How do you cope with socialphobia

[Clown]

I always wonder how other socialphobic people here cope with there disorder.
For me, im thinking my self into a depression, how hard I try to be positive
I can't help my self to think that my future is doomed.. it happens almost
4-5 times a week go really down big black hole and then for a few hours I turn into happiness/feeling great again and then slowly sink back again in the black hole.

So I have no real coping mechanism only a destructive one.

How do you cope ?

 

[coyote]

this disorder manifests itself in a million variations - some more severe in their dysfunction than others

so i don't presume to think that what works for me, will work for you

i've had careers, relationships, kids, etc. - most people would probably not think there's anything bothering me

because i just manage to propel myself forward through sheer force of will, avoiding the things i can't seem to handle

inevitably, it's exhausting, and i have trouble maintaining things - and i make a mess of my life, hurting people along the way

so i start over from the bottom

again, and again

i'm not saying this is the best way - it's just what i've done

since i've become more aware of this issue, i've been working to recognize when i'm avoiding stuff or letting things slip and trying to stay on top of them

because i've decided that, even though doing those things is frightening, i'm even more scared of wrecking everything again and having to start over

with even less this time

 

[Tulicks]

I always wonder how other socialphobic people here cope with there disorder.
For me, im thinking my self into a depression, how hard I try to be positive
I can't help my self to think that my future is doomed.. it happens almost
4-5 times a week go really down big black hole and then for a few hours I turn into happiness/feeling great again and then slowly sink back again in the black hole.

So I have no real coping mechanism only a destructive one.

How do you cope ?

I stopped caring, it's really that simple. If you care about your social anxiety, and believe that people are going to perceive it in you and judge you, then yes, social anxiety is going to drive you completely nuts, but if you can get to that point in your journey with social anxiety where it no longer matters to you what people think, and to realize that people don't notice the social anxiety in you nearly as much as you may think, then you will be able to deal with it a lot easier, with less stress, and with less worry.

I learned this at a friends place one night... I felt completely impaired from communicating... my mind was drawing a total blank... and every time a joke would be brought up that would make everyone else laugh except me, I thought people would start wondering what the hell was wrong with me, but after asking my friend if he noticed how quiet I was that night, and his reply was, "I never noticed that at all." I realized then that much of these ugly symptoms of social anxiety are invisible.

 

[Clown]

for me the avoiding problem is not the biggest problem, its just
I can't enjoy anything socially anymore... everything feels fake and depressed, like a dream.
im smoking, eating bad, using cannabis to speed up the progress of death, but it doens't
seem to work

 

[gustavofring]

When's your school starting Clown? I recalled you were gonna do a study again. I bet if you have to go to school and get some structure and purpose in your life again things will get better.

 

[coyote]

for me the avoiding problem is not the biggest problem, its just
I can't enjoy anything socially anymore... everything feels fake and depressed, like a dream.
im smoking, eating bad, using cannabis to speed up the progress of death, but it doens't
seem to work

all those things just contribute to depression

you should do the opposite

start exercising, start eating healthy, and quit the drugs and alcohol

these things alone will help you feel better mentally and emotionally

plus, just getting in the habit of taking good care of yourself can help change your outlook on life

i recommend starting small and just concentrating on simple things like taking care of yourself, and forget about the rest of the crap - to see if things don't start improving

imagine you were an animal that you cared for - would you treat yourself that way? wouldn't you want the best for your pet? the best diet and exercise and living conditions?

 

[Lexington]

im smoking, eating bad, using cannabis to speed up the progress of death, but it doens't
seem to work

This is a concern clown. get some help besides here please.

 

[Clown]

Im getting used to it after 7 years happy cycle down in days/hours.....
I have also generalized anxiety disorder and the worrying is making me crazy
the last years or so.... can''t stop worrying about my future.. I know it may not happen
but chance that it could happen makes me so anxious and tensed im feeling like vomitting

 

[LifeInternal88]

I used to 'live' in fantasies...like playing pretend, as children do. Things I can't do in real life...I play pretent. Simple E.g. if I'm playing an intrument, alone in my room -- I'll pretend there's an audience and all that...(ok, this is a bit embarrasing).

I think that was my coping mechanism. I think it wastes my time tho...and doesn't really help, just keeps my mind occupied with lots of wishful thinking.

But I'm trying to stop this now.