JulianiGiovanni
New member
I've always had a bad phobia of HIV but this year its been the worst its ever been.
This is my situaiton: On May 20th, I attended an AIDS walk, while i was there, i noticed they had a testing tent set up where you could get tested for HIV via a rapid test. I had never taken a rapid test before, all my tests had been done the traditional way. I walked up to the tent and was checking it out and an african american man comes up to me and says "are you thinking about getting tested today" i say "yeah" and he leads me into the tent and into a closed off area, closes the curtain behind us, and we sit down while he gets ready. I wasent real sure what to expect so i just sat there kinda nervous. I watched him put on his gloves, clean my finger with a little alcohol pad and
I see him getting supplies out of plastic bags behind him but cant see what he's doing.
he pulls out a unigold test, a suction straw, and two lancets (none of this was packaged together and i didnt see him remove the caps from either lancet)
he looks at one of the lancets odd while holding the other in his hand, sets it on the table, and uses the one in his hand on me. He does the test, drops the lancet he used on me in a small plastic bucket with others, I ask if i can keep my test since i'd never taken one like that before and he replies "I'd let you have it if i could but its considered bio hazard material and i have to throw it away" and he sends me on my way.
After i think about this, it starts to really freak me out and i get these thoughts running through my head:
"What if the needle wasent clean?"
"What if he was prejudice and intentionally hurt me with a dirty one?"
"What if the needles weren't the ones he was issued, he'd brought in others and they were hollow bore and not sterile"
"He could have made those and used them on me"
"would he take advantage of the fact I said i've never taken a rapid test to infect me"
After a while it ate at me and ate at me and ate at me, to the point my fear had gotten so bad i was vomiting daily from bad nerves thinking i was infected from someone who was suppose to help prevent HIV.
I called the Aids project who put on the walk and asked them about the lancets (before this incident i had no idea what a lancet even was) and they told me all their lancets were single use and i had nothing to worry about. Still. I cant let it go. I found out the man that tested me works with homosexual and bisexual men and again it went through my head that maybe he could have been prejudice against me for being a heterosexual white woman and would have the intent to hurt me.
To this day, im still losing sleep over it even though I've been all over the internet and they all say the same thing "no way, no how". I just cant let it go. Does anyone else have this kind of an issue with their OCD?
This is my situaiton: On May 20th, I attended an AIDS walk, while i was there, i noticed they had a testing tent set up where you could get tested for HIV via a rapid test. I had never taken a rapid test before, all my tests had been done the traditional way. I walked up to the tent and was checking it out and an african american man comes up to me and says "are you thinking about getting tested today" i say "yeah" and he leads me into the tent and into a closed off area, closes the curtain behind us, and we sit down while he gets ready. I wasent real sure what to expect so i just sat there kinda nervous. I watched him put on his gloves, clean my finger with a little alcohol pad and
I see him getting supplies out of plastic bags behind him but cant see what he's doing.
he pulls out a unigold test, a suction straw, and two lancets (none of this was packaged together and i didnt see him remove the caps from either lancet)
he looks at one of the lancets odd while holding the other in his hand, sets it on the table, and uses the one in his hand on me. He does the test, drops the lancet he used on me in a small plastic bucket with others, I ask if i can keep my test since i'd never taken one like that before and he replies "I'd let you have it if i could but its considered bio hazard material and i have to throw it away" and he sends me on my way.
After i think about this, it starts to really freak me out and i get these thoughts running through my head:
"What if the needle wasent clean?"
"What if he was prejudice and intentionally hurt me with a dirty one?"
"What if the needles weren't the ones he was issued, he'd brought in others and they were hollow bore and not sterile"
"He could have made those and used them on me"
"would he take advantage of the fact I said i've never taken a rapid test to infect me"
After a while it ate at me and ate at me and ate at me, to the point my fear had gotten so bad i was vomiting daily from bad nerves thinking i was infected from someone who was suppose to help prevent HIV.
I called the Aids project who put on the walk and asked them about the lancets (before this incident i had no idea what a lancet even was) and they told me all their lancets were single use and i had nothing to worry about. Still. I cant let it go. I found out the man that tested me works with homosexual and bisexual men and again it went through my head that maybe he could have been prejudice against me for being a heterosexual white woman and would have the intent to hurt me.
To this day, im still losing sleep over it even though I've been all over the internet and they all say the same thing "no way, no how". I just cant let it go. Does anyone else have this kind of an issue with their OCD?
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