Home atmosphere

[recluse]

What kind of atmosphere do you have in your home, happy? Positive? or sad? depressing?

I'll be looking forwards to coming home from work and i come back to an unhappy house, and the cause of that is my parents. Since i remember from a young age my parents have not exactly been loving to each other. My dad tends to be neglectfull of my mother and my mother gets angry and depressed which in turn ruins any positive feelings i have. I'm so sick of living under the same roof as my parents. I just wish my dad would take my mother on holiday or something, or atleast treat her to a meal, but he just does not seem to understand that she needs to be treated. My dad's on a good wage in the place he has worked for over 30 years so it's not as if he has no money. My parents have not slept in the same bed since i was a kid either...It feels like they are not a couple and that they are just sharing the house. This in turn makes me very cynical towards relationships and definately does not help my sa.

 

[coriander1992]

I'm sorry that your mum and dad recluse

My home atmosphere changes between being posotive and negative, but it is usually negative.

 

[miss_amy]

Your parents sounds very much like mine were. Very negative atmosphere. I didn't quite realise how negative it was until after I left. At the time its what I knew as normal. My dad was like the controller. He never gave my mum any money even though she worked. If it was someones birthday she was never even able to ask for money to buy a gift etc. I don't remember him ever taking her out or buying her anything. He splashed money around like no ones business, though not on things that benefitted the family. My mother finally woke up after 30 years of marriage and left him, way after I left home . She came home and he was in bed with someone. I said to her how much are you going to take you silly woman and she finally listened. Shes now making positive steps to improve her life. My ex was very similar to my dad, treated me badly, kept all the money and scared me in to just complying. Thank god he left me or I'd probably still be there.

Home life now is totally different. Home is my haven and I feel really safe. My home is somewhere I chose and is full of character. I'm determined my kids won't grow up with all that negativity.

Do you have any options of leaving?

 

[shon]

My mother finally woke up after 30 years of marriage and left him, way after I left home . She came home and he was in bed with someone. I said to her how much are you going to take you silly woman and she finally listened. Shes now making positive steps to improve her life.

That sounds familiar . My mom divorced my dad after 29 yrs of marriage. He admitted that he was having an affair and her life has been much better since he left. He's been married to the woman he cheated with for 7 yrs.

I wanted her to divorce him when I was a kid but it didn't happen until I was 23 and on my own.

 

[gobbledegook]

My parents have been close to divorce since I was a kid, so I suppose my household isn't happy some of the time...:?

 

[scorpion]

My home atmosfhere......

Well this will take time, but I will try to keep it short.

My dad beated my mum since I can remember, ten years ago, my mum reported himto the police for the first time. The real problems started there. He left home for a couple of months, then returned, went to live in the attick with another woman and her two kids. During all of this my mother ask for a divorce a puted him in court for mental and fisical abuse.

I am not going to report all of the efforts the two have made to kick my mother and me out of the house, but just you know, the last one was to shot my car.
The problem is that the house also belongs to him, and in my country the court cant kick him out.
So we have to put up with this infernal situation, we have no peace, we have to put up with my father and his bitch trying to kick us out of our home.

And I am not going to enter in the details of the everyday mental torture we have to stand.

And to paint the all picture, I have APD, nobody knows, and people look up to me to be their safe anchor, their support. Ironic isnt it?

So I guess my home atmosphere is very negative. And I have been suporting it for the last years and still given strength and support to my mum and gran, and I still have time to be a shoulder to a couple more.
But I have no shoulder, no safe anchor no one to talk to except this place.

So boys and girls, old on, be strong and dont give up. Its hard as hell, but its possible.

 

[recluse]

Your parents sounds very much like mine were. Very negative atmosphere. I didn't quite realise how negative it was until after I left. At the time its what I knew as normal. My dad was like the controller. He never gave my mum any money even though she worked. If it was someones birthday she was never even able to ask for money to buy a gift etc. I don't remember him ever taking her out or buying her anything. He splashed money around like no ones business, though not on things that benefitted the family. My mother finally woke up after 30 years of marriage and left him, way after I left home . She came home and he was in bed with someone. I said to her how much are you going to take you silly woman and she finally listened. Shes now making positive steps to improve her life. My ex was very similar to my dad, treated me badly, kept all the money and scared me in to just complying. Thank god he left me or I'd probably still be there.

Home life now is totally different. Home is my haven and I feel really safe. My home is somewhere I chose and is full of character. I'm determined my kids won't grow up with all that negativity.

Do you have any options of leaving?

I'm scared of not being able to afford my own place, and i have no one i can share with.

 

[krs2snow]

Recluse! I don't want to sound mean here, especially because I think you are so cute! But aren't you in your later 20's? You NEED to move into your own space! It will do you- and your family relations- a load of good!! Get OUT of your their home and get IN to your own space!

It's Time!

 

[miss_amy]

I agree, I think its a priority you should work on. Even if you look for a room as a lodger in someone elses house or a small bedsit. A single person can live cheaply. It doesn't have to be expensive and you could find somewhere quiet where you are not expected to socialise with the others.

Living in such a negative atmosphere keeps you so down. If you had a base that you could feel is your safe space it might free you up to start feeling better about life.

How about looking around, doing some sums and seeing what you can do....then decide.

 

[sazishy]

sometimes it aint that easy to get a place of your own.
no money,cant get housed etc