How Many People have Divorced Parents?

[hamandcheese]

Just out of curiosity, how many people come from family's with divorced or seperated parents?

My Father left when I was 5, and I had an estranged relationship with him until the age of 13 and have not seen him since (I'm 21 now).

This is one factor that I can say with confidence, has led to me developing SA. In fact the first time I noticed it was when I started school at 5 years old. I never felt like I could trust any of the other kids.

Anyone else relate to this?

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

No not really.
However, my parents are shortly getting a divorce. And I haven't told anyone, but my mother just recently told me all these stories of how my father has treated her. That once he choked her to the point where she was unconcious. That twice he hit her so that she fell to the floor and then kicked her. That he's had more than one affair and a child from such an affair. And that on their honeymoon he told her that he didn't really want to marry her and she was so depressed she considered killing herself.

...well, now, I've got that off my chest! BEcause I can't tell anyone else about this. But it isn't pleasant to keep either.

 

[hamandcheese]

No way, sorry to hear that, sounds like a difficult situation Muffet, thanks for the reply!

 

[coriander1992]

My parents are divorced.
I don't think this has been the major cause of my SA, but i suppose it must contribute to it somewhat?
interesting thought

 

[Katjelique]

My parents are divorce. And my father abused both my mother and myself. I haven't seen him since I was 12 (22 now). It has been a factor in my Post Tramatic Stress and SA.

 

[hamandcheese]

Thanks for the reply and sharing your story Katjelique!

 

[hamandcheese]

Hi Katjelique

I imagine it must be tough coming to terms with an abusive parent, although it didn't happen to me, I just had a cold and indifferent parent, I can empathise with your situation, especially since we're so close in age.

Feel free to drop me a comment back any time!

 

[Moonie]

My parents are divorced - it happened when I was 12/13. I was always shy/quiet before they divorced, so the divorce is not what caused me to become this way. But, I think my dad leaving has caused me to become a little bitter about men in some ways. For so long, I've believed that the divorce hasn't affected me, but maybe it has.

 

[hamandcheese]

Yea I wouldn't go so far as to say it was the actual divorce that affected me too much but rather the estranged relationship I had with my father.

I remember from an early age just having a complete lack in trust of other kids at school and I think I froze up with anxiety as soon as I got there.

Thanks for the replies everyone!!

 

[emmdee]

Damn, it seems like divorced parents can lead to everything.
I feel bad for you guys. I understand it personally in a way, as my parents came close once. Thank god for my father apologizing.
However, you have to do what is best for the family in the end.
I mean, would you rather have an alcoholic or rageaholic in the house, or live with the other, better parent, and lead a normal life?

 

[hamandcheese]

Hey emmdee

Yea you're right like in my parents case it was definitely necessary for their marriage to end, it probably shouldn't have started to begin with.

And to be honest the relationship I had with my father, if you can call it that, was definitely not the only factor in my SA.

I just think that because my father left when I was 5 and I started primary school that year and that's when I first noticed my SA, it must be connected. Not ever getting a chance to know my father after that didn't help either.

Cheers for the reply!

 

[Katjelique]

Luckily for me I have a super great relationship with my mom and my sister. We are like a team. Alas, they also have SA.
As for my dad, I find myself pitying him more and more because I feel it wasn't his fault really. He tried to be a good guy and I remember alot of the good things about him. His family did not help him at all, and when he tried to get help they made it seem like a show of weakness.

 

[hamandcheese]

Glad to hear that you've got such a good relationship with your Mum and sis.

It's really positive that you've beenable to reconcile what happened with your father too, I know I have as well!

Thanks for the reply