I actually believe I have this...

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
There was that thread on schizophrenia a little bit ago, and I actually believe I have this. Well, maybe because a pysch did think I had something along those lines (I sort of convinced him of it). And I was prescribed GEODON, mainly for the negative symptoms.

Things like disorganized speech (I have been having alot of problems organizing the way I talk) have been getting worse. I've had mild hallucinations in the form of colored dots appearing out of nowhere in my vision. I've had a lot of problems with "working memory," which is pretty common with that disorder (and some paranonia).

Aside from that, I have a lot of strange thoughts...and, I'm pretty sure there is something wrong with me b/c my pysch pretty much confirmed it, even though he thought it was mild (but it has gotten worse since then).

So, this pretty much validates my SA then. If anyone here has this, or has a relative that has this, any insight would be appreciated.
 

VioletTears

Well-known member
Hi. I totally relate.

My brother has full blown paranoid schizophrenia. He's currently on Clozaril and it has been a miracle drug for him so he's doing fairly okay, but still can't work and needs some help managing his life. I remember what he used to be like, though... and schizophrenia has always been a fear of mine.

I'm strongly convinced that I have something called schizotaxia (still really a concept more than a diagnosis) and I'm affraid that this might mark the begining of my fall... I don't know. I am really paranoid that I’m going crazy… I have been EXTREMELY anxious and depressed for about the past year with no strong triggers... Little stresses just send me totally off the deep end. My current therapist thinks it’s unlikely that I will because she thinks something would have already set it off, but I also haven’t told her everything.

Sometimes I have seen brief lights/shadows out of the corner of my eye… Sometimes the shadows have looked human… Then I have quickly looked back and they were gone… Last week I was in a meeting. My supervisor was saying something and as I looked away I thought I saw her pointing at me and shaking her finger, as if to reprimand me, but when I looked up at her I realized that this couldn’t have happened. I have also thought that I heard muffled music in the fans lately… But my husband told me this can be normal… Also, maybe a month ago I went to the drive through to get a drink. I thought that it tasted a bit bitter and the thought occurred to me that it might have been poisoned. I knew that was crazy but for some reason I still decided that I better not drink it, just in case, and I didn't. Now looking back I realize how stupid that was and I wish I had drank it because it's like I just proved to myself that I'm nuts:p


When I talk it also comes out all jumbled. It used to only be if I was nervous but now it's even when I'm not... I have a horrible time concentrating on anything, including what I'm talking about. Even my hygine has slipped although I DO make an effort to pull myself together when I go out because I don't want people to thing lowly of me.

I have never heasrd of geodon but I'll definitely look it up. Do you feel that it helps?
 

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
VioletTears said:
Hi. I totally relate.

My brother has full blown paranoid schizophrenia. He's currently on Clozaril and it has been a miracle drug for him so he's doing fairly okay, but still can't work and needs some help managing his life. I remember what he used to be like, though... and schizophrenia has always been a fear of mine.

I'm strongly convinced that I have something called schizotaxia (still really a concept more than a diagnosis) and I'm affraid that this might mark the begining of my fall... I don't know. I am really paranoid that I’m going crazy… I have been EXTREMELY anxious and depressed for about the past year with no strong triggers... Little stresses just send me totally off the deep end. My current therapist thinks it’s unlikely that I will because she thinks something would have already set it off, but I also haven’t told her everything.

Sometimes I have seen brief lights/shadows out of the corner of my eye… Sometimes the shadows have looked human… Then I have quickly looked back and they were gone… Last week I was in a meeting. My supervisor was saying something and as I looked away I thought I saw her pointing at me and shaking her finger, as if to reprimand me, but when I looked up at her I realized that this couldn’t have happened. I have also thought that I heard muffled music in the fans lately… But my husband told me this can be normal… Also, maybe a month ago I went to the drive through to get a drink. I thought that it tasted a bit bitter and the thought occurred to me that it might have been poisoned. I knew that was crazy but for some reason I still decided that I better not drink it, just in case, and I didn't. Now looking back I realize how stupid that was and I wish I had drank it because it's like I just proved to myself that I'm nuts:p


When I talk it also comes out all jumbled. It used to only be if I was nervous but now it's even when I'm not... I have a horrible time concentrating on anything, including what I'm talking about. Even my hygine has slipped although I DO make an effort to pull myself together when I go out because I don't want people to thing lowly of me.

I have never heasrd of geodon but I'll definitely look it up. Do you feel that it helps?

Thanks for the advice, VioletTears. I found the Geodon did help, but I'm not on it now. But I really don't think it made me more outgoing, maybe I needed to give it time to work.

Most people don't get this kinda thing, that's why my anxiety is so bad.
 
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