Can someone please help me. I think I might have social anxiety, but I'm not sure. Let me try to explain certain situations. I have broken it down myself into steps.
Step one is walking outside my house, period. As soon as I step out of my house, the hurt inside me comes, but not that much.
Step two is going into a store. When walking around a store, I feel so much pain in my body. I can't describe it. I want to say it's like stage frieght, and in a way it is, but there's more to it than that. Stage freight, to me, just feels like "butterflies" in the stomach, but what I feel is that, plus more. My heart rate increases, and I feel stiff like a board.
Step three is going to my college. I'm 18 and new to college. I only have three classes for two days a week. School environments are just the worst thing for me. As I get out of my vehicle, and start walking towards the buildings, it starts. My heart starts beating fast; I feel hot, but I never sweat; I feel like everyone is staring at me, and it makes me act stiff and behave in a "stilted" manner. Once I enter the building(s), it increases, probably because I'm closer to people being in a building. Then it gets worse. Once I enter a hallway where I pass people, soemtimes I feel like I'm controlling my own breathing.
Okay, now for THE WORST situation: entering the classroom. Not only is walking into a classroom with other students who are already seated a horrible experience for me, but finding my seat and ending up in the front row is just awful. My heart doesn't stop beating rapidly for the whole class if I end up in the front. My head feels hot at times. I can't explain, it's like, it feels like my head is hot, yet it feels like the blood isn't getting to my head, like low blood pressure or something.
Another WORST situation is sitting next to this girl, not even in the front row, but well, she's in another one of my classes too, and we don't really talk, I mean, who have talked before, but not much. I'm a horrible talker. I think I talk quiet. And I think I ask "What?" a lot. I think I have trouble hearing words clearly from other people. Well, anyways, we have talked before. Sometimes she reads the teacher's "quote of the day" on the board with me, like quietly next to me, and we laugh, because we never understand them fully. Though I don't laugh out loud, really, I more or less sniff rather than laugh, but IT IS funny inside, it really is. I guess I'm not good at expressing how I feel to people.
All of the symptoms I said before come into play when I'm around girls. Don't get me wrong, I love girls sooo much. I think I'm experiencing unrequited love and/or love-shyness, two things I read about on the internet. I experience a lot of the symptoms of those. I think all of this stems from those. Possibly the way I look too, because I'm really skinny. That could be the root of my problem, both being skinny and feeling the need to find a "mate". I also obsess over the way I look. I try so hard to make myself look good, but then I always see something that isn't right. Having glasses is just so bad, but I don't think I could bear wearing contact lenses. I classify myself as ugly.
I typed a lot...I'll have you know this is my second account. I didn't post much in my last account either, but I just felt like making a new account.
I know there is soemthing wrong with me...
Step one is walking outside my house, period. As soon as I step out of my house, the hurt inside me comes, but not that much.
Step two is going into a store. When walking around a store, I feel so much pain in my body. I can't describe it. I want to say it's like stage frieght, and in a way it is, but there's more to it than that. Stage freight, to me, just feels like "butterflies" in the stomach, but what I feel is that, plus more. My heart rate increases, and I feel stiff like a board.
Step three is going to my college. I'm 18 and new to college. I only have three classes for two days a week. School environments are just the worst thing for me. As I get out of my vehicle, and start walking towards the buildings, it starts. My heart starts beating fast; I feel hot, but I never sweat; I feel like everyone is staring at me, and it makes me act stiff and behave in a "stilted" manner. Once I enter the building(s), it increases, probably because I'm closer to people being in a building. Then it gets worse. Once I enter a hallway where I pass people, soemtimes I feel like I'm controlling my own breathing.
Okay, now for THE WORST situation: entering the classroom. Not only is walking into a classroom with other students who are already seated a horrible experience for me, but finding my seat and ending up in the front row is just awful. My heart doesn't stop beating rapidly for the whole class if I end up in the front. My head feels hot at times. I can't explain, it's like, it feels like my head is hot, yet it feels like the blood isn't getting to my head, like low blood pressure or something.
Another WORST situation is sitting next to this girl, not even in the front row, but well, she's in another one of my classes too, and we don't really talk, I mean, who have talked before, but not much. I'm a horrible talker. I think I talk quiet. And I think I ask "What?" a lot. I think I have trouble hearing words clearly from other people. Well, anyways, we have talked before. Sometimes she reads the teacher's "quote of the day" on the board with me, like quietly next to me, and we laugh, because we never understand them fully. Though I don't laugh out loud, really, I more or less sniff rather than laugh, but IT IS funny inside, it really is. I guess I'm not good at expressing how I feel to people.
All of the symptoms I said before come into play when I'm around girls. Don't get me wrong, I love girls sooo much. I think I'm experiencing unrequited love and/or love-shyness, two things I read about on the internet. I experience a lot of the symptoms of those. I think all of this stems from those. Possibly the way I look too, because I'm really skinny. That could be the root of my problem, both being skinny and feeling the need to find a "mate". I also obsess over the way I look. I try so hard to make myself look good, but then I always see something that isn't right. Having glasses is just so bad, but I don't think I could bear wearing contact lenses. I classify myself as ugly.
I typed a lot...I'll have you know this is my second account. I didn't post much in my last account either, but I just felt like making a new account.
I know there is soemthing wrong with me...
