How Much Has Shyness Sculpted Your Personality

[LemonKiss]

I sometimes wonder, how different would I be if I wasn't so shy? I think I would be very different. I'm quiet and I easedrop all the time. I spend hours thinking about people and why they do the things they do. I'm a good listener too.

I think if I wasn't shy, I would be much less sensitive. Because I am so senstive, I always treat people in the best way possible. There are many good traits I have because of my shyness. I know that fear has often held me back in life, but I'm going to try and dwell on the positive aspects of me for a bit.

So what about you? How different would you be if you were never shy?

By the way, does anyone else here have any interest in psychology? I hope to become a psychologist and I was wondering if anyone else wanted to. I love listening to people talk about themselves and I want to help.

 

[abc1234]

shyness controls some of my life well a big part of it not being able to relate with too many people my age is a big issue fo me i just feel so out of place like im a 60 yr old man traped in a 21 yr kids body haha

 

[beetle]

Wow, LemonKiss, when I read your post it was as if it could have been written by me! I have recently been thinking the exact things that you said. I have been starting to think positively about my sensitivity, and actually value it.

Also I certainly do have an interest in psychology. In fact I am in my 3rd year of a degree in psychology. I chose to do it because like you said, I spent/spend hours thinking about people and why they do the things they do, which led naturally to doing psychology (because that is what it's all about!). I'm guessing that I will become a psychologist, although I still don't know what area I'm going to specialize in.

I think the high level of sensitivity, shyness and thoughtfulness I have has caused me to see and analyse everything more. While it's bad now because I'm in the throes of social phobia, and the situation I'm in now is not great, I think that when I am in a more comfortable situation, I will be glad of the way shyness has shaped my personality. Because I think it will have resulted in me being a nice and thoughtful person (as you can see, I don't really have too much of a problem with self-esteem any more! My problems are just finding the right situations and people to be myself with).

 

[Skyla]

i used to think there was a problem with being shy and quiet. i wanted to be the loud confident one. but i realise thats just who i am. theres is nothing with being shy. obviously if its escalated into SA, then theres a slight problem, lol. but being shy doesnt equal being less attractive, less appealing, less interesting etc.

 

[maria1]

I fell the same----- that my shyness stops me to think....sometimes...I am in a gruop and I do not only stop saying things because I might look stupid----but also I am so nervous I do not think properly and I can not say anything....it is horrible....shyness..I agree make me a sensitive person....but at the end I am having a horrible time

 

[redlady]

I think that i would be sensitive anyway - i would still have gone through the same shit and would still think 'I know the pain of this so i am not going to inflict it on someone else'. I hate being shy, i hate that it is putting a strangle hold on who i really am - i have so much inside of me but my shyness stops me from expressing it.

 

[renegade]

I think that i would be sensitive anyway - i would still have gone through the same shit and would still think 'I know the pain of this so i am not going to inflict it on someone else'. I hate being shy, i hate that it is putting a strangle hold on who i really am - i have so much inside of me but my shyness stops me from expressing it.

Same here, but shyness isn't SP, they are tottaly different. There are so many things I want to do and so many feelings I want to express but I can't do none when anxiety kicks in.

 

[idunnoimnotcreativ]

Shyness is what made me who I am. Every positive and negative aspect about me is because of this personality trait. I'm terrible at conversations, obviously due to my shyness....and I do really well in school, because I have no life due to my shyness.

I'm getting over it little by little, but I'm still a long way from completely overcoming it. I dont care so much about turning into a really loud outgoing person...I just want to get to the point where I have freedom...freedom to be comfortable no matter what the situation I'm in.

 

[Falling]

mine is the opposite of you all.... shyness hides the real me... maybe my shyness is the fear that i will be rejected by showing myself, not make people having a good time, not sounding funny... i know that i can be fun, making people having a good time... i do it with my close friends, but only with certain type of people i can be me... ugh these days i'm feeling so confuseddddddddd.

 

[Cork_Tree]

I think i may have achieved more if i was not so shy, i love to be a writer but whenever i write something even if no ones looking i will feel really ashames of what ive written and delete before any one else can see it. My family say ill never be a writer if i wont even let them see these things but its not that easy.

 

[Invisible_Alien]

I view my shyness as a negative aspect of my personality. I know if I didn't suffer from shyness I would be a totally different person. I wish I could be more outgoing and confident. Shyness has always held me back, professionally and socially. I do feel like a social recluse. I know my shyness has made me more empathetic and sensitive, which are good things. But it has also prevented me from finding a career that I enjoy, and more importantly finding meaningful relationships and friendships. I view it as an obstacle to overcome. I'm usually able to hide my shyness. Most people when they first meet me probably don't think I'm shy. They most likely think I'm a little quiet, and sometimes snobish. To be honest, I'd rather have them think that than think I'm shy. I've always felt my shyness was a weakness.

 

[testobot]

Ah, yeah... I am actually working on my bachelor's of science in psychology at the moment, and I am almost done- woohoo!. I am curious, do you ever get stressed, not only in situations that can be expected as a social phobe- like being called on in class or having to give a speach- but when the topic of anxieties disorder and phobias are being covered? I am always tensing up and worrying that people can pick up on my anxiety when these topics are being covered.

But as far as the sensitivity, being quiet and studying people- I can relate.

 

[SongOfSongs]

In a word, completely.

 

[Caillou]

I feel like I have a double personality - my outside and inside personality. I find that people tend to judge me by what I project rather than what is really happening inside my head. These two personalities are extremely different. I am screaming to be heard but often ignored.

I wanted to cry when I read the posts because I could see so much of me in them. I'm extremely sensitive. I often wonder what I would be like if I weren't so shy and aware of myself all the time. I feel so controlled.

My life would be extremely different but I don't know if it would be better or worse.

 

[easy]

Err.. shyness is your personality. Part of it anyway.

By the way, does anyone else here have any interest in psychology? I hope to become a psychologist and I was wondering if anyone else wanted to. I love listening to people talk about themselves and I want to help.

Hey, I'm a 18 year old man (boy?), and I'm going to study psychology next year!

 

[PhantomPod]

Oh man, shyness has greatly sculpted my personality. It's held me back from so many things and just from being the funny outgoing person I feel like I truly am on the inside.

 

[Moonie]

I have to agree with you.. I am a very sensitive person and am actually glad for it. Although, I wish sometimes I weren't SO sensitive, I do feel it makes me be more aware of other people's feelings. My BF (who talks A LOT and sometimes too much) will say some things that come out as hurtful. I finally yelled at him and told him that he needs to think about what comes out of his mouth and keep it close at times. Sounds mean, but sometimes when you are very talkative you might not tend to consider your words first.

As a previous poster said, I really am not too concerned with being loud and outgoing. There are way too many of them out there. In fact, I think my shyness/reserved matter in unique. Sometimes it is too extreme, but this is who I am. My English prof a few years ago said that I was a very unique personality in the classroom and the best writer in the class. That was such an awesome compliment and I was pleased that someone would see me that way. I just want comfort.. which I don't think I have found yet.

I do feel that my shyness has prevented me from aiming higher. I am a good student (good grades, high ambitions, almost about to graduate college), but if I weren't so shy I could have gone farther or have done it faster.. But oh well! I think I could have gone either way. My dad's side of the family is very outgoing (my brother got that gene), and my mom's side very quiet (me.) It comes out when I am drunk, at ease wih someone, or at home. I can talk really loud and fast. I am just morbidly shy with most people.

And finally, I am a psych major! This is my last year. I reall enjoyed most of my psych classes (Women Psych, ABNORMAL, Theory of Personality, etc.) My last few classes are going to be hard ones. I am not exactly sure what I want to do yet.. I am thinking I either want to go on and become an occupational therapist or something with addictive behavior (like alcohol). I really loved abnormal psych and would like to even go on with that- study mental behavior.

 

[Rx]

Man oh man... does anyone else have a problem with expressing themselves in writing?? This will be try #7 for my reply (argh!)

I think if I were not shy, I would be much less sensitive. And that thought I do not like. I love thinking about why people do what they do, and feel what they feel. I also think that being sensitive does allow you to perhaps see beauty where others may not, and to experience that beauty in a much more intense manner, where others would not or would not care to.

I think being shy definately does not help with meeting the ladies. The man is supposed to appear confident, supposed to approach the woman and such. Shyness just does not seem to portray confidence, and that does not help with the ladies! So starting a family is gonna be tougher. That is my main concern these days.

This is my first post as well. I almost hope to have found a 'home' here, or atleast a sense of belonging because goodness knows I yearn for it! I just wish I could sit down and explain my situation without feeling like a fool afterwards. The number of times my parents made me feel like there was something wrong with me (and like a fool) because of the way I am, and even if there was something wrong, offering no helpful advice in return..... ugh. I love them, but ugh!

Shyness is a double-edged sword. I know that with my closer friends, I am a chatterbox, and the relationships are fantastic. But until I believe in my heart that I can trust someone, I just won't let them in.

Thus far, the ONLY method to circumnavigate shyness that I have found that actually does work, is to shut off my brain and just do it. It doesnt permanently fix anything but it gets me through whatever situation I am in, albeit NOT with flying colors!