How do you break into groups of already close friends?

#1
I know people who could potentially be good friends, but they already seem to have each other and I don't know where I'd fit. The me that I come off as isn't all there is, but I feel like people get stuck on my first impressions and it seems difficult to really be me, which makes creating new friendships harder when I know they have other people to fall back on when I don't :p I hope that makes sense to someone
 

StandingJelly

Well-known member
#2
If they're ever alone, that's your chance.

If I had no friends around, I won't mind any company, even if the talk is boring/superficial.

And as long as you didn't offend me, the next time I have a friend around, I might not invite you to join in, but at least I won't mind if you choose to come and say hi or even join the conversation.
 
#4
Same. It was always very awkward, when I would try to start a conversation it would get too quiet and sometimes I would get the vibe of "Go away." from some of them which made me feel uncomfortable, so naturally I'd just back off.
 

fate12321

Well-known member
#5
Same. It was always very awkward, when I would try to start a conversation it would get too quiet and sometimes I would get the vibe of "Go away." from some of them which made me feel uncomfortable, so naturally I'd just back off.
This statement describes me perfectly.

I never managed to make friends with people that already had a closed network of people. I usually create my own. Lately, my group had split apart and now I rarely talk to anyone. The last group of friends I had was back in high school, but that ended 3 years ago.
 
#6
I virtually have no success at this task. I've continuously failed since middle school and ended up either being ignored, someone within the group ended up being immensely petty or jealous of me for superficial reasons or someone would try to leave me out of the conversations. Just be yourself and you will eventually find your tribe.
 
#7
Be careful not to get overly fond of anyone or you might mimic small things they do and everyone think you disingenuous. Be equally careful not to share any details about yourself that can be used against you. When they open up about their days en mass white-lie your *** off because nobody actually cares or you'll kill "the mood" with your real talk. Don't bring up anxiety or depression or you'll get hollow concern from those better off or too young to understand.

Positive edit: Stick around, even through the imposter feelings. You don't even have to do anything. Just show up and they will eventually feel comfortable enough around you to have an interest in you. I know it's difficult to do your own thing when you want to adapt to the group and share in their interests but they'll like you more if you do your own thing and let your individuality show.
 
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