how can I cope with this?

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Dakola

New member
Hi,

I am just wondering does anyone can tell me, are there any courses or groups in Wellington region can help? I have realized I have this weird social communication problem, or maybe it's called Social Phobia. I have problem to talk to people in a party, group meeting, or company event. I don't know how to start a conversation;when people talk to me, I don't know how to carry on a conversation either. I have this problem to 'communicate' with others, and it does affect me quite a lot. For example, if I go to a party with my bf, full of strangers, I don't know what to do, I don't even know how to introduce myself. I don't know how to talk to others or jump into a conversation. It seems really easy for others to join a conversation but seems so hard for me. Also if I want to make a phone call to my bf, it always takes me a really long time to finally dial the number, mainly I didn't know what to say if it's not him answer the phone...or even if it's him, I still have problem to talk on the phone...I will get nervous...

I've realized it's a problem rather than shyness...sometimes I force myself to talk to others in a party, and it always ends up in a very 'awkward' situation...like 'silent' and then people find an excuse walk away.

I wonder does anyone else have same problem or it's just me? If you do, how do you cope with it, any help?

Thank you.
 
T

tiggs95

Member
Hi, I am the same really. But my problem is i ramble on and on and then the next day think what the hell was i talking about. I ramble on and come out with things but i am not thinking about what i am saying and then i start thinking i have offended someone and they don't like me. I end up feeling paranoid then for ages.
 
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Dakola

New member
Actually it does make me feel a bit better after I realize I am not the only one, coz all my friends seem never have any troubles to 'talk' to others, and because of my 'shyness', i think they sore of think I am a 'strange' person. Do you guys seek for a counselling course or sth or just let it be? I really hate myself and somehow I even practice conversation topics before I go to a party, but I doesn't really work. I feel no matter how hard I force myself to talk to others, most time I just lose words by the end. How do you guys deal with this? Do you get any counselling help or join any groups to seek help?
 
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Dave02

New member
Hey Tiggs, looks like you've just figured out you may have SA, hard times. But the good news is that apparently it's totally treatable if you've got the will power. I can't really speak from experience but that's what I've read anyway. But yeah, you're totally not alone, I also read somewhere that SA affects 1 in 10 people. I've found that CBT is really useful for changing the way you view yourself and helps to reduce anxiety, but I hear it's most useful when combined with graded exposure.
 
slapstick

slapstick

Well-known member
That doesnt sound like SPhobia. U jus have a communication prolem..are you terrified of starting starting or entering a conversation or is it that you just lack social skills..2 different things
 
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