Aside from putting asterisks in the topic to make it look like I swore, how I do I get people to notice me enough so I leave some kind of impression? Do I need to be a fawning sycophant? Do I need to act like an ass?
As it stands now, I'm little more than a situational conversationalist to people. They will talk to me, but only because I'm around. I'm like a chameleon. I leave nothing for anyone to bother getting to know me better. Why is that? Am I truly so boring and uninteresting? Do I have no charisma?
For those who have been on the forum long enough to read my crap posts what do you think? I want honest answers. I'll never learn without them.
Well, I noticed your post, which I would not otherwise have noticed had you not had the time and courage to post it.
So, seems to me like the key is probably to make yourself available for someone to notice. It might take more than a post in the real world, but that's gotta be the ticket. If nobody has an oppourtunity to notice you, then they won't
I should practice what I preach, but there it is. My best answer.
Well there are certainly different ways to be noticed, but a lot of it really depends on why people are noticing you. I can't tell if you are referring to getting noticed by people in real life, or here on the forums? Or maybe both? There are many ways to get peoples attentions, and all for many different reasons. Being a fawning sycophant or a straight up ass will surely get people to notice you, but that can't be the kind of impression you want to have on a person. There's also a difference between being noticed and actually being remembered.
I don't know really. I wish people would notice me sometimes. I don't know to get people to notice me for me, for myself being interested, rather than just something crazy I do. Most people will not go out of their way to talk to someone, maybe you have to talk to them first sometimes. Maybe people need to know more about you for them to find you interesting. I wish I knew the answer myself. I do not think you are boring or uninteresting anyways.
Well as far as your posts are concerned, I think people do notice them. I can honestly say that whenever I see you have posted something I go to see what it is you said, because I know you always have something worthwhile to say. Many of them are not the type of posts that are easy to reply to, and without the rep system anymore it may seem they go unnoticed, but they don't. Your posts have left an impression on me in the past, I often reference things I've read in your posts when talking to people on this site.
You may be getting noticed and not know it, for it is not always shown by the people around you. When someone is loud and the center of attention, they know everyone notices them because of the nature they are being noticed. I don't think you have to do anything differently to be noticed, only if you want to know you are being noticed.
If you want people to want to get to know you, think about what it is that makes you want to get to know other people more. It's usually not because they are acting like an ass. But also it's not just because they're there. I think you'd have to put yourself out there a little, take some risks and try to find some common interests. And I'm sure confidence has something to do with it. If you know you are someone worth knowing, and go into a conversation knowing that, it will radiate off you.
From what I know of you you're not boring, and you can be very fun to chat with.
Choose clothing that attracts attention. Bright colors. Cool hats. Silly shoes. Heart shaped sunglasses. A shirt with a giant red cross on it. Smile a lot and laugh a lot.
Choose clothing that attracts attention. Bright colors. Cool hats. Silly shoes. Heart shaped sunglasses. A shirt with a giant red cross on it. Smile a lot and laugh a lot.
You may be getting noticed and not know it, for it is not always shown by the people around you. When someone is loud and the center of attention, they know everyone notices them because of the nature they are being noticed. I don't think you have to do anything differently to be noticed, only if you want to know you are being noticed.
Yes, that is part of it VJ. I could be the most famous person on earth, but if people don't act like I am it's a moot point, is it not? So maybe I should reiterate and say it's I want to be treated as a person, not a conversation. As I said in my OP, I feel like I'm only talked to for it's own sake. I feel like a conversation machine. No one asks my opinion, or for my help, or how I'm feeling, or anything else that would make me feel like I matter to them. The best I seem to get from people is a way to pass the time. If that is the truth or not is a mystery to me without any feedback. Does that clear it up?
I suspect I am noticed around town for the wrong reasons. People talk in a town like where I live. I am noticed as a runner, I guess for the right reasons.
I prefer a big city where no one reallt knows me, and I can retreat into anonymity when I choose.
My therapist would say you don't know what other people are thinking, that they could be just as easily wondering why you don't notice them. Which is probably true, but not really helpful.
In my careful observation of the world (from my lonely corner), it seems like the people who get all the attention are the ones who don't care if they get it or not. They just live and enjoy life and everyone is attracted to that.
I'm questioning some of the same things, but I'm not as diplomatic as you.
Darryl, I'm wondering if philly actually doesn't know what you mean here. Did you mean to have quite or quiet, it makes sense if you meant quiet, it does not make sense in its original 🙂
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