still don't).
When going for the funeral I had no idea where my cousin who passed lived, nor have I ever set foot in her house before then. I felt so ashamed, could I not at least have tried to come visit or called, both which will be very difficult for me as a SP! I have to make conversation and its one of our weaknesses. It will be so embarrassing not having anything to say! My visits to the hospital was kept at the bare minimum and I never called her once she was released from hospital. The next we new she was re -admitted to hospital and seriously ill. I mustered up the courage to go to the hospital by myself and kept the visit short. I am so glad I did for she died the same week. At least I have seen her not to long before she passed. If I did not do that, how much guilt and shame I would have carried today!
After the burial, I could not wait to get home and run away from all the people. Before that, I kept myself company and I am sure the family wondered does she not having anything to say to us!
Despite the rude awakening experience I still go on my merry way of avoiding the family, but I will try harder to go and visit the ones who means and meant so much in my live. I will have to bite the bullet sometime and even though its going to be so embarrassing not knowing how to make conversation, at least I am paying my dues to those who were there when I was growing up! I better hurry, before its too late yet again!
When going for the funeral I had no idea where my cousin who passed lived, nor have I ever set foot in her house before then. I felt so ashamed, could I not at least have tried to come visit or called, both which will be very difficult for me as a SP! I have to make conversation and its one of our weaknesses. It will be so embarrassing not having anything to say! My visits to the hospital was kept at the bare minimum and I never called her once she was released from hospital. The next we new she was re -admitted to hospital and seriously ill. I mustered up the courage to go to the hospital by myself and kept the visit short. I am so glad I did for she died the same week. At least I have seen her not to long before she passed. If I did not do that, how much guilt and shame I would have carried today!
After the burial, I could not wait to get home and run away from all the people. Before that, I kept myself company and I am sure the family wondered does she not having anything to say to us!
Despite the rude awakening experience I still go on my merry way of avoiding the family, but I will try harder to go and visit the ones who means and meant so much in my live. I will have to bite the bullet sometime and even though its going to be so embarrassing not knowing how to make conversation, at least I am paying my dues to those who were there when I was growing up! I better hurry, before its too late yet again!