how do i change my attitude?

[newshyguy]

how do i change my attitude? i always look so selfconcious and untrustworthy , and im always told to smile, and this keeps me from speaking up and stuff, i mean for once i b happy if when talking to someone i could smile and the other person smile back ,

so how can i change my attitude ??

 

[Falcon]

how do i change my attitude? i always look so selfconcious and untrustworthy , and im always told to smile, and this keeps me from speaking up and stuff, i mean for once i b happy if when talking to someone i could smile and the other person smile back ,

so how can i change my attitude ??

Hey newshyguy, I used to be the same way 3 months ago. Now I'm actually kind of outgoing. The difference was, I raised my self esteem. I did daily affirmations, and I focused on eliminating ALL negative thinking. For instance, if I had the thought "Oh my god, I'm the only person eating alone in this restaurant, I'm so embarrassed", I'd rephrase it as "Look at all those people having fun eating together. I'm able to enjoy myself alone. I'm lucky for having that trait, not many people do". By doing these things and working at them (it's hard!) I was able to completely change my outlook on life. Now, instead of thinking the worst about other people or fearing them, I'm glad to meet them and talk to them.

Hope that helps.

 

[newshyguy]

yo

thanx

 

[Scottish_Player]

Ive changed my attitued over the past 6 months or so, for me i thought to myself i can go on the rest of my life like this and beating myself up over it or i can try and change, afterall... iam no diffrent to any one else and its only me that makes me think iam diffrent,

Dont expect to become super confident overnight, just build on it little by little, for me i can only think of 4 major thing i have acomplished in 6 months but they are all positive and its just a case of a bit at a time, as each day, week, and month passes i feel better in myself.

Even if you do try something new and dont succed try not to think of it as failing and think of how you can do it better next time :wink:

 

[Reholla]

If only everyone else in the world wondered this!! Not just with people w/ SA!

But since we all have some form of SA here, I'll put it in terms of SA.
***THIS IS honestly probably THE most important post on here. Anxiety stems comepltely from attitude!! Attitude really IS everything!
When I say this, I am really talking to myself too.

I agree with the above posts. Self talk is really crucial. It can lead to anxiety, irratibility, and depression. ORR it can lead to excitement, happiness, and good thoughts. I think I speak for everyone when I say the later is definitely the best choice.

So this is what I do:
Keep a journal. I know this is kind of a hassle, but worth it. We obviously need help with getting in touch with our inner thoughts. Even tho you may think you dont need to write them down, YOU DO. lol so through out the day, write down anything negative you realize you say to yourself. Next to that negative thought replace it with a POSITIVE thought. Make it as realistic as possible. For example, if youre thinking "I dont feel good today and dont want to go to work." DONT replace it with "I feel great, i can go!" Cause YOU wont believe it.

Here are some good examples:

"I am not going to make it thru today." REPLACE w/
"It's not the end of the world, its just another day."

"Other people can sense my anxiety and will probably judge me because of it." REPLACE w/
"All i can do is be ME. If people dont like that then there's not much I can do about it. Theyre probably not worth my time anyway."

"My anxiety comes on without notice and is almost impossible to control."
"Ive repressed anxiety thoughts before, theres no reason I cant do it this time."

You get the drift. As you do this more and more, it will become habbit.

ALSO, to get in touch with your obsessive thinking patterns, answer the following questions as honestly as possible:

What is your most common obsessive thought? How often do you obssess about this? When does it seem to come on? When youre tired? Before bed? Any other time? What could you do to face this problem?

Now write a paragraph about your obsessive thought. Dont worry how bad it may look or it makes you feel anxious to write it.
Mine was something like this:

"What if a great oppurtunity occurrs for me to say something to a person that I am compatible w/ (boy or girl) but I get anxiety symptoms and just look stupid? Would they judge me and think I have a horrible personality and think I am not worth getting to know? Is this the beginning of me becoming an anti-social shut-in who is friendless? Am I going to freak out and never be able to show my face around that group again?"

Told you, it can sound completely irrational! Just goes to show how silly our thoughts can be sometimes.

NOW take your obsessive thoughts and turn it into something HUMOROUS...play around with it to make yourself realize how silly it really is.

