How to find out what the opposite sex thinks

[Jura]

I'm new, so I might've picked the wrong subforum to post this in, but anyway:
How do you know if a person is attracted to you or not? They often say things like pointing their feet at you, leaning forward, mirroring etc. But nearly all girls do that with me. The few that do not I subconciously perceive as rude and stuck up, I've noticed. So I think the "signals" are just a part of being polite. So how do I really know what they think?

 

[Caseums21]

I can tell a few ways of how a guy likes a girl or vice versa.

The body language is a whole way to tell. Just like how you said.

Eye contact is another way. If they look at you in the eyes and smile or act funny and nervous, then they possibly like you.

If you say an interest that you like and they keep saying how much they like it, thats a plus. Or if you say that you like a movie or something and they say "we should watch that together".

If they start acting nicer around you.

Touching, if they touch your arm, your hair, etc. If they can't seem to stop touching (not sexual way) is a huge sign.

If they keep saying your name over and over again.

There are many ways to tell. I hope this answers your question.

 

[Kien]

Well if you're a girl and someone have a hard time keeping his eyes away from you, then it's definently a sign. I hate when it's happens to me. must.. not.. look..

 

[Jura]

I'm a guy and girls do most of these things. So I think they are just being polite/nice. That's why I'm asking: how do you really know what they think?

 

[ripewithdecay]

I've had girls do all the 'correct' things to me to show they're interested or like me, but the SA gets me thinking stuff automatically like "It can't be true. It is impossible that this chick likes me." or "What a crock of shit, this person has zero interest in me at all and these little 'signs' aren't anything at all."
Therefore I don't respond to these things - ever. It's really bad because I refrain from showing interest back or pass it off as an illusion when in fact it might possibly be that the girl likes me and would probably say Yes if i asked her out.
I think our low self-esteem prevents us from properly acknowledging legit signs of attraction from the opposite sex.
Ugh.. SA has robbed countless dates/relationships from me if that's true.

 

[Thelema]

I think a good way is if you catch the person looking at you a lot. If they're talking to other people or have a thing to be doing and they're just looking at you...when was the last time you stared at a friend for no reason? You don't

 

[Jura]

A lot of girls look at me occasionally or even a lot, the same ones who do all the correct things, but the problem is, even though they are VERY outgoing, all they really do is say hi, touch me, smile, start smalltalk... they never try to do anything. For example, the girl I have a crush on does all these things, constantly giggles, talks, looks at me, but even though she is the mot confident and popular girl at my school, it never goes far beyond occasional smalltalk.

 

[Thelema]

A lot of girls look at me occasionally or even a lot, the same ones who do all the correct things, but the problem is, even though they are VERY outgoing, all they really do is say hi, touch me, smile, start smalltalk... they never try to do anything. For example, the girl I have a crush on does all these things, constantly giggles, talks, looks at me, but even though she is the mot confident and popular girl at my school, it never goes far beyond occasional smalltalk.

It's still the custom for the guy to ask the girl out. A movie would be a good start 8)

Hey, (her name), I'm going to see (movie title) and thought it would be fun if you came too

If you never ask her out and she's too nervous to ask you out than you're just at a stalemate. Bite the bullet because this is what you both want and you're just taking the initiative

 

[burner21]

... all they really do is say hi, touch me, smile, start smalltalk... they never try to do anything. For example, the girl I have a crush on does all these things, constantly giggles, talks, looks at me, but even though she is the mot confident and popular girl at my school, it never goes far beyond occasional smalltalk.

I guess, if you get yourself up for it, you could try asking these girls out to coffee or something. who knows, maybe they just want you to do the asking out. And if you're really feeling good, don't even think about it, just ask. sort of, spur of the moment type deal. I know that's difficult, but sometimes it happens semi-unconsciously, like you can't believe you asked, but did anyway. who knows, you might surprise yourself and feel good about it

and also for the signs, the ones mentioned were really good like the whole looking at you a lot and smiling and touching. another thing that might help is looking at your own situation using an outsiders point-of-view. like if your the guy across the room and you saw what those girls were doing to you, wouldn't you think they liked that guy (you)?

 

[Jura]

From your replies it appears I way overstated my situation. They're like that around other people as well, it's not exclusively directed at me. Maybe they feel sorry for me for being so shy and lonely they're trying to build up my confidence or make me feel good. Because I think if they really liked me they'd talk to me more and not just in the manner they do now, which is usually only every once in a while. For example, the girl I have a crush on: she's nice to me and giggly and everything, but with her confidence and popularity, I'd expect she'd talk to me, make the first move or at least hint at it. Yes, I think it's obvious none of those girls like me. I'm short and a bit chubby. Who would?

The point is, they might be all great when we talk, but they'd try to be around me often if they were interested. I actually think I just answered my own question: they try to be around you.

 

[Jura]

Bad news. Very bad news. My crush at school and her friends kept giggling and talking all day about their past/current crushes. And I'm pretty sure I heard her say she has a crush on someone now. She's really nice to everyone else but not as much to me. Oh yeah, and she's showing the signs to me, but not to other people. However, she doesn't try to talk to me that much. I'll kill myself...

 

[Kien]

I don't see why any people like us should have any hope for such things.

 

[Jura]

If you're sarcastic, I'm pretty sure I'm thinking rationally and that in this case, I'm fucked. I might try something, though. I've had this idea for a while, and once I grow the balls to go through with it, I'll report my progress...

 

[txjeepin]

i think he was serious