I fear that what I want doesn't actually exist? Anyone else feel like this?

[SadSally]

I have goals but deep down I know I'll never be happy. I know that no matter how much therapy or medication I have, I'll always have some sort of social anxiety. Even if I achieve my goals I will still feel empty and anxious. I can never go back in and relive all those years I missed. I'll never have fun teenager memories. It's hard to explain what I mean, because I'm not even sure about what I want.
Does anybody else feel like they are chasing something that they know doesn't exist and will never have?:question:

 

[lilmutegirl]

I understand. When I was younger, I concluded that I could never be happy because I hinged my happiness on the past, as though the fact that I wasn't happy in the past, it could never happen. While it's true that you can't change what has (or hasn't) happened, you can control the present and future.
I also get the feeling about having anxiety even after achieving goals. I have often worried that I will never be satisfied with what I have accomplished, but every so often, I find something to celebrate, and it feels wonderful.
Don't give up on being happy, otherwise it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Sacrament]

There's no other way but to start now, otherwise you wasted your teenage years and now you're wasting today by focusing on what you've lost.

 

[PugofCrydee]

acknowledge the past, but dont let it control your future.
you cant move forward if you're always looking back.

I don't think I'll ever be totally free of SA, but I know I have made good progress in getting better. You can too