steviegerrard489
Well-known member
Hi, I am new to the forum and thought I'd share a few of my experiences. I am a 27 year old guy living in the UK and have been suffering from shyness and sometimes anxiety for most of my life. I guess it is only the last 8 years (only lol) which have been the worst, the reason being that I went through 4 years of university hell and, for the last 4 years working in London.
In my first three years at university I barely made any friends, only acquaintences. In the final year however, I was forced to live in a particular hall of residence with a group of girls (it was the only room available). They were quite nice to me and I got to know them fairly well over 9 months. We used to go out for drinks and things. We eventually graduated and left in 2001. In all that time I have seen them maybe 5 times since, even though they live only a 20 minute train journey from me. Do you know why? Well basically the only times we meet up are if I instigate it. They NEVER email or call me to find out how I am. I was quite bitter about this the first couple of years because when we parted in 2001 I thought we were friends. Anyway, the last time I saw them was January this year (I organised).
The last time we met I was quite anxious because I knew most of the girls have boyfriends (I used to have a crush on two of them). I hate telling people that I'm single. It is a complete embarrassment. I'm quite tall, in good shape (go to gym), and girls tell me I'm good looking. I know a lot of people who would be surprised to hear that I only had one proper girlfriend. That relationship lasted just 4 weeks last April.
Basically I met this girl at a work acquaintence's party. We were both drunk and ended up kissing at the end of the night. It all happened quite quickly and I couldn't believe my luck! She gave me her number and I rang her a couple of days later. We went on a few dates and I even had her round at my place for dinner (very nerve racking experience!). I was doing quite well until one day she asked me for a coffee and told me we should finish. Naturally I was pretty upset because I know it was because of how I am (stiff/wooden). She used to talk a lot but often when she would ask me questions I had difficulty answering, eg if she asked what I did at the weekend I just wouldn't know what to say, the reason being that I didn't want to tell the truth which was, more often than not: 'I stayed in and watched TV'. Although we are no longer together I have stayed in contact with her and we do occassionally meet.
Now onto the subject of work. My career is unfortunately fairly male dominated and most of those colleagues are 10 years older than me. So opportunities to meet people my own age are pretty few and far between. I know some young people but they are only interested in their already pre-established social circles. I am thinking my only option is to leave and get another job at a different company. I made some 'friends' at a couple of other places I worked but it was more of a work friendship rather than anything that extended further outside..
So my life in general just involves living in my one bedroomed flat, going to work, coming home on a friday evening, surfing the internet or going to the gym. I just don't know what else to do with myself at weekends. What am I supposed to do if I'm on my own? What do 'normal' people do? How do I meet people my own age? I want to do things but everything is biased against single people..
I am fed up of going to work on a monday morning and being asked 'How was your weekend?' and having to make something up. It's embarrassing. I'm going to be 30 years old in a couple of years and what have I got to show for my 20's? Absolutely nothing. Everyone else I know goes to gigs, goes on holidays with their friends/grilfiends, goes to parties, live with their partners. I am lucky if I get to go to 1 party a year and then I always find it aukward because I don't know anyone.
I have seen a girl I quite like at my gym - she works there and seems very nice. It took me about 3 months to pluck up the courage to say something to her. Unfortunately she is not always there and is often busy. I want to ask her out on a date but am embarrassed that I am such a loner. I know she likes how I look but if I'm not interesting, funny or exciting it will never work.
StevieG
In my first three years at university I barely made any friends, only acquaintences. In the final year however, I was forced to live in a particular hall of residence with a group of girls (it was the only room available). They were quite nice to me and I got to know them fairly well over 9 months. We used to go out for drinks and things. We eventually graduated and left in 2001. In all that time I have seen them maybe 5 times since, even though they live only a 20 minute train journey from me. Do you know why? Well basically the only times we meet up are if I instigate it. They NEVER email or call me to find out how I am. I was quite bitter about this the first couple of years because when we parted in 2001 I thought we were friends. Anyway, the last time I saw them was January this year (I organised).
The last time we met I was quite anxious because I knew most of the girls have boyfriends (I used to have a crush on two of them). I hate telling people that I'm single. It is a complete embarrassment. I'm quite tall, in good shape (go to gym), and girls tell me I'm good looking. I know a lot of people who would be surprised to hear that I only had one proper girlfriend. That relationship lasted just 4 weeks last April.
Basically I met this girl at a work acquaintence's party. We were both drunk and ended up kissing at the end of the night. It all happened quite quickly and I couldn't believe my luck! She gave me her number and I rang her a couple of days later. We went on a few dates and I even had her round at my place for dinner (very nerve racking experience!). I was doing quite well until one day she asked me for a coffee and told me we should finish. Naturally I was pretty upset because I know it was because of how I am (stiff/wooden). She used to talk a lot but often when she would ask me questions I had difficulty answering, eg if she asked what I did at the weekend I just wouldn't know what to say, the reason being that I didn't want to tell the truth which was, more often than not: 'I stayed in and watched TV'. Although we are no longer together I have stayed in contact with her and we do occassionally meet.
Now onto the subject of work. My career is unfortunately fairly male dominated and most of those colleagues are 10 years older than me. So opportunities to meet people my own age are pretty few and far between. I know some young people but they are only interested in their already pre-established social circles. I am thinking my only option is to leave and get another job at a different company. I made some 'friends' at a couple of other places I worked but it was more of a work friendship rather than anything that extended further outside..
So my life in general just involves living in my one bedroomed flat, going to work, coming home on a friday evening, surfing the internet or going to the gym. I just don't know what else to do with myself at weekends. What am I supposed to do if I'm on my own? What do 'normal' people do? How do I meet people my own age? I want to do things but everything is biased against single people..
I am fed up of going to work on a monday morning and being asked 'How was your weekend?' and having to make something up. It's embarrassing. I'm going to be 30 years old in a couple of years and what have I got to show for my 20's? Absolutely nothing. Everyone else I know goes to gigs, goes on holidays with their friends/grilfiends, goes to parties, live with their partners. I am lucky if I get to go to 1 party a year and then I always find it aukward because I don't know anyone.
I have seen a girl I quite like at my gym - she works there and seems very nice. It took me about 3 months to pluck up the courage to say something to her. Unfortunately she is not always there and is often busy. I want to ask her out on a date but am embarrassed that I am such a loner. I know she likes how I look but if I'm not interesting, funny or exciting it will never work.
StevieG
. Luckily, I have a couple of colleagues at work who are also interested in the footy. Don't understand how anyone could not love football.
