Home is the only safe place for me, its getting this way

[ca]

hi,
I suffer from this phobia. I have been suffering for about 2 yrs now and its awefull...i have felt like i cant go to class because what if i have to pee and i cant control it and what if i pee on myself in front of everyone, then i cant go back to class because id be humiliated. And then i cant achieve my college degree and then i cant be successful in life...that is such a huge fear of mine. i also get so freaked out about car rides, short or long, i feel like oh my god i am going to pee myself right now i know it! and i get sooooo nerved up that i panic. Of course i never have wet myself EVER in the past two years i've delt with this issue. Basically what i've come to realize is that it definitely is an anxiety issue and that it all deals with mind over matter. i know that i am fully capable of holding my pee in because when i don't think about it, iam fine. my fear is that when i do think about it, my anxieties will force me to pee myself, uncontrollably. and its horrible!
I do however need to let everyone know that there is a way to deal with this...and it works! you just have to keep yourself busy....don't continue to give into your fears...tell yourself iam fine and i can control myself. take comfort in the fact that you do control yourself and what you do. your body is designed to let you know when you have to really pee. you wont be able to uncontrollably pee without you yourself deciding that you are ready to. i have sat through many car rides and many classes, that were hours long, dealing with this issue and you know what, it doesn't get easier, there is no solution. You just have to continue to tell yourself that you will never lose control of yourself, you will never urinate on yourself, uncontrollably, for you are in control of yourself and what you do.
My advice is that you never back down, give in, or give up. don't avoid situations because of your anxieties and fears. Every time i do something like go on a long car ride or sit through a long class, i am overwhelmingley over-joyed by my accomplishments in succeeding by not backing down from the situation and by facing it head on, not peeing myself and by making it through. it is my belief that running from your fears will only make things worse and add to your fears. why is it that when we were little children we never had these issues? its because we never thought about it. we just have to continue to think positively, continue to fight our fears head on and persevere. we can all live a normal life again, it wont be easy, but take comfort in the fact that its just anxiety and its just in our mind, we control our actions and we control what we do and when we do it. and so what if we do pee in our pants, is it really that serious? its not the end of the world.

 

[Liz17]

I am so relieved that others too have this phobia (or at least a similar one). My family and Friends just think its completely ridiculous, and I should 'pull myself together', but its so hard to overcome. Unfortuantely, I am now a full housebound agoraphobic due to this phobia! It started from meeting a new fella in my life in a local nightclub, and naturally being nervous I was in and out of the toilet all night thinking 'oh no, what if I embarrass myself in front of him and I cannot make it to the toilet?'. After that night the feelings got stronger and more frequent, I was on my mind 24/7.

Gradually I avoided going out altogether in fear of not making it to a close toilet in time, its now been 8 years!!!! Im only 23 and I have no life outside of my house due to this horrible phobia. Ive lost my friends through a lack of compassion, and its wearing thin with my family. People just do not understand it, its not as easy as they think to shake these thoughts away. Its brought on by fera but I cant stop the fear!!! I have no control! I do not know what to do, will this dominate my entire life? Does anybody have ANY ideas that could possible help me, it would be much appreciated, as Im getting very frustrated with myself. I dont know where too turn.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. xxx

 

[zeddi]

Same here

I have this same symptom. I have been diagnosed with Agoraphobia and have been suffering for seven years. My first major panic attack occurred when I was in college, I was 22 at the time. I was sitting in class and I felt like I had to go #2 super bad and I felt faint, my heart was beating extremely fast, I could feel the color coming out of my face and I had the cold swets. So I ran to the bathroom. I thought maybe I was just sick, but when I went back to class a few days later and it happened again I realized that I wasn’t ill that it was something serious.
It has been seven years of working on this problem and I have come up with a few techniques that help. They are not cures by any means but they are helpful. If I have to go on a plane or be in someone elses car for a long period of time I always take an anti diheria pill. This sucks because then I can be plugged up for a few days but it is better then the alternative and it calms my mind. I always have water and /or orange juice with me. For some reason if I start to panic if I drink one or the other it helps me relax (possibly because my breathing is being regulated while I am drinking). But the best thing to do is to work out. If you go for a run or do some heavy cardio work out before hand you will burn some of the adrenaline which is what adds to the intensity of your panic. Panic is a fight or flight reaction and if you don’t have much adrenaline (burning it off by working out) you are less likely to go into a full blown panic attack. I also use self talk. I have always said there are two sides to my brain. The rational side that realizes all these worries and fears I have are silly, sometimes I can make the rational side strong enough and over come some things. Then there is the irrational side which harbors all the fears and worries, this side has an easier time of winning but at least I recognize that it is irrational. I then talk to irrational side and tell myself, I can do this, I have done this before and I was just fine.
Hopefully this helps some. I wish you all the best of luck. And remember that thinking positively is the most powerful weapon we have against agoraphobia.

