HELP !!!

[nici]

Hi everyone, Im new here. been suffering from blushing phobia for over a year and its totally destroyed my life. Im fine with hubby and kids but affects me strongly over certain people, mainly relatives. Ive lost the life i used to have, gone through countless jobs, and become totally scared of conversation. if someone asks me simple question about myself i immediately feel myself flushing, like a clammy feeling, the redness creeps up from my neck like a wierd blotchy look, like ive been scalded. this in turn makes me try and distract myself. but now its like i hav to distract myself before it even happens, because of the fear of it. Im reluctant to talk about certain topics, anything that angers, excites or saddens me, can make me feel im attracting attention and it makes me worse. Ive tried meds to no avail, CBT, and am now trying diazapam, up to 5mg and still no affect. thinking of trying acupunture but may run pricey (anyone tried it?) have thought about ending it all a couple of times, but my kids come first! Through CBT, i know the best way to overcome this is to face it, but im nowhere near strong enough for that yet. my biggest wish at the mo is that the diazapam can totally relax me enough to hold a decent conversation, talking about anything i like without the worry. My doc reassures me that its just a passing phase and i WILL get over it (wish i could hav a dose of his confidence) but i'm terrified this is the way im doomed to spend the rest of my life ! ! !

 

[Winter]

hey nici.
I know just how you feel, I used to blush loads. Like i'd blush even when someone said my name or talked to me or anything and I really let it get me down. I still blush a bit now but only in situations like when I have to talk in front of a big group of people or genuinely embarassing situations. I guess I have found, that the worst thing you can do with a blushing phobia is to let it dwell on your mind and let it get you down because that does nothing to deminish the phobia. It actually digs you even further into a hole. Also in situations when you feel you are going to blush then don't think..'oh god i'm blushing..' etc, because the only thing that will do is make it more likely that you're gonna blush. So what is suggest is whenever you feel the negative thoughts coming then stop yourself, and force the positive thoughts into your head, like i dunno, 'i have the confidence inside me', 'it doesn't matter if I blush' and keep doing that until you feel the positive thoughts come naturally. You might not believe them at first but you will eventually. Like, do that whenever you're in a situation where you feel like you're gonna blush. I've also found that if you act like nothing is wrong when you blush, then noone seems to notice it. And noone really does notice anyway, like when I bumped into this girl once in a shop I felt myself go bright red but when I looked in the mirror it was only slightly tinted red and not noticeable at all.

I know how it feels like to think you will never get over this, but trust me it IS possible! You just need the self belief that you will.

well I hope that helped at all x

 

[herringman1]

started for me when i was 13 and im almost 61 now.Been fighting it all my life but just dont get any better.I'm new in here and i like the positive thought thing.Chanel is comming out with a cream thats suppose to end all this.hope it happens soon so i could have a few years of peace.Its always on my mind,can't talk to people at all..herringman1

 

[nici]

thanx guys for the support. my main worry is that i am very jittery and nervous around certain people and not others, say for example, i'm fine with one sister, comfortable and relaxed yet totally on edge with another, for no reason at all. Fine with one parent but again very jittery with the other. If i let the blushes come (which are horrendous by the way). im worried that those people it happens with will figure out thats its only them that makes me like that. Its like ive made myself have a phobia over certain people. Lets say i was having lunch with some members of my family, i could hold a normal conversation with one of them no problem, then if another spoke and i went bright red every time they talked to me they would think im not comfortable around them, and wonder what theyve done wrong. so i would find it really difficult allowing myself to blush in case i offend that person, especially as i can be so calm and relaxed around another, and they might pick up on that. I hope you get my meaning.

 

[Winter]

Yeah I know what you mean, having certain people that trigger the blushing. I remember last year there was this girl in one of my classes at school that was one of those confident, outgoing people. Well I sat opposite her in some classes and I was a bit intimidated by her I guess, even though she had done nothing wrong to me and was quite nice actually. I started going red whenever she talked to me like said 'hi' or anything, and I got it into my head that she would trigger me blushing. it got so bad that whenever I walked past her I would go red. And I'd think she'd be thinking something like, what's wrong with her? is she scared of me? because I only blushed in front of her but was okay with other people. I did manage to get over it though, basically by not letting the negative thoughts run through my head, like oh no, [certain person] is going to make me blush.. because that just creates the fuel for the vicious circle to go on. Just try not to worry about it, and whenever you start to get the negative thoughts or start blushing/ getting nervous in front of the person, use your rational thought to tell yourself things like, 'why should this person make me blush..? they're just another human being, I have no reason to blush or be nervous around them..' and eventually the rational part of your mind will overtake the unconcious part of it which has created the vicious circle of blushing. It may take awile for these more rational thoughts to take effect but they will eventually, and if you find that you accidently allow the negative thoughts to overtake your rational ones, and you start blushing at the person, just pretend not to notice or if it is bad use an excuse like, 'sorry, I think I have a fever, my face is burning up..' and laugh it off, then the other person will realise that it isn't them that is making you blush or that you feel uncomfortable in their presence.

