jare
Member
I've been looking through this site for a while and am finally drawing the courage to share my experience with social phobia. I am 23 years old and I have had social phobia my entire life, or for as long as I can remember. I was always the shy, quiet kid that never really talked to anyone in class. I am a college dropout because of my social phobia and depression and am currently working at a warehouse full time and living at home with my mom and sister, and this situation really brings down my self esteem. I have been at home for about two years now since I dropped out and am really looking forward to returning to school in the fall although I am quite apprehensive about it.
I feel like I can't make it on my own because of my severe case of social phobia that has caused me to avoid everything my whole life, including learning proper life skills. I cringe whenever I have to do something as simple as use the phone to call someone and ask a question. I know I can get through college but I feel like I'm mentally retarded when it comes to life. Because of everything I struggle with I have serious doubts about the future even if I do graduate. Surviving a career in a professional setting seems impossible. I have never really had any true friends in my life and have never dated or had a girlfriend. Having a healthy relationship with someone seems impossible because I did not grow up with proper relationship skills instilled instilled in me. My options seem quite limited because of who I am.
The main culprit to my situation being stuck the way it is comes from my lack of social skills. I am quite deficient and cannot fathom how I am supposed to improve in this area to the point where I am adequate in social situations. When I talk to people I feel retarded. I am quite slow to speak, have trouble thinking about what to say and struggle when I am trying to say it. I have recently gotten to the point where I stutter sometimes at work, where again I hardly talk anyway. All of this while battling the intense anxiety I constantly feel. My job is so boring that I basically zone out the whole time, which more and more seems to be becoming an activity I do in my free time as well. I am so bored all the time and lack the motivation and energy to do much of anything. It has been this way for years. I am so far away from outside life that it is just pathetic. It is also difficult for me to get interested in anything. If you asked me what my interests are I would probably just shrug my shoulders.
My life will be changing in a few months and I really hope I'm ready for it. I already know it will be difficult for me as everything seems to be. I have been seeing a therapist for seven months to help me work through my issues and without her support I wouldn't have made the progress needed to return to school this fall and I might have still been stuck in a dead end job not talking to anyone and stuck at home isolating my life away.
I have never reached out to anyone about this stuff outside of therapy and this is actually my first time posting anything on the internet. I guess my anxiety in real life extends into cyberspace as well lol. I am really not good at connecting with people in real life or on the internet so any support would be appreciated. I have never used or posted on a forum before so it will take me a while to get used to it.
Despite all my doubts I really do want to connect with people and I have dreams and aspirations that I would like to fulfill someday. I feel a little better after venting about my stuff and would like to send my greetings to everyone on this forum.
I feel like I can't make it on my own because of my severe case of social phobia that has caused me to avoid everything my whole life, including learning proper life skills. I cringe whenever I have to do something as simple as use the phone to call someone and ask a question. I know I can get through college but I feel like I'm mentally retarded when it comes to life. Because of everything I struggle with I have serious doubts about the future even if I do graduate. Surviving a career in a professional setting seems impossible. I have never really had any true friends in my life and have never dated or had a girlfriend. Having a healthy relationship with someone seems impossible because I did not grow up with proper relationship skills instilled instilled in me. My options seem quite limited because of who I am.
The main culprit to my situation being stuck the way it is comes from my lack of social skills. I am quite deficient and cannot fathom how I am supposed to improve in this area to the point where I am adequate in social situations. When I talk to people I feel retarded. I am quite slow to speak, have trouble thinking about what to say and struggle when I am trying to say it. I have recently gotten to the point where I stutter sometimes at work, where again I hardly talk anyway. All of this while battling the intense anxiety I constantly feel. My job is so boring that I basically zone out the whole time, which more and more seems to be becoming an activity I do in my free time as well. I am so bored all the time and lack the motivation and energy to do much of anything. It has been this way for years. I am so far away from outside life that it is just pathetic. It is also difficult for me to get interested in anything. If you asked me what my interests are I would probably just shrug my shoulders.
My life will be changing in a few months and I really hope I'm ready for it. I already know it will be difficult for me as everything seems to be. I have been seeing a therapist for seven months to help me work through my issues and without her support I wouldn't have made the progress needed to return to school this fall and I might have still been stuck in a dead end job not talking to anyone and stuck at home isolating my life away.
I have never reached out to anyone about this stuff outside of therapy and this is actually my first time posting anything on the internet. I guess my anxiety in real life extends into cyberspace as well lol. I am really not good at connecting with people in real life or on the internet so any support would be appreciated. I have never used or posted on a forum before so it will take me a while to get used to it.
Despite all my doubts I really do want to connect with people and I have dreams and aspirations that I would like to fulfill someday. I feel a little better after venting about my stuff and would like to send my greetings to everyone on this forum.
Last edited:
