Havin' just attend a stand-up comedy gig in Edinburgh and enjoyed a hilariously evening of comedy, ah'm back tae feelin'... Inept. Unlikeable. Unloveable. And other feelin' associated wi' depression. Ah'm not a particularly nice person, really. Ironically, those around me think more highly of me than ah think of maself.
Ah sighed afore gittin' oot uh bed this mornin'... That better much tells ye aw ye need tae know, really. :sad:
I seriously don't know what to do anymore! I have often thought of leaving my bad habits, addictions, stupidity but it never works. I can't believe how stupid I am. It was a silly mistake but anyhow it was a mistake made by me. I am so disorganized , someone will be amazed to see me alive and doing stuff. I have no aim, purpose whatever. When people are so sure about what they want to do, I am just clueless. When I talk to people about my problems and confusions I just make a fool of myself.
And on top of that if I talk to positive people I feel pathetic.
I thought may be some planning will help me.
The foremost thing I wanted was to have some sort of career ambition. But I am stuck in a rut. Literally I feel my degree is useless.
2nd, I thought of having more people and possibly friends. It doesn't appear anyone is interested in me. Online friendship isn't the thing that works for me. I am simply too boring or may be I have nothing in my life to talk about ..so online friendship is extremely difficult.
3rd, There are lot of other things like dating etc that doesn't has any answer.
I'm lost and confused. Don't know what to believe anymore. I feel like even more of a trainwreck and need to get my life back in order. Negative thoughts have worsened in the recent months, but have since been mitigated. I feel bad for having them because I imagine people in my head judging me for them. I hope I can get over them.
Feelin a bit lonely. Not seen loads of my family in ages apart from the mother , everyones busy all the time etc. Normally im occupied with the kids but as their havin a nap a sinking feeling suddenly came over me and a craving to want to talk to someone, and have some real in the flesh company just to chat about absolutely any old shite ya know. So many lonely people on here as well...potential friends some who probably don't live too far from me but im sure i'll never find out.
Hmmm well its just a feelin that will pass and i'll try not to dwell... back to my obsession with pinterest 🙂
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