How do you break the cycle? Approaching girls is impossible.

[IcarusUnderWater2]

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[4seasons]

Wish I could give you advice, because then I wouldn't need it.......But I am the exact same way. There's this girl at my work and every time I see her I say to myself, if you get the chance talk to her. But if she gets close the same thing happens to me that happens to you. That feeling in the pit of my stomach, its like excitement/complete fear and my heart races. I can't speak when I'm like that.

 

[bleach]

I feel your pain, buddy, believe me..

The worst part is when you actually take that step and initiate contact, and you can read the interest on her face, and THEN the fear and panic takes over as you realize that you have to hold a real conversation with her without awkwardness, and the pressure of that scenario is way more than you can even tolerate to make eye contact. So you stalk off, defeated and shamed. And that's the point when I usually start drinking heavily.

 

[noblame4]

That used to get me too, but then my therepist taught me this neat little trick, most people dont like to be dazzled with conversation. They like to do all the dazzling. All you have to do is smile and nod and throw in the occasional question to keep them talking, and when they're finally finished, they go away thinking, "My! what a great conversation!" This works pretty well with guys, I imagine it works wonders on women.

 

[Carstuar]

That used to get me too, but then my therepist taught me this neat little trick, most people dont like to be dazzled with conversation. They like to do all the dazzling. All you have to do is smile and nod and throw in the occasional question to keep them talking, and when they're finally finished, they go away thinking, "My! what a great conversation!" This works pretty well with guys, I imagine it works wonders on women.

Yeah, that should work on the ones who never shut up, but you might want one who's not like that

 

[slicenrice]

I feel your pain, buddy, believe me..

The worst part is when you actually take that step and initiate contact, and you can read the interest on her face, and THEN the fear and panic takes over as you realize that you have to hold a real conversation with her without awkwardness, and the pressure of that scenario is way more than you can even tolerate to make eye contact. So you stalk off, defeated and shamed. And that's the point when I usually start drinking heavily.

omg i hate this. i was at the mall the other day, and i went to talk to a girl at a stand, and she was smiling and in her eyes i could just see that she would have loved to chat with me for a while. she was really cute, and had a sexy accent. i just asked her where i could apply for a job (just a lie haha i'm not looking for one) and then walked away with that terrible feeling.

 

[slicenrice]

and to share my single worst experience with this...

over winter break i was crushing hard on this girl at work who was really cute, and looked at me when i walked by her and sometimes tried to talk to me. i finally messaged her at the end of my time, and we got to chatting, and we had like everything in common, and she saw that i was a really awesome guy, despite the insecurities (she was the first person i told about my SA). we went out and spoke everyday for hours, and things went really well. then, before things had a chance to lift off, there was a communication error, and she is not forgiving, and now we don't speak i love her, and the pain from her is so bad. i hope i get the chance to have a go at it again with an incredible girl like her, but i know girls like that are one in a million

 

[InTheShadows]

I know exactly what you mean here. Especially about girls. one time I was in town in a computer shop picking up my RAM that i ordered to upgrade my PC . I was served be a guy but there was this girl (about the same age as me) sitting in a chair doing something behind the counter and she was giving me "the eye" and smiling at me (I know she was looking at me because we made direct eye contact a couple of times) that and there was no one else in the very small shop,:lol: I noticed her giving me it a couple of times when I was talking to the guy who was serving me, but of course I was too chicken to say anything to her. Especially with the other guy there. I don't think it was because I was a customer either because the guy was already serving me (as he was the guy who took my order two days earlier) and she was busy doing other stuff anyway. The thing that sucks is she was actually pretty cute and SO the sort of girl I'd be interested in. If only I was confident enough to take a chance.

 

[Kien]

Well at least save the memory that a girl even looked at you. I feel like girls that catches my attention wish they didn't have to see me.