Absolutely nae f**kin' idea! Tae be honest, content but no really aw that happy. :sad:
Naebody tae talk to about ma depression because naebody gives a fu... Ah know, it's no the easiest thing tae talk aboot. Ah don't know... ah guess the fact naebody seems tae take me seriously kinda adds tae ma social awkwardness n' self-consciousness aboot masel' :idontknow:
An' ah try tae be nice, but that doesnae seem tae work. Or mair tae the point ah try n' make folk happy but end up being taken advantage of n' disappointin' folk as per. Ach! Am just ramblin' noo...
^Yeah I can relate Graeme. That's exactly how I feel right now. Also I'm feeling sort of indifferent. I don't know what that means, probably getting dettached from my current environment.
Also I'm feeling sort of indifferent. I don't know what that means, probably getting dettached from my current environment.
Aye, well, indifferent can kinda mean that. Basically it just means ya don't really care. :idontknow: The biggest irony being that comedy is the only thing that's makin' me happy right now, if at all. Which kinda sad n' pathetic, when ye really think about it... Ah suppose it's an escape fur me in alot o' ways. Ah don't know, ah guess, dealin' with a dysfunctional family's startin' tae take it toll on me.
:kickingmyself: Aaarrgh! Ah just want tae scream! :kickingmyself:
Angry, burnt out, I just want to cry and punch a hole in my wall. I'm just sick of homework. Yeah I know I got a week left of this, I just need to breathe. It's just so frustratingly stupid how much work gets piled on students anymore. For the last 3 days I've done nothing but work 8 hours each day on history homework. (And yes, I've been taking short breaks in between) I have this stupid forum discussion question left I have no idea how to even answer. I can't do it tomorrow since I won't be home at all, so it needs to be done tonight. My head hurts so much from being tired and thinking, I hate it.
I'm tired of paying people to make me work on things I don't even give a crap about. College isn't bad, it's the majority of the required courses they make you do that doesn't pertain to any of your interests or field of study that's the dumbest thing in the universe. ****ing American education system. :veryangry:
Angry, burnt out, I just want to cry and punch a hole in my wall. I'm just sick of homework. Yeah I know I got a week left of this, I just need to breathe. It's just so frustratingly stupid how much work gets piled on students anymore. For the last 3 days I've done nothing but work 8 hours each day on history homework. (And yes, I've been taking short breaks in between) I have this stupid forum discussion question left I have no idea how to even answer. I can't do it tomorrow since I won't be home at all, so it needs to be done tonight. My head hurts so much from being tired and thinking, I hate it.
I'm tired of paying people to make me work on things I don't even give a crap about. College isn't bad, it's the majority of the required courses they make you do that doesn't pertain to any of your interests or field of study that's the dumbest thing in the universe. ****ing American education system. :veryangry:
just remember that this will all be behind you soon, and it will help you get farther the rest of your life - you'll hardly remember the bad stuff 20 years from now, but you'll be glad you have the degree :thumbup:
Feeling kind of grossed out. I realized I let my brother do things to me without resisting. Today he went behind me and hugged me tight. I resisted at first but then gave up. He also touched me in places like my stomach and my head. Many times when I tell him to stop he wouldn't. I realized my relationship with my brother made me weak and very passive. It carried over to interactions with other boys and men. One time a male schoolmate who used to like me rested his head on my shoulder and breathed into my neck, the way my brother would. I didn't resist, I just ignored him. In another incident with a different guy, we were practicing some nursing skills in the classroom and I let him use my hand as a "prop". The girls went "eww" but I just sat there like a stone.
So the big realization for me is I am too nice towards guys and not very assertive myself. Which made them think I like them, when I really don't. I think my brother's bullying and dominance over me had a big impact on how I let other guys treat me. I'm definitely not ready for any relationships, but if I was in one, I know I'll be abused.
just remember that this will all be behind you soon, and it will help you get farther the rest of your life - you'll hardly remember the bad stuff 20 years from now, but you'll be glad you have the degree :thumbup:
^ Yeah I know. But man, in a way it still feels like so much time (and money!) wasted. :sad: Why waste time (and money) on the subjects that don't matter in your field of study?
At least when I go to continue my education a year from now, all or most of my future courses will be science, nutrition, and food related and I won't have to do any of this extra crap anymore.
Absolutely nae f**kin' idea! Tae be honest, content but no really aw that happy. :sad:
Naebody tae talk to about ma depression because naebody gives a fu... Ah know, it's no the easiest thing tae talk aboot. Ah don't know... ah guess the fact naebody seems tae take me seriously kinda adds tae ma social awkwardness n' self-consciousness aboot masel' :idontknow:
An' ah try tae be nice, but that doesnae seem tae work. Or mair tae the point ah try n' make folk happy but end up being taken advantage of n' disappointin' folk as per. Ach! Am just ramblin' noo...
I for one hope that you find a kind loving person who wont abuse you. In the meantime try to build your inner strength with little things, stand up for the small things you want or dont want, then move on to slightly bigger things. Build up your strength slowly.
Feelings have done a complete turn around.i went from feeling strong and positive to now feeling worthless and a complete mess.
I'm a bit of a mess ATM as well :sad:
Just read your 'thoughts' thread and sounds like you are going through a tough time, my thoughts are with you. To break up with someone you love is one of the toughest things to get over but it does get better
I'm a bit of a mess ATM as well :sad:
Just read your 'thoughts' thread and sounds like you are going through a tough time, my thoughts are with you. To break up with someone you love is one of the toughest things to get over but it does get better
Yeah things really hit the fan tonight, and unfortunately it means i move back into my mother's place which is a huge blow to me and means i have to work extra hard to get myself better. I know things will get better, it just hurts real bad right now.
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