How to learn to love myself?

EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
I've hated myself all my life, even subconsciously when I thought I had changed, even during these gaps where It appeared as if i've beaten my SA.

I still feel like the scum of the earth. Positive affirmations never did much for me...How do you make yourself worthy? How do you make yourself feel like you deserve anything? Has anybody imrpoved any self esteem issues? How how how?

I'll be honest, even now i'm hating myself for posting something selfish and "negative".
 
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guessed

1
I've been wondering the same thing a lot myself. I've googled variations of the phrase and looked for tips. Usually it's all the same cliched advice, but in a nutshell, it seems to be that we're supposed to give ourselves what we wish we'd get from others.

So we have to give ourselves approval, validation, and support. I'm not exactly sure how to do that, since it feels so foreign, but I found some links I can pass along if you're interested.
 
unleashed

unleashed

Well-known member
what i wonder is why i get so upset when someone says something horrible about me when i hate myself anyway? :confused: but how to love ourselves more..i dunno...seeing your positive traits and remembering to be grateful occasionaly..perspective helps..lets face it youre not the scum of the earth, you havent gone into a baby hospital and shot 100 babies or put poison in a city's water supply..i certainly know how self-loathing feels..eugh see i hate myself for typing ''i certainly know..'' eugh *stops typing*
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
You can't do anything about it. If you push yourself into loving yourself, it will cause the exaqct opposite. I would say just leave it and don't concentrate on it or on yourself too much, just do the things you need to do.
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
your not scum of the earth , thats me lol :D ...... joking apart hmmmmmm dunno really maybe try to get involved with some charity organization , it might make you feel good about yourself , i do a lot for the wspa ... its better than just being board silly all the time , or maybes some organization were you help old people out .... trust me its a nice feeling when you help people out , gives you a warm inner glow ;) ......or maybes im just trying to buy my way into heavan :confused: shhhhh dont tell the man upstairs ......
 
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G

guessed

1
mrb,

I've enjoyed your upbeat posts in a few threads. It seems like you've gotten over most of your insecurity and either beaten SA or found a way to become more confident. If this is the case, can you let me in on what you did or didn't do to get to that point?
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
guessed said:
mrb,

I've enjoyed your upbeat posts in a few threads. It seems like you've gotten over most of your insecurity and either beaten SA or found a way to become more confident. If this is the case, can you let me in on what you did or didn't do to get to that point?
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guess iv just got more chilled out the older iv got :confused: i mean whats the point of worring 24/7 were does it get you , the only person your screwing up is yourself :confused: ... like worring over not having a gf , so what your not going to die cos you aint got a gf are you :confused: ...im 46 this year and iv seen a lot of horrible things in my life , freinds getting cancer and passing away ect ect .. just made me realise you should just try to make the best of what you have got , if your healthy your lucky ... guess iv just chilled lol like a fine wine, ok i lied a cheap wine for 2.99 at tescos :D hope that helped lol
 
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Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
guessed said:
what i wonder is why i get so upset when someone says something horrible about me when i hate myself anyway?
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that's a really good question.
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I think it's because some of what people hate about themselves is really self deprecation. Somewhere deep down, they know or hope they're not as worthless, unattractive or horrible as they tell themselves they are. But when someone else says those things about you it hurts, because when other people say those sorts of things they usually mean it. After all, if you really truly believe you are a horrible person, then someone else saying it just confirms what you already know to be true. But if you're really hoping that you're not all that bad, then their words make you question whether it really might be true.
 
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AntonioJohn

Member
I would like to know an answer too.. I am good looking, intelligent and have "friends" but there is no way I can love and accept myself in a stable way. I am actually my worst enemy at the moment :(

One thing that is helping in some way is just staying sober even at weekends.. alcohol is just a short term solution that in the long term gets things definitively worse.
 
dean01

dean01

Well-known member
i had the same problem, where i thought i was scum, i kept thinking about karma, if you do good things, then good things happen, like mrb said maybe do some charity work or me personally i like to smile at people walking down the road and say morning or afternoon, i was a bit picky about who i smiled at when i started but after a while alot of people smiled back and said hello. i soon relised that people dont think im scum, and trust me ive done some bad things in my youth to make me think i was, i hope you find a way to overcome this. :)
 
Mythos & Logos

Mythos & Logos

Active member
I struggle with this too, I don't hate myself I just don't have any confidence in myself & that's hugely detrimental to everything in my life. I'd like to find a way to feel good about myself through the thick & thin of my personal issues
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
Mythos & Logos said:
I struggle with this too, I don't hate myself I just don't have any confidence in myself & that's hugely detrimental to everything in my life. I'd like to find a way to feel good about myself through the thick & thin of my personal issues
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yep. that sums it up for me, too
 
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