How to handle rejection?

[Nina09]

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[Banvard]

I understand that everyone gets rejected now and then, it's a part of life. Sometimes people are busy, have things on their mind, or sometimes " he's just not that into you."

But, how do you keep from taking rejection personally when it keeps happening?

I wonder what I'm saying or doing wrong that makes people reject me after the first or second interaction.

Has this happened to anyone else?

I’ve neither been accepted nor rejected. I’ve never had the guts to ask anyone. I’m sure you’ll find somebody soon if your persistent. Takes a lot of courage to walk up and make the first move.

 

[no1]

unfortunately.. this can be a killer.

 

[Anubis]

One of my friends told me that he views humiliation/rejection as purifying. Because to be "rejected" by such triviality (after only a few interactions) is so comical that being accepted by the same triviality would be even more humiliating. In other words, if you are rejected by such immaturity, then you should be ecstatic that you weren't given the opportunity to be embraced by that very person (who is immature and could potentially drain you with such behavior).

It's an interesting perspective, lol. Something to think about at least.

 

[no1]

One of my friends told me that he views humiliation/rejection as purifying. Because to be "rejected" by such triviality (after only a few interactions) is so comical that being accepted by the same triviality would be even more humiliating. In other words, if you are rejected by such immaturity, then you should be ecstatic that you weren't given the opportunity to be embraced by that very person (who is immature and could potentially drain you with such behavior).

It's an interesting perspective, lol. Something to think about at least.

sometimes that immaturity can be attributed to yourself. ie, it's not just the person who rejected you who's at fault, but also yours, and perhaps the whole society.. (inclusive of yourself of course.)

 

[no1]

It's ironic how some people complain about always getting rejected, yet turn around and reject someone who makes the attempt to reach out.

yes. sometimes you don't even know what you do. in my case... I'd have to think deeper to think about that perhaps I am judging a book by its cover when I choose not to talk to someone because I feel they may reject me. That might also be undermining them.

 

[Keys]

You can't shortcut around rejection. Taking rejection personally goes hand in hand with "approach anxiety" The only way around rejection is to understand some basic principles

1. This person you will never see again
2. It happens to even the best
3. Its nothing you did personally to get rejected

just because it happens all the time doesn't mean it'll happen EVERY time. Trying to understand why your getting rejected is a practice in insanity.

-Keys

 

[Anubis]

sometimes that immaturity can be attributed to yourself. ie, it's not just the person who rejected you who's at fault, but also yours, and perhaps the whole society.. (inclusive of yourself of course.)

I think so too. Most of us don't like to think of it that way though because it hurts. Certainly, we do experience a lot of immaturity-laden rejection from the people around us. But to let that rejection seep into your soul and drain your humanity is also a sign of immaturity.

Fortunately, it's something that can be improved. It just takes time. I'm currently in the process of doing just that.