how much rejection is enough

[lifesnotfair]

How much rejection is too much?

When i so much as jump out of my shell, and ask a person to go for coffee or something, i get rejected. I can't believe how many attempts that i have made to get to know a person, and all they do is reject me. What the hell is going on? I have had dozens of attemps that i have made over the years, and not ONE attempt have i gotten a positive response on. This is no exaggeration, this is true. When i get the guts up to ask someone out, what happens? i get rejected. The more and more rejection i get, the more and more bitter i become and less likely i will become positive about life in general? Why do some people have all the luck with meeting people and getting invloved, and then there are people like me who get rejected every single time, and not get the chance to get a good positive result?

I don't know what to do? with getting rejected all the time, it makes me so damed angry and rejected. And there lies my difficulties. I don't thnk its the person who rejects me, is the amount of times i have gotten rejected.

 

[gobbledegook]

I know exactly how you mean! It happens to me too and you know people are even more mean when they say they'll go out somewhere and then
they don't even bother to turn up. I wouldn't get so angry if they at least phoned me before I've made the effort. I don't tend to ask people out anymore because of this.

 

[slicenrice]

Bro, I know what its like. I almost cry when I read that because it is so similar for me. Like the best I can do is small talk. And I am even afraid to initiate that, or take it to the next level. I am hoping to fix it, but I don't know.

But keep your head up. If you ever did that to me I would get to know you. I mean, I will befriend anyone and give them the benefit of the doubt. My point is, that there are good people out there. You just have to find them, and be patient, because for people like us, because God knows how hard it is for people like us to find them...

 

[lifes_to_long]

i totally get what your saying, but you have to take the positive from it the fact that youve had the courage to ask is really important, you have to consider that there not the one for you, some people maybe intimidated by the fact that you've asked them if they were the perfect person would they have said no.probably not.good luck and keep trying.oli

 

[SocialRetahd]

I get rejected by girls because of my looks, or at least thats why I think so. I even don't bother asking guys to hangout cause I know they think I'm not cool enough.

Anyways, from what I gathered in the chatroom is that you come on a little strong, and that might be your problem.

 

[Emma]

. :?:

 

[Richey]

it's very soul crushing when it happens, when somebody bluntly rejects you and says "i'd rather not go" without saying "maybe some other day" or making it a little sugar coated ot make it easier ...

especially if you've been talking to that person for a while and in your mind you've at least developed a comrade or an acquatence relationship or at least small talk and positive interaction before asking them... ..

the only advice is that maybe you get stronger the more it happend to deal with it and 1 in 20 people may say yes they'd like to be your friend ...

its very tough especially when you get to the age of 20 and above ...because other people have developed secure lives and its not like when you were kids at school ...

your not alone though ...

 

[lifesnotfair]

that was the last straw for me

No more

I am NOT attempting or making first contact with any females anymore..

This has happened more than 20 times for me, and what luck? i get laughed at, shot down and rejected?

Yet people tell me that to never give up, well i have, they come to me, its not going to happen anymore for me to go up to a female. NO MORE..

 

[creep_x]

if u give up, u can be sure that nothings gonna happen
if u try, theres at least a chance

its a simple mathematical/logical calculation so don't give up ever

i know a friend who hits on every girl he can, most of the times he fails but there are times he succeeds .. thats the way the cookie crumbles for some i guess

 

[lifesnotfair]

tell me something, if i keep trying, all it is going to do is get me more and more depressed until the point either A. I will kill myself, or B. i would hurt someone else..

I don't t know what else is there to do ...

 

[Ergo_proxy]

Only the poor people, poor in her heart, poor in her love, poor in her life reject them. And in these life all people are poor.

If you are happy and have felicity don't need get satisfations hurting other people.

 

[creep_x]

tell me something, if i keep trying, all it is going to do is get me more and more depressed until the point either A. I will *****, or B. i would hurt someone else..

I don't t know what else is there to do ...

I didn't get it. Whats option A?

 

[persian]

Maybe some of us are just not meant to be with someone - thats prolly the most true for me.

An advice ... just don't listen to advice from girls .. they know crap about what is your situation ... only thing they need to have someone approach them is to go out and sit.
They don't know how crushing it is when you get rejected .. nor do they care.

