Hi, I'm new...

[Seagull]

I'm feeling fed up tonight.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me, or why I have started to react in ways I don't understand in social situations. Maybe someone here might be able to help. Here's my story.

I am a happy confident person, normally. But my life has not been easy for the past four years, and I am wondering if this maybe what is causing (or adding to) my current problem.

4 years ago I lost the love of my life in an accident, his body was never found. This has complicated my grieving process because not only was it unexpected, but also I never had any proof that this is what happened. However, day to day I think I am coping quite well and I really believe that I have moved on. (New relationship and life etc).

6 months after he died, I almost died myself from something completely unexpected. I ended up spending a month in hospital, and a following 7 months at home recovering from major surgery. The whole experience was compounded by the hospital not being able to diagnose the problem straight away, and it took several close calls before they rushed me into surgery and sorted the problem. Because my grief was so bad at this point, I really didnt care if I lived or if I died.

I am now three years on from that experience, and only still in my twenties. I have a great group of freinds who have supported me through everything.

For the past year and a half I have worked in a high pressured job. Whilst away at meetings, I began to feel myself getting very anxious and flushed and my heart was racing. I was often desperate to leave the room and prayed that no one would ask me a question or draw attention to me.

I put this down to the job being stressful, and I have since moved to working as a teacher (which strangely enough doesn't have the same response, even though I am the centre of attention!)

Now I am finding the fear of the sweats and panic attacks I used to feel in my job, has spread to other areas of my life, like socialising with friends and going to parties. Last weekend, I was supposed to be at a party for one of my closest friends birthday's, but made an excuse and didnt go, as I felt anxious about the party all day, until I knew I had to get out of it.

This is becoming uncomfortable for both me and my friends (and my bf, who is having to make excuses for me all the time, and he is actually spending more time with my frinds than I ever do now!)

I feel quite desperate about this tonight. If anyone can explain to me why I am feeling like this, and maybe give me some advice I am all ears...

 

[Boundless]

Well firstly hello and welcome to this forum,it sounds like you've had a bad 4 years indeed and altho its not happend to me i can imagin how it must feel,high stress jobs can have that effect on people thats why problems like ours and other stress related illness's are on the rise.Sorry i dont have any usefull information for you but no doubt some 1 on here will.

 

[Lost_Nomad]

Hi seagull welcome to the forum. :wink: I dont realy have any advice but i do feel for you. You can find a lot of support and people that can identify with your problem here. were all your friends here.

 

[paul]

Hello seagull,

That's so sad about the accident, I really am truly sorry.

However, day to day I think I am coping quite well and I really believe that I have moved on.

That's definitely very good, if the same thing happened to me I don't know if I'd be able to do that.

Anyway...

I put this down to the job being stressful, and I have since moved to working as a teacher

I know what you mean! I'm only 13, but when I'm around people much younger or much older than me, I do not feel very nervous. Maybe your social anxiety is an age-oriented thing? It definitely is in my case.

If you don't already know, you're definitely not alone. I can relate exactly to the party thing, in fact recently I was invited to somebody's birthday party and I wanted to go but said I couldn't.

Unfortunately there is no real explanation for SA, but what you are going through may be social anxiety. If you can, you might want to talk to a therapist or something like that.

It doesn't seem like your SA is related to the accident, as you said you're coping well and after a tragedy like that it would be more PTSD than SA.


Good luck with everything, I hope this helped at least a little!

 

[redlady]

I would just like to welcome you first and say hello. Now i would like to be lazy and say that i agree with paul - i think that it is a good idea to think about getting some therapy, it is a good thing that you are coping but these things have a way of resurfacing. The experience is still inside of you somewhere - it does'nt go away no matter how well you think you are coping and dealing with it. It needs to be addressed.
I also agree with paul about the possibility of you suffering from post traumatic stress disorder as i said i think therapy would be a good option for you to explore, so you can heal from what you have gone through. It really sounds as though your recent problems are a manifestation of everything you have gone through.