i cant believe i ran away...

[ShaNeaNea19]

today at school this guy that i met said after class hey come on. so i walked with him..and hes like so miss social anxiety....then he said sumthign but anyways....i got kinda mad when he said that...but after we started walking back inside and he said so miss social anxiety talk. so i said about wat??...then he said i dunno anything just talk... before on aim he said he could help me not have SA anymore just by hanging with him and of course i know thats not really true..lol...but yea so after we were isnide and he was infront of me talking to sumone..so i just left.....and went to my locker..then the bathroom....then i was gunna go upstairs but i didnt wanna run into him...then i saw him and turned back around....so yea i tried avoiding him..i feel bad and i feel weak i dunno why...hes like talkative, outgoing, is in drama..so hes just not my type of friend that id like to ahve...he just doesnt understand he thinks it's stupid that im afraid to talk to ppl and thinsk its so easy jsut cause he can do it.. :|

 

[Emma]

Some people just don't understand :?

 

[ShaNeaNea19]

Some people just don't understand :?

yea probably cause they really dont know anything about it...i mean i didnt even know until i looked up shyness on the web a week ago...

 

[SouthernBelle]

the guy is going about it the wrong way.... if he keeps making you feel uncomfortable, of course you are going to avoid him! he should be subtle, not keep saying 'hey miss SA, talk' he is putting you on the spot which isnt going to help you!
xx

 

[pjam76]

problem is...

Too many people with SA expect everybody else to treat them differently.

I think that's the wrong message.. Yeah it's tough with SA and being in public and holding conversations and making lots of friends, but at the end of the day, if people have to walk on eggshells for you, it will only make it a lot worse.

Some people are rude, but most people just don't understand how SA works or what it really is..

Then again, many people suffer from whatever ailments they may have, yet most people aren't walking on eggshells for them.

I think, regardless of what people have, you shouldn't want to be treated any differently than anybody else.

I once knew a kid who had no arms in HS.........He played soccer, he drove a car his senior year and he had tons of friends..... He never wanted anybody treating him different.................

While his situation is different than SA, the fact is, even though SA is what it is, things will only get worse if we expect others to treat us in some kind of special way.

If this kid treats all his friends like this, then either you can't be his friend or you have to expect that's how he acts.

On the other hand, if he treats his friends in a different way and is just rude to you, then you shouldn't be friends with him either.

But don't expect people to walk on eggshells for you, it's really not the right mindset at all.

 

[styrka]

I once had a guy friend who was trying to help me with me fears, he wanted to help me with my phone phobia. but he was a good friend and he was nice about it. he wasn't just some dude who walked up to me one day and said 'hey miss social anxiety'...... I think I would feel very uncomfortable if someone would put me on the spot like that. hopefully he's just trying to be nice and really help you. but I understand why you avoid him.

 

[Snowcrash]

Re: problem is...

PJAM - I think you made a lot of good points there about who it is wise to be friends with and not expecting others to treat you differently.

I think maybe one of the things that is hard for some of us though is the idea that we are simply making things up. Like the guy in the initial post, ok, he is just a random high school guy, and here he goes around telling our friend that he can "fix" her. He wouldn't have said that to the guy from your school who had no arms. Obviously he had a "real" problem, whereas SA is all in our head right?

It is one of the problems of sharing with another person that you feel you have SA. That person is going to react. They can either say:

1) Gee, wow, I don't know anything about that, tell me more.
2) Gee, wow, I know just what you mean, I have that too.
3) Yeah, I have heard about that, do you want to talk about it?
4) Um, yeah, whatever, well just stop feeling that way and get over it.
5) Won't that go away if you take a vitamin, get more exercise, hang out with extroverts, eat more, eat less, etc etc....
6) Man, you're crazy, is that contagious?

I don't know, I suppose there are more reactions. But I think these cover a lot of general categories. But basically with mental health issues you find people who are either sympathetic or who try and minimize it or deny it.

Maybe I am just rambling.

But another example I remember was this girl who was pretty and smart (really smart) but must have had some serious SA. Her parents weren't happy about this. They were sort of domineering parents. They wanted to "fix" her SA. Their plan for this was to make sure that every teacher called on her in class everyday whether she volunteered or not. They figured that after being forced to participate like this after awhile she'd get over it. The whole ordeal just made school miserable for her. I hate when I see that happening because it is just other people deciding that you have a stupid problem with an easy solution that you just choose not to do on your own. But again, this sort of agrees with the idea that we shouldn't expect other people to treat us differently, doing things that make us either extra comfortable or extra uncomforatble. Neither are likely to be very helpful.

Yeah, I am definetelyl rambling...

I need a nap.

*edits typos*