"I'm going to imagine myself saying something really stupid and making a fool of myself. I'm going to imagine myself being an old shut in grandma who talks to her plants because then, they wont even notice if I make a fool of myself!!"

If your obsessive thought is suicide, imagine yourself trying to overdose on jellybeans.

Keep this and read your obsessive thought over and over, make it to where youve seen it so much it bores you. Expose yourself to this thought enough times, daily, to where your thought no longer produces anxiety,

WOW this post is super long. But i think this is so important. This is what has really helped me, andhopefully it does the same for you.

 

[mindovermatter77]

^nice tips reholla, where did you learn those?

 

[newshyguy]

1

I have good News!!

Ok, set off my day to do this, today's goal was to change my attitude, the thing that i kept in mind was that i gotta keep my positive thouhgts only and not negative.
I got consccious when my negative thoughts came and then instead i forced my positive ones.

and guess what it worked great!! because in my chemistry class from school im always anxious when it comes to labs, but today i had lab and it was way different than before really i mean it, i felt less nervous and more in control , i think it was a consequence of this attempt to change my attitude

I didnt think it was possible but anyways my day is not over yet

so yea homies, im one step closer to beating anxiety thanks for the help!!! im so happy

ps: i have noticed that in different occasions Reholla, Scottish_Player and Falcon, give good info on anxiety , i think you guys are going to beat anxiety really soon. im right behind u

 

[newshyguy]

1

all of this has gone down on my dairy 8)

 

[newshyguy]

12

today was the 2nd day with this attitude change,
and again i liked the results i got and
i spent the afternoon with a girl friend, and (eversince the morning i had this positive attitude thinking) and it worked great because compared to the last time i spent the day with her, this time i was more open and free to be myself and say whatever and i guess she liked it cuz
we spent a longer time chillin 8) 8) 8)

not to mention i didnt feel with high anxiety as sometimes..

u know why live beating your self up with this negative self talk??? anxiety happens in cases of danger and i realize that there is no REAL danger in my life, im a regular kid like you
so why live everyday thinking the worse and saying bad things to your self??

 

[newshyguy]

1

today was my 3rd day,
wtf yo, , i tried doing the replacement technique , but i didnt get the positive attitude i got yesterday

i was like "i used this technique and i had a good attitude yesterday , whats wrong today?? "

on the other hand , the thing that brought me hope, was a very nice lunch free of anxiety. yep FREE

 

[Reholla]

^nice tips reholla, where did you learn those?

thanks, I have done so much research and browsing the internet to find answers. I have learned a lot through that. If you are still confused as to why you have anxiety, or dont really understand the source of it all, I would reccomend getting the book "From Panic to power" by Lucinda BAssett. She also has a website with testimonies of people with anxiety disorders. Its really helpful to listen to others' stories, and it gives us hope. So go HERE: www.stresscenter.com

Newshyguy, you said this:
i was like "i used this technique and i had a good attitude yesterday , whats wrong today?? "

I know I feel like that on days. Youre going to feel that way and its not that youre doing anything wrong at all. *Resilliance* is KEY to recovery! Meaning, you have to love yourself enough to bounce back after maybe those same techniques didnt work. Recovery's a one step forward 2 steps back type thing. As i am experiencing, the hard way. Though theres not really an easy way to all this. Just take things little by little.
But I can tell youre keeping a great attitude so I really have faith in you and your recovery! Keep it up everybody!

 

[newshyguy]

1

dude, thanx for sharing all that info ,

i know what happened that day, it was because since i got so much good results in 2 days, i was expecting to get great results by the next day, so i was making high expectations and thats no good- thankfully i realized on time

and yea is taking things little by little, day by day,

God Damn i Love my life

 

[savage_beagle]

Look around. Have a goood, long look at the people you spend time with. Are they negative, critical, backstabbing..etc etc.? The tv shows you watch, the books/magazines you read...are they mentally healthy ? If so, don't lay blame on these people or things, just acknowledge it is time to distance yourself away from the mental garbage, and to fill your mind with positive and optimistic people and events. This is also true for the foods you consume. Your mind will become more clearer and effective when you feed your body nutricious food and you avoid tobacco, bad drugs and limit your caffiene intake. I speak from personal experience and i hope you take this advice.