Helping People in Danger

[black_mamba]

This is something that happened to me a few weeks ago, I am very embarrassed about it and ashamed of myself but I figured that if I want to improve my confidence I should try dealing with it:

So black mamba is sitting in a quiet secluded church garden in the middle of town, minding her own business, playing with her new sketch book and admiring the cool birdies that had congregated to eat people's leftover sandwiches.

A scruffy looking gentleman was sitting on another bench a few metres away from me and I wondered whether he was homeless...then another guy approaches him and puts him into a headlock. The first guy is now saying 'I don't have your money, go away, leave me alone' and the second guy starts biting him on the nose! At this point he is shouting for help and I can't quite figure out if they are friends joking about because it seemed so surreal. Looking around, there was a group of young men/teenagers and a mother and child, and me, and I couldn't believe the group of men didn't help. I completely shat myself 8O I couldn't do anything, I was struck down by fear and froze. I did nothing but whince and look away in disgust.

Eventually the asshole walked away and gave me the dirtiest look he could muster up. The guy who was attacked then got up walked away too. He was actually bleeding quite badly and I felt like shit for having not done anything. A few minutes passed and I went to look for him, I headed towards the police station but again, struck down my anxiety I turned back.

So thats it; too scared to help someone in danger. I realise I couldn't have been of much help, its not like I'm gonna take him down and slap him about (although I would've loved to) but I could've at least shouted for more help or something...argh!

>>Although this thread was a semi-rant, I'd be interested in any advice regarding how to deal with a similar situation if it ever arises again or if any of you have been in similar situations?

I am also even more angry at myself because I have been in a similar situation and yep, no one helped. I've been harrassed/spat on by a gang of teenage girls and was desperate for help, and I'd also been knocked down by a car whilst on my motorbike and no one helped!

Argh great I'm a hypcrite now too. I just can't believe I let my anxiety get in the way of helping someone.

 

[Scottish_Player]

I think its best not to get into those situations unless you think you can handle it, also the thing might have been about drugs as the guy was asking for his money, so its best to stay away from it.

I have got into a few situations like yours myself, one was a group of boys about 15 or 16 all ganging up on one other boy, i was driving past in my van and i had to stop as i would hate my self for driving on but its like those moments my sp and anxiety goes right out the window but after the incident has passed thats when it hits me real bad, i stoped and kinda broke up the fighting but when it was over i started thinking about what if they turned on me and what if there parents where round the corner and they came round and thought i was to do with it and they turned on me ( aahh the joys of an overactive immagination )

but i think u done the right thing and stayed out of it, always look after yourself first :wink:

 

[black_mamba]

I have got into a few situations like yours myself, one was a group of boys about 15 or 16 all ganging up on one other boy, i was driving past in my van and i had to stop as i would hate my self for driving on but its like those moments my sp and anxiety goes right out the window but after the incident has passed thats when it hits me real bad, i stoped and kinda broke up the fighting but when it was over i started thinking about what if they turned on me and what if there parents where round the corner and they came round and thought i was to do with it and they turned on me ( aahh the joys of an overactive immagination )

Wow good for you!! Thats my major worry in gang situations, also because in my area its not uncommon for groups of teenagers to attack lone adults. Unfortunately some locals have been murdered in this way.



I'm glad you were safe and kept your cool. I'd have wanted to run the buggars over!

 

[Sue]

i think you did the right thing too. i always want to help everyone but have to stop and think if it would get nasty. i dont get involved with things that i cant handle.

im not surprised that you froze. i freeze when i get scared. if there were three of me i would do something but getting into something when you dont know whats going on could bring alot of trouble onto you.

i know you wanted to help. i would too. but it was good that you didnt. dont feel bad about it mamba. you know your heart is in the right place.
but what went down sounds like something you would be better off avoiding.

 

[paul]

black_mamba --- I've had a similar situation, two people (one was a friend, one I didn't know) were in a fight, and fights completely set off anxiety for me, so I was just frozen, I couldn't do anything... I actually threw up. When my teacher broke it up, she got really mad at ME and said I needed to "face my anxieties" :x

But I would feel bad in your situation too, and I would have probably done the same thing. I think the other people who were just sitting there and DIDN'T have SA are more at fault than you. Of course most people would be like "OMG WHY DIDNT U DO ANYTHING" but I understand what you mean, so I don't think you did the 'wrong' thing, just your anxiety prevented you from doing what would have been most practical. Overall what I'm trying to say is it's not really YOUR fault, it's your SA's.
I'm having trouble putting this into words... sorry

 

[black_mamba]

black_mamba --- I've had a similar situation, two people (one was a friend, one I didn't know) were in a fight, and fights completely set off anxiety for me, so I was just frozen, I couldn't do anything... I actually threw up. When my teacher broke it up, she got really mad at ME and said I needed to "face my anxieties" :x

[eric cartman]Bad teacher thats a bad teacher! [/eric cartman]

Your teacher sounds incredible inconsiderate!

I just hope that if I ever am involved in an accident again someone will help. It scares me to go out on my own on my bike knowing that if I get into trouble chances are that most strangers wouldn't do anything.

I think they aired a show on UK tv a while back where actors pretended to faint in public or act very distressed and ill - and 9 times out of 10 no one came to the rescue. Their excuses were that they could be high on drugs and therefore dangerous, or just trying to 'trap' someone in order to mug them.

People are so cynical!

 

[black_mamba]

2 on 1 is Not acceptable. The whole party had moved outside and were cheering the two cowardly ass females. I will not tolerate that shit. I waded in and grabbed the two bitches by the hair and just slammed them down on the cement.

You did what I would've dreamt of doing!

You are right about looking out for yourself though, and often in group situations its near impossible to get involved without doing exactly that. Alerting the police would've been a good bet in my situation had it persisted. The only time I almost got physical was with a group of young girls who had spat on me - but since they insisted on screaming how young they were I backed off. Grey area - I don't want a child abuse record!! It's ok though - I broke one of the girl's yo-yos accidently when I went to grab her wrist. :lol:

I know that I waded in and this might sound hipocritical but seriously, I had a buck knife, I'm a Big girl and I had bounced at bars and shows before so I had a good feel for my safety, and I Still would Never put myself in that position again.

Be my bodyguard!