TheNewZero
Well-known member
Tonight my mom told everyone at dinner that she was closing her practice (she's a physician) because she doesn't make enough money. She said that she was feeling really bad about it and had to tell us how she was feeling. None of my brothers or sisters said anything to her, and they all just changed the topic. Including me. Later that night she told my brother who was sitting next to her that she had to go to her psychiatrist yesterday because she was thinking about walking into traffic and killing herself. None of my sisters heard her, and I pretended not to. Later I was alone in the kitchen getting ready to take my dog out and she came up to me and said that she was serious about feeling bad, and that she wanted something more from us than just jokes and for us to be serious about it. All I did was smile and say I was being serious! When I came back she was in the kitchen sobbing.
I know that I was being a jerk to her, but I don't know what to do. I was thinking to myself when she was talking to me that I should hug her and say something nice but I couldn't. I hate being serious with people, it's one of those things that I get really nervous about. My mom was a really bad mom to me when I was little and used to hit me a lot. She's a lot better now, but I'm still scared of her and was never able to talk to her. I think that I subconsciously resent her for how she treated me when I was little because I rarely feel bad for her. She complains so much about her life and all I can feel is anger that she brings us into it, and most of the time I think she's making it up to get sympathy from us. I just don't know what to do. I mean, she thought about killing herself today. That's a huge deal, and I feel so helpless about it. She's been in therapy for years now and me and my sisters think she has Bipolar, but it seems like both her therapist and her psychiatrist don't do anything for her. I just wish I could tell her that I'm there for her.
Well, sorry for the long post I just needed to vent a little.
I know that I was being a jerk to her, but I don't know what to do. I was thinking to myself when she was talking to me that I should hug her and say something nice but I couldn't. I hate being serious with people, it's one of those things that I get really nervous about. My mom was a really bad mom to me when I was little and used to hit me a lot. She's a lot better now, but I'm still scared of her and was never able to talk to her. I think that I subconsciously resent her for how she treated me when I was little because I rarely feel bad for her. She complains so much about her life and all I can feel is anger that she brings us into it, and most of the time I think she's making it up to get sympathy from us. I just don't know what to do. I mean, she thought about killing herself today. That's a huge deal, and I feel so helpless about it. She's been in therapy for years now and me and my sisters think she has Bipolar, but it seems like both her therapist and her psychiatrist don't do anything for her. I just wish I could tell her that I'm there for her.
Well, sorry for the long post I just needed to vent a little.