I've given up on girls and dating a long time ago - one less thing that can hurt me. Like yourself, if i went on with getting hurt, i'd either kill myself or do some damage to other people ... shear frustration.

I have no advice to give ... it's up to you if you can take everything that comes with rejections then keep trying, if not .. then give up, focus on something else

EDIT: **** in both our posts is s.u.i.c.i.d.e

 

[creep_x]

EDIT: **** in both our posts is s.u.i.c.i.d.e

yeah thats what I thought but since there were 5 asterisks I thought it was some 5 letter word & not s.u.i.c.i.d.e which is a 7 letter word

 

[ShyGonzo]

I don't know what to do? with getting rejected all the time, it makes me so damed angry and rejected. And there lies my difficulties. I don't thnk its the person who rejects me, is the amount of times i have gotten rejected.

Don't exagerate like this. I once knew a guy who was really really really weird and very far from cool. He was afraid of approaching women. I decided to help him and he listened to my advice. At some moment, I don't what happened to the guy, but he turned into a crazy guy approaching each woman he could. He got rejected many times. But at some moment he had some successes. He even dated and had a girlfriend.

I would advice you to do the same. Maybe you approach women to directly. You can't just approach a woman you don't know and the first thing you say to her is: "Want to go on a date ?". This doesn't work. You approach her by just having a normal talk with her. If you talked for more than 30 minutes with her, than you can ask her out. And if you get rejected, don't worry about that, just try again. For sure, you never succeeded because you approach women wrong. If you approach them well and you try so much as you claim, at the end you will succeed. That is just a guarante.

 

[persian]

So just bang your head against the wall until it brakes? great advice

Rejections build up frustration and anger .. and that has to come out and it will. Either on yourself or someone else.

I'd advise to either work on your personality or your looks, 'cause those are the factors you get rejected for.

If you're too crap of a person or too ugly then just give up and accept that dating isn't for everyone.

 

[ShyGonzo]

So just bang your head against the wall until it brakes? great advice

Rejections build up frustration and anger .. and that has to come out and it will. Either on yourself or someone else.

I'd advise to either work on your personality or your looks, 'cause those are the factors you get rejected for.

If you're too crap of a person or too ugly then just give up and accept that dating isn't for everyone.

This is BS. I have seen the must ugly possible people dating someone. Everyone can date and find a partner. If you really believe dating is not for everyone than I am not wondered why you don't date. You just habe to try, not give up. Looks doesn't matter, unless maybe you want to date the hottest girls of your country. If till now you didn't have succes, than the only reason is you approach the girls to directly. Change that and keep trying and succes is a guarantee.

 

[persian]

This is BS. I have seen the must ugly possible people dating someone. Everyone can date and find a partner. If you really believe dating is not for everyone than I am not wondered why you don't date. You just habe to try, not give up. Looks doesn't matter, unless maybe you want to date the hottest girls of your country. If till now you didn't have succes, than the only reason is you approach the girls to directly. Change that and keep trying and succes is a guarantee.

Right ... and you know how i approach girls?
You're just talking bullshit, 'cause you've seen it work for you or your friend .. that doesn't mean it works for everyone.

Looks matter, i have no idea where you live .. but they matter to everyone. Everywhere. But people settle for less - settling being the main word.
I don't want someone who will settle for me .. and then be unhappy or wonder what if she dated this/that guy, i'd rather be alone.

 

[persian]

but maybe you're right. maybe we are all intrinsically shallow and empty.

and maybe thats why so many marriages end in divorce: too many people marry for the wrong reasons that you've described.

it's a sad that, really.

exactly ... we are. It's in our nature.

People just blindly believe whatever they're said. It's our nature to look for best looking people, because they have good genes which lead to better offspring.
And someone who is with unattractive person is actually settling ... he will always be driven to good looking guys/girls .. until his sex drive diminishes.

But people are too afraid to admit to themselves that they are shallow and just lie to themselves and others.

 

[persian]

I didn't say physical attraction is the only one ... it's the initial one in most cases.

You'll always fall for looks first, that is what will attract you to someone, then other traits come into play .. combined make a relationship work or not.

Thats why i said if you have crap personality and looks you might just give up.

But debating that will only lead into another "Why do women like assholes" topic.