hope that makes sense, lol. x

 

[nici]

I will really try hard at the positive thinking thing, got nothing to lose, hav I?

thanks

 

[Jade_666]

Ooooh, I know exactly what you're talking about. ;OI usually try to see if the tip of my nose looks red; but usually I can feel when It starts, it has to be one of the most "dreadful" things to go through... as we think when it happends. I hope you find a successful solution to it taht works out well for you! =D

 

[a_solution]

Read this if you want help

You dont need drugs and you dont need surgery. Blushing is a mental problem.

ive had a blushig problem for years now but i have recently defeated it. I used to seach through forums like this for an answer but there ever was one. It seemed that noone ever overcame this problem or the few people who did just werent bothered ever coming back to these depressing forums to share how they did it. I vowed that if i could end my blushing that i would come back and share my solution because i know as much as anyone how devastating this problem can be.

I have no affiliation with any websites or companies offering solutions to this or any other problem(for all you cynics out there), however i am going to direct you to a site where you can download an audio book, and you will have to pay for it. This audio book expalins exactly how to change your way of thinking to stop your blushing problem forever. There is no magic bullet(well actully there sort of is, i'll tell about that later). This may take a bit of time, but it definitely works.

For those of you who simply cant afford to pay for this or are just to cynical to try i will tell you the main points he makes to solve your blushing problem. You've probably heard some of them before but when you really take them on board and add them all together it is extremely powerful

dont resist when you blush or think you are going to

accept the fact that you are a blusher and that your face turns red more easily than others.

your face is not nearly as red as you probabaly think it is. so chill out.

STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU

That's the most important one. Think about it. You've probably always been very preoccupied with what others though of you. Years of this has resluted in your blushing problem. You are at fault for this problem through your own way of thinking. Thats another point-you have to accept responsibility for this problem because YOU ARE TO BLAME, that is very important. This website is called blushingfree.com. Check it out.

If you download this audio book you will see that this guy directs you to another site which sells self help tapes which cost hundreds of €€€. Don't stop reading yet. These tapes are amazing-they really work on your subconcious to change your way of thinking and increase your self-esteem and confidence.

The website is called thinkrightnow.com. Check it out. I didnt spend one penny on these tapes. there is another website called btjunkie.org where you can download torrent files for free. You just have to download a torrent application thingy on you computer first (uTorrent is one of these, its free). I am not condoning illegal downloading, you would be doing this at your own risk, but ive heard its very easy, and completely free.

So there is a free solution. You dont even have to dowload the audiobook because ive told you all the main points already. However i would recommend that you do because he goes into much more detail and theres probably other important points that i cant remember. I your life is being crippled even half as muc as you all say it is then you will try this solution. And if you give this the right commitment and effort you will no longer be a blusher. Good Luck.

 

[nici]

thanx. i will check it out, but without trying to sound so pessimistic, i have already tried these things, ive allowed the blushes to come, tried deep relaxation, and constantly tell myself it doesnt matter, i am who i am! but i really believe that its a fight between your mind and your body and sometimes (well, most of the time) the mind is a hell of a lot stronger.
Thanks again.

 

[a_solution]

Your right. It is a battle between your body and mind and positive thinking and ignoring the blush won't work alone. I used to have a severe blushing problem and now its completely gone. I never would have overcame it without the audio tapes i refered to in my last post. They are very expensive to buy and you have to get them shipped to your house but check out my last post for how you can get them for free.

You could have these tapes downloaded tomorrow if you do it now. And you'll begin working on your subconcious mind so you won't have to ignore the blush because it wont be there and you'll just feel different.

Download the bit torrent application uTorrent for free

Go to btjunkie.com and search for 'think right now'

Download the file that contains the sefl-esteem and self confidence tapes

You can select to just download these items from the file and exclude the others(this will be quicker)

Listen to the tapes as much as possible.

You can go to the thinkrightnow.com website to read about the tapes and also download a free package which contains instructions on the best way to listen to the tapes. This will increase their effectiveness.

You should also download the ebook at blushingfree.com
You will have to pay for this (about $45 i think) but that is nothiing to pay for relieving yourself of this problem.

Good luck.