hey

[Si_mon]

hey

Im a 21 year old guy from the midlands of England who last year developed social phobia. I have made huge progress in dealing with this condition and now only have shyness/ small traces of social anxiety although I do occasionaly struggle with it.

Although I feel a lot more comfortable in most situations especially social situations, I still have trouble when it comes to chatting up women.... I can almost never initiate contact with a woman that I am attracted to.

If I take attraction out of the equation then I can talk to women ok so I know that this is psychological. I was wonderin if I shud try and spk to them as a m8 first then make a move on them? any advice on this would be awesome!

Is there anythin that you guys on here can recommend?

do u think that I shud attempt to face up to this fear directly or take a less direct approach?

also do u think that getting to be mates or friendly with a girl generally (instead of chatting her up strait up) b4 i ask her cud be acting under false pretenses if misinterpeted or do u think that this is an easier way to win over a girl ( or guy if u r female/gay male)?

I have tried this method and tend to get mixed reactions.

i know that a lot of ppl on here have similar probs. so any responses could be beneficial to many.

P.S I have had limited success with women b4 but i still struggle especially when it comes to initating contact.

Thanks and if u need ne help with ne thin to do with overcoming shyness then let me know.

Si

 

[Si_mon]

probably not the best thing to ask on a site where most of the ppl are suffering with the same thing and probably asking the same question to themselves.

 

[sensitive]

exactly!

 

[friendlyshygirl]

Hey

You're not alone

I'm a girl and I have social phobia when it comes to men. I can't even look them in the eye to talk to them I get so nervous..........sometimes I just avoid them to not have a conversation.

 

[Si_mon]

sensitive- I didn't mean it as a wind up when I asked the question.... I just know that not evry1 who has SA has full blown SA and may only have it when it comes to presentations or making speeches and maybe not when it comes to sociallising... they may b ok with goin into a pub or small club and chattin up women, even if they have to win the women over gradually speaking to them when seeing them around b4 making the move. I was wondering if there was ne 1 like that on here who was like that.

friendlyshygirl- it's reassuring to know that I am not the only one in this situation. s'pose it shows that it can affect ne one at ne time!