how to start getting help

[scareddd]

skip down to next paragraph if you don't want to read. last semester, i was starting pharmacy school. i stopped coming to classes and was failing. i panicked and started to see a school counselor who told me i could petition for a leave of absence, and restart pharmacy school next year. i did, and they granted me permission but i was required to fill out application to enter pharmacy school again. i didn't know why and it made me scared. getting accepted into pharmacy school was really stressful and it seemed like i'd have to do it again Dx. months passed and i didn't touch the application. my counselor and i always scheduled an appointment a week after, but i kept skipping them. i came in recently and he told me since i hadn't turned in that application i wasn't really a student anymore and as sorry as he is he can't help me anymore. he referred me to some other place and gave me the number. i called and left a message. she called back and asked me what i wanted. i didn't know how to reply, i said i wanted counseling. she told me they were accepting new counseling but gave me a number for a diff place. it made me feel so rejected. in the past year, i haven't been to school, had a job, or hardly left the house. i want to move on from this but idk how. in the few counseling sessions i did attend, i ended up sobbing as soon as we started to discuss the things that bother me so we never get anywhere. i felt like assessment took so long, which i know is bc i stop showing up for months. he never gave me a straight diagnosis. thought it's clear to me it's depression, i'm not confident enough to claim it when seeking help bc i wasn't really diagnosed. when i started the semester last fall, i had $9000 in loans and was supposed to get a loan for the other $9000 i owed. now that i'm not in school anymore, i'm afraid they're going to start asking me to pay that back. i don't even know what to do w/ the other half. they send me late bills every month. i get a panic attack every mail i get or a call from an unknown number and i just can't deal. i guess i've just been going on and on -_-. there's so much i want to say outloud sometimes to help me face it but to afraid to tell a real person nor do i want to keep it to myself.

ok if you didn't want to read that block of text, if you know you're depressed and you don't have money or insurance, how do you seek help?

 

[IDKwhatIwant]

same issue, no solution. :?
hope someone knows lol

 

[sketchy24]

Ask a relative to help. Unfortunately that's easier said than done. I actually brought it up to my mom ONCE but I don't think she took it very serious because, well I never show it and I guess she just thought I was going through a phase. Not like I really explained much to her. Just that I wanted some help.

But if you can manage to ball it up to a relative who you think can help you, no matter how stupid you feel, just make it through and I dunno, you don't know what can happen.

I've never done this... for depression at least. Like I said easier said then done. I'm thinking of just typing up an email where I can say everything I want without fear of being judged and just send it to someone I know I can trust to help me find help. I may stupid afterwards but whats done is done and a year from now, you may be a lot better off.

That's how I managed to get a job except I went in person and I really can't make myself do it again. I wouldn't even have the job I have now if it wasn't for me just becoming sooo frustrated with myself and where I was at. My aunt happened to be at the store down the block so I just walked down and told her some stuff that was up and how I REALLY needed a job and to get out of the house etc. I have to say I felt like the biggest ass on the planet and I never felt more uncomfortable the entire time. But she helped me get a job at least and the pay is great. Even though I really hate the job, I've been there almost two years and still don't have any real friends or talk much, I do realize how blessed I am to actually have it. I can't imagine my emotional state if I was still without a job. That was seriously one of the hardest things for me to do. But I've been able to save up over 40 thousand dollars so far so hopefully, when I do get through all this, I'll have a very nice savings and have a little bit of fun for once.