LittleMissMuffet
Well-known member
Imagine this is your reality...
Imagine that you will never in this life time get over Social Anxiety. That you will always remain socially isolated and rejected. That the reality is that you simply cannot change.
OK, don't imagine this too much. Because recently I have been thinking along these lines and recently I have also been contemplating suicide. ...so... likewise, don't imagine this scenario unless you are ready to.
I am facing up to the prospect that I may never have the friends that I want and that I may always be isolated from others. I may also remain unemplyed for the rest of my life and unaible to be in the company of others (without becoming highly anxious and likewise too difficult to be around.)
As sad as it would be to not get these things that I want out of life and to be forever alone and cut off from others -in a way I figure: What difference does it make? Who am I without all of these things?
Am I able to respect my self and consider my self worthy?
And if I were to remain always without these assets of friends and a job and a social life -would it make me an inferior person? in a sense: would it matter?
I say, no. I say that even without all of these things that I want that I am still just as good as if I had them.
I don't mean to manipulate the universe, but nonetheless, I am pretty sure that only when a person gives up needing to have something does the universe give it to them.
Well, I am just facing up to the fact that so far I have not been able to change certain aspects of my personality. And I figure that seeing as this thing about me that renders me socially isolated and anxious is so very hard to change, then how could it possibly be a mistake?
And if I cannot change it and/or it is too great a struggle to change it, then perhaps I have been trying in vain.
Anyhow, I am not bright enough to know whether my reasoning is sound.
Perhaps you disagree with my logic and think maybe that I am merely giving up. ..It is just that there is 'giving up' and there is also 'giving in'.
And why should I spend my life trying to change something that quite possibly cannot be changed ...all the while, sufferring both the insult and the injury of never being good enough for others-?
Imagine that you will never in this life time get over Social Anxiety. That you will always remain socially isolated and rejected. That the reality is that you simply cannot change.
OK, don't imagine this too much. Because recently I have been thinking along these lines and recently I have also been contemplating suicide. ...so... likewise, don't imagine this scenario unless you are ready to.
I am facing up to the prospect that I may never have the friends that I want and that I may always be isolated from others. I may also remain unemplyed for the rest of my life and unaible to be in the company of others (without becoming highly anxious and likewise too difficult to be around.)
As sad as it would be to not get these things that I want out of life and to be forever alone and cut off from others -in a way I figure: What difference does it make? Who am I without all of these things?
Am I able to respect my self and consider my self worthy?
And if I were to remain always without these assets of friends and a job and a social life -would it make me an inferior person? in a sense: would it matter?
I say, no. I say that even without all of these things that I want that I am still just as good as if I had them.
I don't mean to manipulate the universe, but nonetheless, I am pretty sure that only when a person gives up needing to have something does the universe give it to them.
Well, I am just facing up to the fact that so far I have not been able to change certain aspects of my personality. And I figure that seeing as this thing about me that renders me socially isolated and anxious is so very hard to change, then how could it possibly be a mistake?
And if I cannot change it and/or it is too great a struggle to change it, then perhaps I have been trying in vain.
Anyhow, I am not bright enough to know whether my reasoning is sound.
Perhaps you disagree with my logic and think maybe that I am merely giving up. ..It is just that there is 'giving up' and there is also 'giving in'.
And why should I spend my life trying to change something that quite possibly cannot be changed ...all the while, sufferring both the insult and the injury of never being good enough for others-?