I feel so odd, I don't have many friends. Just a few, three or four. And they too are not within reach. So , when there are times when I need some company I turn online. I check fb a million time! And well I dont have such friends that will talk to me when I am feeling sad etc, and even If some are they may not be online. So online seems so weird , so unreal, unconnected, like I am desperate for some connection that I can't find online. So, well, may be I am so messed up that I can't have real life friends and never will find one. I always fight myself ,trying to tell myself that I have to learn to live with myself and not feel so empty because no matter how bad I want people , friends in my life, its their choice whether they like me or not. I am not a bad person , but they may feel I am pretty ordinary, boring and uninteresting. I can't make friends when they are not interested. It sucks when it gets so lonely.
I feel so odd, I don't have many friends. Just a few, three or four. And they too are not within reach. So , when there are times when I need some company I turn online. I check fb a million time! And well I dont have such friends that will talk to me when I am feeling sad etc, and even If some are they may not be online. So online seems so weird , so unreal, unconnected, like I am desperate for some connection that I can't find online. So, well, may be I am so messed up that I can't have real life friends and never will find one. I always fight myself ,trying to tell myself that I have to learn to live with myself and not feel so empty because no matter how bad I want people , friends in my life, its their choice whether they like me or not. I am not a bad person , but they may feel I am pretty ordinary, boring and uninteresting. I can't make friends when they are not interested. It sucks when it gets so lonely.
Ah relate to ya there, spring. Though, ah kinda feel ah make folk uncomfortable so it better fur them no' tae be aroon me at times.
I feel such pain sometimes, like an emptyness that has no end. Its hard to write down in words. Like eveything is dry, ..all things just an illusion, like I don't belong here. I don't deserve to live among other humans who are so normal. Odd one out. Nothing, nothing..no spiritual talk, no amount of any kind of love will fill the gap. If only universe decided that I be freed of this empty heart , this pointless existence.
I feel such pain sometimes, like an emptyness that has no end. Its hard to write down in words. Like eveything is dry, ..all things just an illusion, like I don't belong here. I don't deserve to live among other humans who are so normal. Odd one out. Nothing, nothing..no spiritual talk, no amount of any kind of love will fill the gap. If only universe decided that I be freed of this empty heart , this pointless existence.
Sorry yer feelin' that way, spring. Ah relate though, so yer no' the only yin.
Very irritated. I need to get my account activated by going to the bank. I can't (don't want to) bring my 2 year old but I can't leave the house because SOMEBODY is (probably) sleep. I just hate this. I can't go anywhere. I bet she's sick of having to watch him too. She doesn't do shit anyway but she has it better and she rather just sit in the house and do nothing? IF I didn't have a child I wouldn't even be home right now.
I just hate, hate, hate,hate my life. Its pathetic. I hate myself, everything about it. I can look at the bright side, be grateful all those good things but deep down I can see no way out, nothing good about my hateful pathetic self.
Every day of my life is a miserable existence. No one will ever love me anymore if they saw real me , I will never love or accept myself. I just wish I could just vanish forever.
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