- We just switched offices so everything is a mess (discombobulating)
- I am responsible for making sure a bunch of random people in our team come in to fulfill a specific responsibility, all of which they seem to want to evade because it's, like, WORK. But if they don't do it, it's on me.
- One of the guys threw a bitch-fit toward me today. I guess I was too direct in giving direction and it made him mad. Plus other stuff happened that made him mad and he took it out on me. So, I apologized to him. (See how that works there, just one way) 🙄
- Had a bathroom... emergency. I hate going in public. #1 OK no problem. #2 no one in a 200 ft vicinity. It's the first week of school so everyone is everywhere, even the secret bathrooms WTH.
- First day of school, I showed up to class. It was my old teacher and he kept calling me out in front of everyone! He complimented my skills several times over and kept referring to me! Maybe 10 times? (Does he like to embarrass people or what?!) A new employee that I supervise happened to be in that class to witness all of this. Well, surprise surprise... I was in the wrong classroom the whole time. :omg: I suspected so, but I wasn't sure until after he called role which was like 30 minutes in. He was cool about it and made it much less awkward on my way out the door than it could have been... Hopefully I don't get dropped from the class I was supposed to be in 3 hours earlier.
- More traffic.
That feels good to get it out. Thanks.
Rough day indeed, especially with the bitching guy and the awkward class situation. Sorry :/ A drink is definitely deserved. At LEAST one 😛
So sleepy, but I'm afraid to go to bed. Overwhelmed by my own bad decisions and forces outside of my control. Fat, like a ****ing walrus. Ugly. Repugnant. Hopeless. Also, I'm beginning to think more and more that I may be at least mildly autistic. Thanks for catching that one, Child Psychologist Lady. Thanks a bunch.
Hate it when people operate as a pack or little gang
Thats one of my pet hates... people who are too p iss weak to stand up on their own, but suddenly find the courage to be braver than usual when they have others around to support them. But when they are by themselves again, they magically lose that bravado..
It's the ultimate sign of cowardice.
It means that person/those people are insecure to the point of lowering their own standards of behavior just to be included.
They are nothing more than sheep.
I would rather spend 1000 lifetimes alone than pick on someone when others are, just to be included.
^ Agreed. But a lot of times once they realize you have no interest in joining their top-dog BS games, you are the one they turn on. It doesn't make me want to join them any more, but it is often an outcome.
So sleepy, but I'm afraid to go to bed. Overwhelmed by my own bad decisions and forces outside of my control. Fat, like a ****ing walrus. Ugly. Repugnant. Hopeless. Also, I'm beginning to think more and more that I may be at least mildly autistic. Thanks for catching that one, Child Psychologist Lady. Thanks a bunch.
The fact that I am in college working toward my degree and that I have a part-time job as well is really good, and if I didn't have either one of those I'd probably be worrying about it. However, now that I have these two things together, I am so stressed and am constantly busy with very little down time. And that is really aggravating my anxiety and depression.
And little incidents here and there with people are adding up in my mind and taking a toll on me emotionally, and I'm finding now I'm feeling very low and like I want to just stay in bed all day, which is the absolute last thing I can do. On my two days "off" (not really off because I have school work) I sleep in way too late, today it was past lunch time when I finally stopped hitting the snooze button. This sense of dread will not go away.
I need to go to my University Health Services and talk to them, but the thing is, when? It's a priority but so are all the other things I have to do. I'm going to make an effort to get into that office this week. I really need help. I feel like I'm cracking at the seams... again :/
Went into Sydney last night for a friend's birthday and have been awake for nearly 24 hours now. Haven't gone out for ages so it was nice to hit the city for a little while. Had a blast, but now it's snooze time....
I get this feeling of emptiness and sadness, time to time. I often think its the way of life for me. Today is such a day, a lot of things on my mind, if only I had someone to discuss with. I better not dwell on those stuff. Time to just let those topics stay as far as possible because there won't be any answers.
^It seems my life just keeps going around in circles, I keep ending up at the starting point over and over again.
Each year it becomes more apparent that the only way out of this maze is death.
I hope Uni is still going well for you, Mikey?
^It seems my life just keeps going around in circles, I keep ending up at the starting point over and over again.
Each year it becomes more apparent that the only way out of this maze is death.
I hope Uni is still going well for you, Mikey?
What's not working for you? I'm sorry you feel like you're going in circles. What do you want to break free from?
University is going well so far. On a recess break this coming week so it'll be nice to relax a bit. 🙂
Forlorn.... I am losing hope things will get better, I try, and try to make decisions to change my life for the better... But I am a failure. I backslide all the time, and getting depressed again... I had a girl friend and blew it, but it's for the better... lesser of 2 evils, but back to isolation.... 8 years now.
My life sucks and have nobody to blame but myself.
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