Highly strung at the moment

[milly23]

Sorry think i posted in wrong forum I am not really socially anxious.....just anxious in every other way!

Hi everyone, I have never posted in this kind of forum before so sorry if my story is long winded and boring.

I am 32 and married with a 3 year old daughter and we live with my Dad. As you can probably imagine this is the source of most of my anxiety. My dad is incredibly suffocating and I feel like he is watching us 24 hours a day.
All my life there have been many problems and I feel that I am becoming more and more weighed down by them. I have no friends as I cut all of them off when I was in my 20's as I felt strange compared to them all moving on with their life and me stuck in a rut.
I have tried my best to stop talking to my husband about this stuff as his personality is the polar opposite to me (you could say, thick skinned ) as I started to realise that it was almost all we were talking about.
Most of my anxiety stems from me feeling like I am losing control of situations and recently my husband is starting something (work related) which I am certain will bring a conflict with my dad and I feel like I just want to scream.

I dont go out much as I just cant get up the motivation very much.
Most people would say just move out and I wish I could, but I am just such a coward and hate any confrontation. Also my dad is bearable and maybe even nice some of the time and he really has no one else and I dont think I can hurt him like that even though I am so unhappy.

I think he more than likely has anxiety as well but his personality is not weak like me so he dominates me by his mood swings.

I did have a crazy confrontation with him a few years ago and he started to behave himself, but its starting to wear off now and I dont know how much more I can handle
Thanks for listening just needed someone to talk to

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Hi Milly

I was just wondering what exactly keeps you and your husband from moving out, since it seems it would resolve a big part of your problem.

I know I tried once to go back to my parent's because I was broke and didn't know where I was heading, and they drove me crazy after less than a week. I was gone the week after. From what I can read here, staying with parents forever when you have social anxiety sounds like the worst idea ever.

 

[milly23]

Hi, thanks very much for the reply, there are quite a few reasons, most probably dont amount to much more than fear ( i have always lived at home), but the main ones are that my dad is basically alone without us, we come from a background where its not unusual to live with parents, me and my husband could struggle financially to live alone and although this might sound like I love myself (trust me I dont) me and my husband are too good natured to hurt my dad like that.

Sometimes i feel like I just want to have a huge argument with him so that I can cut ties with him, but I also fear it. My sister cut ties with us over 10 years ago now and I think a number of our problems stem from there, I feel I couldnt do that to him again.

 

[Diend]

I can defn. Relate to a vigilant dad as i have one myself. It can feel suffocating to live under his watchful eye. Have you considered a change in diet or medication?

 

[milly23]

To be honest I have never considered a change of diet or medication, because in some ways I put it all down to the environment I am living in. My husband never lets my dad get him down like I do but thats probably because there is not the years of baggage between them like there is between me and my dad.
Sorry you have an overbearing father too, its so hard to get out from under them, because most of your life you learn just to tiptoe around them and on top of that I dont know about your dad but mine tries to guilt trip me all the time.
Thank you for the reply