hi i just wondered if sum ppl could help with sum questions?

[Anonymous]

ok well i used to get really shy amd go bright red with embarrasment sometimes if someone even looked at me in class and sometimes at somethig so small i just go red and feel embarrassed. i cant look people in the eye when i talk (esp. teachers what is it with the whole eye contct thing?!) and i find it hard talking to new people.

i just wondered what is it that makes people like this? ive read a few more posts and it seems there are a lot of people the same/similar problems, so there has to be a trigger? is there anyway you could prevent say a young child from being subject to such 'symptons' (yeh couldnt think of another word) or even curing and adult of it.

so if someone could let me know....
thanx
sara

 

[Anonymous]

Giving eye contact allows the other person to read our body language, connect with us and makes them feel as we are responding to them. It makes a link between the two people having a conversation. Being shy or social phobic can mean that we dont maintain eye contact as we dont want others to acknowledge certain things. Its a way of hiding. Eye contact can also be quite threatening. Alot of what people feel can be expressed by the eyes.

I dont think there is much you can do to protect children or cure adults. Children generally need to be brought up knowing that they are loved and secure. This is the most important thing for a child. I also believe that it is very important not to be over protective. I believe this is one of the main things that cause us to be shy. We never really come out of our shell because we are watched because our parents care too much. Sometimes i think parents force their children to do things that make them happy or proud such as being in a school play etc. They need to be aware of their childs personality as forcing can lead to bad experiences and fear when reapproached with the situation. Just as we sometimes know we can say things to some people but offend others we should base this level with children. I may be totally wrong because a range of factors could cause someone to be like this. It is all due to our unique personalities and experiences. Even if a loving secure home is provided outside experiences can be enough to make people shy.

As for curing adults. It is very difficult. Im know where near it. I think we are too stuck in our ways. I think gradually we have to learn to trust people and try to undertsand that if it all goes wrong there is nothing you can do about it and must move on.

i dont know whether i have said anything useful, sorry

 

[Anonymous]

Hiya!
Hiya!

Here is some information that might help. Actually it’s part of this website. I’m not sure but you might have social phobia…(it’s important to get a professional opinion. I’m just a layperson at this...). Just for your personal information, it good to look at these sites.


Here is a definition and the symptoms of social phobia.
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/social-phobia-symptoms.php

Here is a website for the treatment of social phobia.
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/social-phobia-treatment.php

Good luck!

 

[Tris]

Thats the problem i had when i was in school, just whatever you do DONT GIVE UP! get help!!! believe me i wish i did!

My sister also has the same problem and what she does is puts herself on the spot sometimes, she said its hard but it helps alittle, that way she doesnt get called on without knowning the answer and that always makes it worse, and the teacher doesnt call on her as much because she is putting atleast a little input in...now me on the other hand, would try to hide and that never works.

 

[Anonymous]

thax everyone for replying yeh its helpful im curious to know whether people had such symptons and stuff in the last 20 + or so years. but yeh thanx... maybe it wont be so bad my my evil science teacher had left... the amount of times she made me answer i felt lik pouring acid on her..... grrrr..

 

[Noise_Terrorist]

I dont think there is much you can do to protect children or cure adults. Children generally need to be brought up knowing that they are loved and secure. This is the most important thing for a child. I also believe that it is very important not to be over protective. I believe this is one of the main things that cause us to be shy. We never really come out of our shell because we are watched because our parents care too much. Sometimes i think parents force their children to do things that make them happy or proud such as being in a school play etc. They need to be aware of their childs personality as forcing can lead to bad experiences and fear when reapproached with the situation. Just as we sometimes know we can say things to some people but offend others we should base this level with children. I may be totally wrong because a range of factors could cause someone to be like this. It is all due to our unique personalities and experiences. Even if a loving secure home is provided outside experiences can be enough to make people shy.

You are right. Over-protecting a child is a bad thing for a parent to do. Being an only child, I was over-protected by my parents. It was purely out of love, but I had no independance, and never came out of my shell, and still haven't, and I'm positive that this has contributed to my SP.

On the opposite end of the spectrum however, I know an only child who was over-protected, and she ended up running away from home. :?