ticklishfatman1
Member
Hi.
Ok so I've been living with this disorder for almost two years now. See I took this psychedelic and ever since I can't be around ANYONE without my subconscious screaming that there's a threat. But I know that this was creeping up on me my whole life. It just got to the tipping point and went overboard. Now, I shake and my heart races, I sweat and even embarrassingly twitch. This happens even in the simplest of situations like a classroom or movie theater. It's a surreal experience.
The entirety of last summer I thought I gave myself schizophrenia due to my weed abuse and since I have an immediate family member who's bipolar. But now I recognize that I have depersonalization disorder and an awful case of social anxiety disorder. And idk what the **** to do lol. I've never had a girlfriend, dropped out of school, and am even too afraid to get a job. God what the hell happened.
I feel like every passing day my youth is draining before my very eyes, and I can never get it back. The worst thought is that I'll grow old and never be able to overcome my fear of people. Never get married, do what I love, or have a moment of happiness. That from here on out, this is it. This is my life. And there's nothing I can do about it. I turn 22 soon and see nothing but a cliff every step I take.
The thing keeping me going is that I still have this dream of being a filmmaker and will do anything to make that happen. So I am going to tackle this thing head on and will overcome it or die trying. It has taken over my life completely, where before I could justify my shyness to myself. Now I can't even hang out with my friends or family because I know my mind will just go haywire with dreadful anxiety no matter what.
I read about a lot of other people struggling with this on here, and while this makes me feel like I'm not alone, it's also tragic that so many people suffer from SAD. The bad part is that some people think there's no possible way they can ever get better. I don't believe that. I just refuse to.
Here's my idea, I am going to make a documentary with the camera I have on everything that you can possibly do to lighten the load of SA. I hope that making a video of someone struggling through this can help others face it too. I will post updates on this board until it's finished.
But I can't do it alone I really need help here! If you can I'd like you to list every single thing you can think of, that you've done or would like to, that could possibly reprogram those unconscious signals that make us afraid just to be around people. Then I will do them on video to test out possible remedies. I can approach random people and film it, whatever you'd suggest.
I don't want medication right now though, I'd rather do it au natural and see if that works. But If anyone has suggestions for psychedelic drugs that would help I'd gladly accept that and film the trip.
Ok so I've been living with this disorder for almost two years now. See I took this psychedelic and ever since I can't be around ANYONE without my subconscious screaming that there's a threat. But I know that this was creeping up on me my whole life. It just got to the tipping point and went overboard. Now, I shake and my heart races, I sweat and even embarrassingly twitch. This happens even in the simplest of situations like a classroom or movie theater. It's a surreal experience.
The entirety of last summer I thought I gave myself schizophrenia due to my weed abuse and since I have an immediate family member who's bipolar. But now I recognize that I have depersonalization disorder and an awful case of social anxiety disorder. And idk what the **** to do lol. I've never had a girlfriend, dropped out of school, and am even too afraid to get a job. God what the hell happened.
I feel like every passing day my youth is draining before my very eyes, and I can never get it back. The worst thought is that I'll grow old and never be able to overcome my fear of people. Never get married, do what I love, or have a moment of happiness. That from here on out, this is it. This is my life. And there's nothing I can do about it. I turn 22 soon and see nothing but a cliff every step I take.
The thing keeping me going is that I still have this dream of being a filmmaker and will do anything to make that happen. So I am going to tackle this thing head on and will overcome it or die trying. It has taken over my life completely, where before I could justify my shyness to myself. Now I can't even hang out with my friends or family because I know my mind will just go haywire with dreadful anxiety no matter what.
I read about a lot of other people struggling with this on here, and while this makes me feel like I'm not alone, it's also tragic that so many people suffer from SAD. The bad part is that some people think there's no possible way they can ever get better. I don't believe that. I just refuse to.
Here's my idea, I am going to make a documentary with the camera I have on everything that you can possibly do to lighten the load of SA. I hope that making a video of someone struggling through this can help others face it too. I will post updates on this board until it's finished.
But I can't do it alone I really need help here! If you can I'd like you to list every single thing you can think of, that you've done or would like to, that could possibly reprogram those unconscious signals that make us afraid just to be around people. Then I will do them on video to test out possible remedies. I can approach random people and film it, whatever you'd suggest.
I don't want medication right now though, I'd rather do it au natural and see if that works. But If anyone has suggestions for psychedelic drugs that would help I'd gladly accept that and film the trip.
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