Another newbie here stumbling onto the website. What to do, what to say. Time to introduce myself.
This is a little long and detailed for an introduction. What can I say; I'm a very detailed person.
My name is Emily (but here on the interwebs people call me Ems). I'm a 20 year old gal from The Netherlands, and I was first diagnosed with a good old social anxiety disorder when I was 16, a year after I had to drop out of high school and becoming increasingly reclusive. Age 15/16/17 was definitely the darkest time of my life. The way I used to describe feeling at the time was that I felt as if my body was still physically alive but mentally I had already passed away. It was a total a one-foot-in-the-grave deal.
Other than my SAD diagnose, seeing psychologists/psychiatrists unfortunately hasn't done much for me, which has made me feel a little hopeless about the situation. What did absolutely change my life for the better is being on medication. I started taking Paroxetine when I was 17, and had a very gradual and long adjustment period. It wasn't until a good year later that I had a moment when I realized how much more relaxed and in control I was of myself than the year before.
People tend to very aggressively go against the idea that SSRIs are sedative; and technically they aren't in how they work, but it definitely does feel that way to me. And as I now know many others fear the same, I used to refuse trying medication because I thought it would make me a different person. I'd say it moreso feels like the heightened emotions in my social anxiety that used to drive me crazy are kinda numbed. Like, the disorder is there - I've been living in complete isolation (excluding my father) for a while now; as far as I can remember I've been outside my house for non-psychiatrist/doctor visit related reasons just once in the past 2 years. I don't feel the anxiety as much, but it's fully present, and it doesn't mean the government doesn't have a big fat 100% incapacitated for work stamp next to my name. Anyway, it does make me feel better. Shout-out to SSRIs for giving me some room to breathe.
*Game show jingle* Random facts: I also have a selective eating disorder. I spend my days blogging about the tv show Glee, and talking to people who are as crazily obsessed with it as I am. I get super annoyed when people point out the negatives in everything and try to find reasons to hate things. There has been a spider on my ceiling throughout this entire post and I am absolutely terrified of spiders; Here's a shout-out to that spider: You suck, bro. I'd be happy to place bets on me and my dad in a Best Father/Daughter Relationship in the World contest. I have absolutely no desire to label my sexuality for the convenience of others. I have a quite extreme aversion to smoking/drinking/drugs. I have a really fat cat and he couldn't possibly care less about the spider on the ceiling (BETRAYAL). I'm very bad at drawing/painting, but I know my way around photoshop like the back of my hand. I can't write fiction, but I do have a way with words. I don't have a favorite color but I always say red, just because it's my dad's favorite color. *End signal jingle*
There's that. Beneath all the crazy that has developed itself in my brain over the years, the roots lie in social anxiety, so here I am, my fellow social anxiety kittens who cared enough to read all this info about a random person on the internet.
This is a little long and detailed for an introduction. What can I say; I'm a very detailed person.
My name is Emily (but here on the interwebs people call me Ems). I'm a 20 year old gal from The Netherlands, and I was first diagnosed with a good old social anxiety disorder when I was 16, a year after I had to drop out of high school and becoming increasingly reclusive. Age 15/16/17 was definitely the darkest time of my life. The way I used to describe feeling at the time was that I felt as if my body was still physically alive but mentally I had already passed away. It was a total a one-foot-in-the-grave deal.
Other than my SAD diagnose, seeing psychologists/psychiatrists unfortunately hasn't done much for me, which has made me feel a little hopeless about the situation. What did absolutely change my life for the better is being on medication. I started taking Paroxetine when I was 17, and had a very gradual and long adjustment period. It wasn't until a good year later that I had a moment when I realized how much more relaxed and in control I was of myself than the year before.
People tend to very aggressively go against the idea that SSRIs are sedative; and technically they aren't in how they work, but it definitely does feel that way to me. And as I now know many others fear the same, I used to refuse trying medication because I thought it would make me a different person. I'd say it moreso feels like the heightened emotions in my social anxiety that used to drive me crazy are kinda numbed. Like, the disorder is there - I've been living in complete isolation (excluding my father) for a while now; as far as I can remember I've been outside my house for non-psychiatrist/doctor visit related reasons just once in the past 2 years. I don't feel the anxiety as much, but it's fully present, and it doesn't mean the government doesn't have a big fat 100% incapacitated for work stamp next to my name. Anyway, it does make me feel better. Shout-out to SSRIs for giving me some room to breathe.
*Game show jingle* Random facts: I also have a selective eating disorder. I spend my days blogging about the tv show Glee, and talking to people who are as crazily obsessed with it as I am. I get super annoyed when people point out the negatives in everything and try to find reasons to hate things. There has been a spider on my ceiling throughout this entire post and I am absolutely terrified of spiders; Here's a shout-out to that spider: You suck, bro. I'd be happy to place bets on me and my dad in a Best Father/Daughter Relationship in the World contest. I have absolutely no desire to label my sexuality for the convenience of others. I have a quite extreme aversion to smoking/drinking/drugs. I have a really fat cat and he couldn't possibly care less about the spider on the ceiling (BETRAYAL). I'm very bad at drawing/painting, but I know my way around photoshop like the back of my hand. I can't write fiction, but I do have a way with words. I don't have a favorite color but I always say red, just because it's my dad's favorite color. *End signal jingle*
There's that. Beneath all the crazy that has developed itself in my brain over the years, the roots lie in social anxiety, so here I am, my fellow social anxiety kittens who cared enough to read all this info about a random person on the internet.