 

[Liz17]

Positivity is the best cure for this, your right!

Im surprised at how many people share this phobia, I thought I was weird lol! Thanks for suggesting some ideas I can try, the exercise may work, but the pills Ive tried. Sadly its only something I can use once in a while when tackling a big event, but for everyday I need something else I guess. I know it is my mind triggering the sensations off but when I tell my mind that, it also says 'it may be fear but it will result in something physical' because it sadly will! Everyone knows when your very nervous you force yourself to go to the toilet sooner, sadly this is an every day occurance. If it was just my mind and the fear didnt trigger off the physical then I would face it head on, but its the fact that it will result in that that prevents me from leaving the house.

If theirs anymore suggestions from ANYBODY it would be much appreciated!!!!!!

 

[zeddi]

One thing that I have also started doing is eating a high fiber cereal every morning. This has regulated me and helps me know when I will need to go and I also try to drink as much water as possible in a day. I have cut out junk food and any other foods that rush through my system (fast food is the worst). You can control how often you go and when you go by diet. If I am out with friends or family and we go out to eat I eat a light sandwich or salad, I know this won't go through me quickly. Looking into this and getting on a schedule might ease your mind and make it easier. I know this has helped me. As long as I have gone before I leave the house I feel more confident and I don't have to worry about it.

 

[no1]

I hate my f*cking home.. it's like haunted. Well not really "haunted" but I always feel lonely and desperate when I'm at home for too long.. I go crazy.

 

[Liz17]

I have picked up on certain foods that I must avoid before attempting an outing, but I really need some help with a specific diet. I thought that my doctor would give me some advise but sadly I think that they beleive Im merely a hypochondriac. Which obviously isnt the case, there useless when you actually need them. You would assume one thing the doctors would always provide a person with is a counsellor, mine no....theyve never offered that to me and Ive been in the house for like 7-8 years. I wish their were somewhere else to seek help and advise!

 

[zeddi]

Where do you live? Maybe we can help you find more support. I can tell you what my diet is like, see if that helps. If you would like to chat you can add me on MSN messenger at [email protected] or email me at that address.

 

[Liz17]

If you dont mind, anything would help. Thanks so much, its nice to speak to someone that grasps it!

p.s Im from Yorkshire in England.

 

[zeddi]

I live in North Dakota, USA, so I don't know exactly how things work in England. We have human service cetners that offer discount or free counciling (depending on your income). So I tried to find something similar in the UK. I found this website which is in North Yorkshire, not sure how close that is to you, but maybe if you called them they could direct you to somewhere closer. I found this email address [email protected]
For information about accessing social care services in North Yorkshire and this is the website I found http://www.northyorks.gov.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3112
I hope this is helpful, if not I'll help you keep looking.

 

[Liz17]

Thats amazing, thanks for all the help I really appreciate it.

 

[Kage8]

I'm only 16, and this problem has ruined my life since I've been in year 6 at school (about 11.) I think it started with a school assembly where my teacher wouldn't let me go and I had to hang on for 40 minutes, desperately needing to go! (This may be me remembering it wrong; I'm not %100)

I've been scarred for life since then, always going more than other people, always afraid to go to the loo if people knew I was going. I'm medically fine, no history of diabetes or anything so I just cannot understand it.

I get so worried all the time, exams are the worst. I didn't achieve half of what I could have done in GCSEs because I worried about it so much and now I'm in college - got an exam tomorrow, and I'm terrified!

I need help desperately!!! I feel the only people I can ask are people who have experienced the 'condition'. Has anybody got any advice or methods to overcome the condition?

 

[Liz17]

I really wish I did, that way we could both go on with life like anybody else. Its alot harder to deal with than what people may think, its also one of those things that will always be met with a laugh rather than trying to understand how it impedes our lives. I wish their was some permenant cure but sadly their isnt. Thinking about going to the toilet all the time is a behaviour that has been learnt, I know that but how to not have the behaviour anymore is what we need to know. But with a lack of help and knowledge from professionals...where do we start?